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Projection is a Project to Protect Self-Interest: DAY 158

December 25, 2012 in Anna's Journey to Life

Self Deception by tekhiun 756x1024 Projection is a Project to Protect Self Interest: DAY 158In this blog post I am sharing self-corrective and self-commitment statements in continuation to the following blog post:

The Gift of Projection is a Self-Honest Mirror: 157

When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to participate in backchat about another being egotistical because of how I perceive them as not doing what I think they should be doing I stop and I breathe and I flag point this for myself as a moment to stop up – because I see, realize and understand that the moment I am busy judging or blaming another in my mind, I am literally in the process of projecting what I am accepting and allowing in myself onto the other, even if it does not feel like it and it feels so real – when I am focusing on another in any negative or positive way in my mind – it is a projection and I stop and I bring the point back to myself in looking at how I am being egotistical and accordingly I commit myself to take self-responsibility for what it is I am accepting and allowing through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application.

When and as I see that I am reacting towards another where I’d focus in my mind in backchat on what I perceive that the other is doing or not doing and accordingly am accepting and allowing myself to react and where I see this and remind myself that I am projecting – where I in backchat say to myself that I don’t care that I am projecting or where I come up with justifications and excuses to make myself self-righteous in projecting onto another – I stop and I give myself a deep breath and I re-commit myself here to not participate in projection or to hold onto the projection but to bring it back to myself. Because I see, realize and understand that when I project all I do is try to hide from myself to not have to face and take responsibility for myself basically so that I can keep living in a way that I know is not best for all without having to also face the consequences of my action which is the ‘doctrine’ that we’ve all be living by on earth and that is the reason for this wretched mess we’re in now. And I see, realize and understand also that hiding from oneself is redundant because we’re right here, I am right here and I cannot escape myself. All I can do is to change or not change. And if I don’t change, I’ll keep creating the same crap over and over. So therefore I commit myself to stop arguing for my reactions towards others in my mind and I commit myself to discipline myself to bring all points of projection – positive and negative – back to myself so that I can sort myself out here and not send myself on a time-loop to accumulate even more consequences for myself to sort out later.

When and as I see that I am experiencing anger towards myself within and as an experience that “I am angry at myself” I stop. Because I see, realize and understand that for me to be angry at myself it requires that there is more than one of me as there is one that is angry and one that is myself and therefore I see, realize and understand that I am only angry at myself when I separate myself from myself and so for example if or as I accept and allow myself to be egotistical and act in self-interest, I’d separate myself from what I am accepting and allowing and in that create a split through which I would get angry at myself as a polarized reaction because I had already split myself in two – and so I commit myself to stop splitting and separating myself through firstly when and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to experience something towards myself stop myself and breathe. And I commit myself to investigate what it is I have separated myself from through which I’d create this experience of anger so that I can instead bring all parts of me back here and direct myself effectively as ONE in standing as the amalgamating principle within and as myself to no longer accept or allow myself to split myself into parts just so that I can fuck with myself, create inner conflict and abdicate self-responsibility.

self deception by bonnycastle d37qewe 1024x671 Projection is a Project to Protect Self Interest: DAY 158When and as I see that I am being super hard on myself or another where I’d result to bullying and blaming and judging in expecting more of another or myself I stop myself and I breathe. Because I see, realize and understand how I’ve created this expectation based on a belief and an ide(al) about how I am supposed to be and how another is supposed to be in and as superiority that has nothing to do with practical, actual reality and so reality is ‘doomed’ to disappoint because it cannot live up to this idea or fantasy. And so I see, realize and understand that when I for example become angry at myself for having participated in backchat it is because I had created an idea and a belief for example about who I am supposed to be as I have compared myself to others and so in seeing that I am participating in backchat that is what I focus on, instead of simply focusing on correcting and re-aligning myself to what is best for all in stopping participation in backchat. I see, realize and understand that I can only change myself through embracing myself in saying: “this is what is, this is who I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be and become, so be it – now I’ll change.” Meaning that it is not complicated – it is simply a matter of recognizing and accepting that this is so and then change myself. So therefore I commit myself to stop bullying myself and to stop being hard on myself and on another because I see, realize and understand that this behavior is not an expression of ‘high standards’ or ‘living by principle’ and as such that I when I step into this character am superior but in fact that it is a self-sabotaging and self-abuse character through which and within which I prevent myself from changing in fact because I am so focused on reacting towards myself for not living up to my own unrealistic expectations.

When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to react towards myself in anger, resentment, shame, blame and judgment within and as a particular character of perceiving myself as holding ‘high standards’ which I either project onto myself or onto another where I actually fear that part of me that I am judging because I see it as ‘wrong’ and ‘dirty’ and thus as ‘tainting’ my self-righteous self – I stop and I breathe and I remind myself that I am within this seeing everything in reverse because I am using morality to create a fake character of morality and high standards to actually hide my ‘true nature’ of self-interest so that I can keep existing in and as self-interest without having to deal with the consequences and so the anger I experience is actually more towards exposing myself in and as this character saying: “I don’t want this dirty beast in my house, put it in the basement so that I don’t have to look at it and the guests don’t think I am a monster when they arrive”. So through this ‘high horse morality’ character I am in fact deliberately hiding and suppressing my own evilness which also means that when the evilness does emerge and becomes visible and I see myself, it is actually a moment of gratitude and it is cool because the fact that I can see myself in self-honesty, means that I can change. So – therefore I commit myself to further investigate the ‘high horse morality’ character so that I can let it go and step out of this character and move myself to immediate self-correction instead of wasting time on judging and blaming myself through which I react with suppressing myself i.e. running away from myself.

When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to be angry at myself I stop and I breathe because I see, realize and understand that in being angry at myself I am in fact confirming for myself that whatever it is I am angry at myself towards is ‘who I am’ – I am literally in the anger solidifying myself in and as this particular point that I am angry at myself for being, which is obviously completely unreasonable and illogical. So therefore I commit myself to stop participating in anger towards myself as I have now shown myself how it is not only redundant but also how it serves the exact opposite purpose of what it is presented as, which makes it deceptive and thus I am self-deceptive when and as I participate in anger towards myself. I therefore commit myself to instead develop immediacy in moving myself to and within the simplicity of applying corrective action in terms of writing, self-forgiveness and directively changing my behavior through breathing as I see, realize and understand that this is the only way I can change in fact

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my self-control and direction to self-interest and backchat and desire for stimulation and fear through abdicating my self-responsibility for myself as that desires and fear and as such making myself less than the desire and fear thus giving it control over me and as me making it my directive principle and thus making myself a slave to fear and desire

Medusa in Denial by rborozan 768x1024 Projection is a Project to Protect Self Interest: DAY 158I commit myself to re-align myself to common sense, practical and simplistic living where I prescribe for myself the basic responsibilities of writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application, caring for my body and interacting with others/the physical and where this is what I give my focus and attention to and so I commit myself to steer and direct my attention from entertainment and gossip and stimulation to practical common sense living. So when and as I see myself in backchat wanting to do something else than a point of responsibility that I have prescribed here for myself, I stop and I breathe and I remind myself that I am busy sabotaging myself and that the urge/desire I am experiencing in the moment towards consuming something (which is the most frequent urge) is not real and that the value I see within it through excitement and the craving I experience, is in fact about me deliberately running away from facing myself and taking responsibility and so I see, realize and understand that I require walking a self-education process of teaching myself to live based on different principles and I see, realize and understand that this can and will never happen ‘by itself’ but only through my direct and deliberate stewardship of myself and so I commit myself to re-establish myself here as the steward of myself and I commit myself to honor my life and myself by re-educating myself to value that which is substantial and real, the physical and this process and to let go of my mental value systems which only serves the absolute destruction and detriment of life in fact as I have proven to myself time and again.

When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to live and act in self-interest where I see that I am experiencing myself powerless towards the particular point or addiction that I am living, I stop and I breathe and I flag this point because I see, realize and understand that when an addiction is running me by its own where it is like it has a life on its own, it is because I have made a decision for the addiction to have control over me deliberately in abdicating my own self-responsibility as creator and authority over myself and therefore I see, realize and understand that to say and experience myself as powerless towards an addiction is a deliberate self-deceptive excuse and justification to not take responsibility for myself by making something/someone else the point of superiority and power in my life when in fact it is all a charade that I have orchestrated and set in motion at my own will, which also means that I can change myself and stop accepting myself as powerless. So therefore I commit myself to investigate in detail and specificity when and as such a point comes up where I would say “I want to stop but I can’t” and to bring the point back to myself in self-responsibility in reversing the permission I’ve given myself to abdicate myself to this point. I commit myself to stop accepting it as natural and normal to exist in self-interest and to accept myself as powerless towards the ‘forces’ that emerge from within and as me as fears, desires and addictions and I commit myself to re-define and re-align what ‘normal’ and ‘natural’ means to common sense practical living in a way that is best for all.

Join us at Desteni, support is available on forum on how to write oneself out in self-honesty and where any questions regarding the Desteni Material will be answered by Destonians who are walking their own process. Visit the Destonian Network where videos and blogs are streamed daily. Suggest to also check out the Desteni I Process and Relationship  courses for extended training and support. Walk with us in implementing an Equal Money System as a new System on Earth based on Equality as what is Best for All.

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Projection is a Project to Protect Self Interest: DAY 158

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It should not matter where I am: DAY 19-20

May 7, 2012 in Anna's Journey to Life

grass is greener 1024x576 It should not matter where I am: DAY 19 20I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is only one place on earth where I can be satisfied, where I can effectively walk my process, where I can live with others effectively – and that all other places are less than and inferior to this one place

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I do not live in this one place, I can never be satisfied, I can never walk an effective process, I can never live with others effectively – instead of realizing that it should not matter where I am for me to walk effectively as I am that which determines who and what I am and how I walk effectively and whether I am effective or not and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself and to justify why I am not as effective as I could be, simply because I am not living in this one place

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise, disregard and diminish myself here, the beings I live with and the environment and place where I live, because of the belief that there is only one place on earth where I can be satisfied and walk this process effectively and as such completely miss myself here and miss out of the opportunity to walk and live effectively here

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize and understand that it doesn’t matter where I live, because what matters is who I am within and as where I am and what I do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a pattern of always desiring to be somewhere else in the delusional belief that if I where somewhere else, someone else, with someone else, doing something else – I would be satisfied, I would be effective – never realizing that this experience is continuous and constant, because that is how and as who I have accepted myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare where I am here with where I perceive that I should be, which is not even a real place because it is not here – but an image in my mind that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in competition with, within having separated what is here from myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard and disrespect myself here as well as the beings I live with and the environment and place I live, by diminishing it in my mind in comparing it to the only place I believe I will be satisfied and effective – not realizing that it is not about where I am, but about who and what I accept myself as, as continuously not allow myself to be satisfied or effective, because I believe that I need and require something, someone else outside separate from my to make me satisfied and for me to be effective

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, experience and accept that I need something, someone else outside separate from me to make me satisfied and to make me effective and as such within that have justified my self-abdication and allowed myself to blame those that I have deceived myself into believing are responsible

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my self-abdication through projecting the responsibility for my satisfaction and effectiveness outside separate from me

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to face myself in self-honesty in and as self-responsibility for my satisfaction and effectiveness and subsequent dissatisfaction and ineffectiveness and as such investigate why I am not satisfied or effective so that I can direct myself effectively to stand and live what is best for all – and as such create myself into and as satisfaction within the realization and self-direction that the only valid satisfaction is to live that which is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest, create and participate in constant and continuous back chat and self-talk about how it is unfair that I am not in that one place on earth where I believe I will be satisfied and effective and how there is something wrong with me because I am not there and how I am to blame for not being there and how I would have been satisfied and effective had I been there

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest, create and participate within and as constant and continuous backchat of projecting myself in my mind – and as such separate myself from myself here in and as the physical – onto the only place on earth where I believe I can be satisfied and walk process effectively and imagine what it will be like to be there and how happy I would be if I was there and how satisfied and effective

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest, create and participate within and as constant and continuous backchat of and as envy and jealousy towards the beings that are in fact at this only place on earth that I believe is worth existing at, in picturing how they are enjoying themselves and each other and how they are satisfied and effective

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to relate and associate my satisfaction and effectiveness – and as such myself as satisfaction and effectiveness – to a place outside separate from me, that actually only exist in my mind – and as such as a delusion – and by doing so, completely separate myself from and accept myself as separate from myself here, in and as the physical – the only place where I can change, the only place where I can face and change myself as satisfaction and effectiveness into what is in fact best for all

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to walk effectively here, because I have allowed myself to preoccupy myself within, with and as backchat of projection as separating in the belief I must be somewhere else to be effective and satisfied

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I have never actually allowed myself to be satisfied and to see that the problem is not that I am dissatisfied, but that I have not accepted or allowed myself to be satisfied or to direct myself into and as satisfaction – or to investigate why I am not satisfied and that the answer does not lay in my personal satisfaction, but in what is here as the totality of existence as who and what and how I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize or understand the arrogance and spite that I have cast upon myself and upon all of existence by believing that my personal satisfaction is the most important thing in the world and that as such, because I am not satisfied with myself or with my experience of myself in the world, that I cannot be effective or apply myself effectively – and as such disregard and spite all of existence and myself in and as it

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to let go of the belief, idea and perception that only by being in and living in this one particular place on earth will I be satisfied or effective and as such have allowed myself to deceive and manipulate myself into accepting and justifying my ineffectiveness as yet another trick of the mind that I completely and entirely have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate myself to

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize and understand the complete deceptive nature and design of the belief that I cannot be satisfied or effective, without being dependent upon someone else or somewhere else outside separate from me and that I through participating in and submitting myself to this belief, have accepted and allowed myself to be and justify myself as ineffective

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the only reason why I am not effective or satisfied is because I have separated myself from myself as effectiveness and satisfaction and as such my dissatisfaction or ineffectiveness is entirely and totally my own responsibility – and as such it is my responsibility to direct myself into and as effectiveness and satisfaction through bringing myself back to myself here, walking here, living here, in and as the physical

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to direct and support myself to investigate in self-honesty why and how I am not effective or satisfied and if that is a real and practical self-honest deduction or if it is a delusion of separation in my mind that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and manifest myself into and as, as a way of abdicating my self-responsibility as life here

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to direct and support myself to be and become effective and to accept myself as effectiveness

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I will never actually be satisfied until I live here as what is best for all in every breath and that the experience of dissatisfaction is indicating where and how I am not standing or walking for and within what is best for all and as such is a point I can support myself through, instead of taking personally in preoccupying myself in the belief that I have a right to be satisfied or that it is unfair that I am not satisfied

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect and anticipate that I will be satisfied and to see, define, experience and accept it as unfair and unjustified if I am not experiencing satisfaction and as such throw emotional tantrums and refuse to act or live what is best for all because I am not satisfied – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that the only point in existence that currently is valid as satisfaction is to live and act within and according to what is best for all

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize or understand that it doesn’t matter where I am for whether or not I am effective or satisfied – because that which determines my effectiveness and satisfaction is me as who and what I accept and allow myself to be and live as and what I accordingly live

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to be grateful and humble for where I am and in that see, that no matter where I am, I have the opportunity to direct and support myself in self-honesty to be effective and satisfied within standing up for and within what is best for all – and in fact the responsibility to do so, because nothing else is relevant besides creating a world that is best for all

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see or admit to myself in self-honesty the process within which I have walked myself here to where I am and realize that I cannot be anywhere else but where I am  – or walk within or as anyone else as who I am here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to come up with and submit myself to any and all excuses and justifications to not be effective and because of this not allow myself to actually be satisfied because the only point of satisfaction I have accepted is satisfaction within and as the mind as self-interest

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize or understand that my desire and preoccupation with being somewhere else than where I am – is me allowing myself to live and exist within and as self-interest in a one-dimensional reality in my mind where all I care about it my own idea of satisfaction and my preference to live in a certain place, with certain people in a certain way – and not in any way what so ever consider or care about what is best for all

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see or realize that my desire to be somewhere else, with someone else, as someone else – is actually a desire to get away from myself here and as such a justification as emotional manipulation so as to not face myself here and in and as self-honesty direct myself here effectively to and as a point of satisfaction within and according to what is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distract myself deliberately from focusing on and facing what is here as whom I am, as the self-dishonesty as self-deception that I have accepted and allowed myself to live and exist in and as – in self-interest as ego of mind, in separation of and from myself here -

You Are Here Earth 1024x1024 It should not matter where I am: DAY 19 20I commit myself to stop all participation in backchat of desire to be somewhere else, with someone else, as someone else – and I commit myself to support myself to remain here to stop thoughts and projections outside of myself

I commit myself to stop and delete the belief that I will and can only be effective and satisfied by being on a specific place on earth, so that I can direct and support myself here to be effective so as to live within and according to what is best for all and as such accept and allow myself to be and become fully satisfied

I commit myself to dedicated myself to walk as who I am here, where I am, with whom I am with and to do whatever is required to be done here to create a world that is best for all and myself within that as a being that stands for and lives what is best for all

I commit myself to bring into manifestation the realization that it does not matter where I am because where I am is here and who I am is here

I commit myself to be grateful for what is here and the opportunities I have here to stand myself up as life as what is best for all

Join us at Desteni, where a forum is available 24/7 with support on how to write oneself out in self-honesty and where any questions regarding the Desteni Material will be answered by competent Destonians who are walking their own process. Visit the Destonian Network where videos and blogs are streamed daily. Suggest to also check out the Desteni I Process and Relationship  courses for extended training and support. Walk with us in implementing an Equal Money System as a new System on Earth based on Equality as what is Best for All. Let’s Walk

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Who I Am as The Creator of Resistance: DAY 3

April 17, 2012 in Anna's Journey to Life

I Resist Therefore I eXisT by HeDzZaTiOn Who I Am as The Creator of Resistance: DAY 3I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand the creation, manifestation and design of resistance, as a systematic implantation that I have inserted into my very beingness, as the gatekeeper through which I keep myself separate from myself, so as to not see, realize or understand myself as creation and creator and so that I don’t walk out of the mind and into the physical

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create, manifest and participate within and as resistance as a total encompassing impenetrable fortress of experience that I have created around and within myself, to ensure that I would remain separate, existing as parts excluded from each other, so as to not realize myself as the creation and creator of and as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself into believing that I within the creation, manifestation, experience and acceptance of myself in and as resistance, were doing myself a favor, were supporting myself to fight against that which I perceived as a threat, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that it was all in reverse – and that which I perceived as a threat, was in fact the key to my freedom: myself as the truth and true nature of who and what and how I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself into seeing, perceiving and defining myself, in, into and as the creation of resistance in complete reverse – as the protection of myself from threats outside, separate from me – when in fact I was protecting myself within perceiving and accepting and experiencing  the realization and transcendence of myself as a threat

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize resistance to manipulate, deceive and force myself to remain enslaved within and as the confinements of the mind, creating and manifesting and participating in the delusional experience and acceptance that I within the experience of resistance, am protecting myself from being penetrated, infiltrated and invaded by something/someone outside separate from me that I have perceived as a threat to my very existence, not realizing that that something/someone, was in fact myself, as the truth and reality of myself as who and what and how I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, as the creation and creator of and as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest and create myself into and as resistance against the systems that I have created to contain myself and as such as resistance towards the oppression of myself instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I as resistance and oppression are two coins of the same creation and manifestation that I have created and manifested with the purpose of enslaving and containing myself and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself into believing that I could change myself as the system of oppression through resistance

I forgive myself that I have not ever accepted or allowed myself to question the experience, definition and acceptance of resistance that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as, and that Instead deliberately have refused to question the experience of resistance, within the very nature of resistance as exiting in an experience of suppression and retraction in the self-deceptive belief and self-delusion that within accepting myself in and as and giving into resistance, I was protecting myself and supporting myself and caring for myself, to make sure that I stay away from all that I perceived as a threat to my existence

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that how I have defined, accepted, lived and experienced “my existence” in the context of resistance, has been as survival only and I forgive myself that I have not ever accepted and allowed myself to stop up and question the definition that I have created and accepted of “my existence” as survival

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the existence that I have believed and perceived myself to protect fiercely through my participation in and devoted submission to resistance, was the existence of myself as fear and within that the existence of myself as greed, as being completely absorbed by, within and as the fear of losing myself and losing the existence I have perceived myself to have and as such create the notion of survival as a way of justifying and substantiating my existence of myself as fear into and as physical practical reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take resistance for granted and to take the experience of and as in and as resistance for granted, in never questioning it or challenging myself to push through the experience of resistance and instead unconditionally accept resistance as a part of myself, in and from which I am protecting myself from that which I perceive to be a threat

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my creation, manifestation and participation in, of and as resistance based on and because of it being a “gut feeling” and an emotion – as I have defined myself within and according to emotions and feelings as that of and as myself that I could trust as real and true, simply because “I feel it”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately subdue and suppress and deny myself self-honesty and self-realization in moments where I am faced with resistance and where I deliberately create, manifest and participate within and as an experience of resistance – where I am fully aware that when I allow myself to give into and submit myself to resistance, I am preventing and prohibiting myself from facing and realizing myself in self-honesty, as the truth of and as myself as the creation and creator of and as myself

I forgive myself that I, in moment of facing resistance in and as myself, have accepted and allowed myself to create, manifest and participate within and as an automated submission to and a decision to give into and to comply with resistance, based on the acceptance and belief that resistance is in fact protecting me from that which I perceive to be a threat to my survival

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately and knowingly give into and submit myself to resistance in and as a refusal to face myself, as the truth of who and what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become – because I know that if I allow myself to face myself in self-honesty, I have but no choice but to take self-responsibility and to unravel and expose to myself the true nature of who and what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become and as such have no choice but to change myself, to let of all that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become and as such in giving into resistance, in fact making the choice to remain existing in self-deception, interest of and as ego as fear only in wanting to remain existing as I am, in the fear of losing myself  - not realizing that all that I exist as, as I have accepted and allowed myself exist, is the very manifestation and creation of loss and the very insistence of myself as loss and the very deliberate action to create myself into and as loss

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to embrace myself in and as resistance, to dare to get to know myself as resistance, by investigating and questioning who and what I am as resistance and how I have created myself into and as resistance and how and why I have created resistance as a protection installation into and as the totality of myself, as a fortress in which I believe and perceive myself to have created out of the necessity of keeping perceived threats on my life out, when in fact the entire and total purpose of the fortress of and as resistance that I have created for and as and with myself, is to keep myself enslaved, hidden, constrained and trapped in fear

I forgive myself that I have ever accepted and allowed myself to love fear, to cherish fear, to unconditionally submit myself to fear within and because of the experience of safety  and security that I created as a self-deceptive justification to remain existing within and as fear and as such, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create, manifest and participate within and as a relationship with fear, as separate parts of myself that I have brought together in their separate manifestations, in the purpose of protecting myself as the mind

Within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to submit myself to fear, without question, to deliberately inferiorize myself to fear and deliberately create, make, accept and experience fear as more than me, as stronger than me, as wiser than me, as smarter than me – within and as through the very manifestation and creation of fear, as that which I have created to justify my separation of and from myself and the very act of separating myself from myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand, that fear does not exist, that fear has no substance or ground, as fear is merely the reflection and the continued deliberate creation and acceptance of myself as separate from and of myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever make myself forget that I created fear, out of and as the very manifestation and reflection of my self-created separation of and from myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand what the reason why, what I resist, persists, is because I resist is myself as the very creation and creator of and as myself, and what persists is the creation of and as myself that I am the creator of and such cannot escape myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, feel, experience and accept that I can trust myself as fear and as the manifestation of fear as the experience and creation of myself in and as resistance because I trusted the decision to separate myself from myself to protect myself and such I remain existing in that trust of my decision as creator and creation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust myself in and as the separation of and from myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust myself in and as the creation of myself as resistance and fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest resistance into and as this here human physical body and in and as the manifestation and creation of the mind as the very manifestation of myself as resistance towards facing myself as who and what and how I have accepted and allowed myself to exist, to be and become

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself by creating, manifesting and trusting resistance as physical experiences of “gut feeling” in my stomach with and through which I signal to myself that I am facing a point of threat and that I thorough experiencing the gut feeling, am telling myself to not go there – to run, to hide, to remove myself from the point I am facing and so not face or see or realize or understand or change myself as that point and instead remain as I am, as I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, as the very suppression of myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, that when I experience a “gut feeling” as I have defined the experience of fear in the solar plexus of the human physical body, I must remove myself from the point that I perceive as threat within which I believe that the feeling in the solar plexus of the human physical body, is telling me to remove myself so that I can protect myself from the threat that I have perceived to be on my very existence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define, experience, believe and accept the gut feeling in the solar plexus of the human physical body, as the truth of me, as intuition, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that what I am experiencing is not the truth of me, but the very manifestation of the refusal to face myself in and as the decision to separate myself from myself as the refusal to return to myself as the totality of who and what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become – and such take responsibility for and as myself as the creator and creation of and as myself, to in fact change myself by stopping and letting go of who and what and how I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself into and as creating and  manifesting resistance to facing and changing myself, by manifesting the resistance into and as the human physical body as experiences of tiredness, drowsiness, headache, itching, anger, irritation and pain – through which I have accepted and allowed myself to justify the compliance and submission of myself to resistance by deceiving myself into and as believing that what I am experiencing are mere physical and random experiences, that specifically requires me to remove myself from the moment of facing myself here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself into and as creating and manifesting an experience of relief and release of physical discomfort, when I comply with resistance and submit myself to resistance and not push through or question the manifestation or experience of resistance and as such justify for myself that I through complying with resistance, are in fact protecting and caring for myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that only by pushing through the experience of resistance, will the experience of resistance stop and that I within pushing through resistance, will see, realize and understand that resistance, however substantiated and dense I have experienced it physically, was not real, but an energetic installation and manifestation of self-deception as deliberate suppression to not face myself here – in and as self-honesty, in and as self-responsibility as the creation and the creator of and as myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand, that within pushing through resistance, I am giving myself the gift of myself as realizing myself as who and what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become and as such giving me back to me and in that re-claim from myself as the delusion that I have bewildered myself into and as in deliberate abdication of and from myself here, as the creation and the creator of myself as all there is, the authority to face me, to direct me, to take responsibility for me and in that the authority to change myself from and as who and what I have created myself into and as and accepted and allowed myself to exist in and as – to amalgamating and bringing back to myself, all parts of and as me, that I have separated myself into and as, till and as wholeness of and as me, as all life that is here, equal and one

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to embrace myself as resistance and to be grateful for myself as resistance, as the manifestation of resistance represent clear benchmarks as to what I require walking through to bring myself back to myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that every time I allow myself to give into resistance, I am directly responsible for the creation, acceptance, prolonging and intensification of consequence as suffering and abuse upon the very substance and flesh that is who I am, as this earth and the life-forms manifested and creation in and upon it – that will and do continue, until I bring all parts of and as myself back to myself in and as self-responsibility as the creator of myself, as all that is here as life

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the consequences of me accepting myself to give into and go into and submit myself to resistance, is the prolonging of suffering for all life that is here as me, that I have abdicated myself from, into and as, as parts existing in relationships of inequality and abuse, that I by participating in resistance as a refusal to face myself in and as accountability for the creation of what is here, as the creator of and as myself as what is here

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that resistance is futile and that by resisting the very creation of myself as the systems that is manifested here on this earth, I am perpetuating war, abuse and suffering by and within separating myself from myself as the creator of – and thus the responsible for – what is here as life

I commit myself to push through resistance and to clearly identify for myself specifically which experiences is indicating resistance, so that I can with ease push through them, in clearly seeing directly and in self-honesty that what I am experiencing is resistance and that by pushing through it, I bring myself back to myself

I commit myself to continue pushing through resistance until I am able and capable of walking through resistance with absolute ease, self-trust and determination and I as such move myself through the final layer of resistance and no more exist in, of or as resistance in any way and thereby see, face, realize, embrace and take responsibility for myself in fullness and wholeness of myself as creation, as the creator of myself as all that is here

I commit myself to pushing myself to push through all points of resistance – to identify in self-honest when and where I experience resistance and to assist myself to consistently walk and push through resistance until no push is required and I simply face myself directly in and as the totality of the creation of and as myself as the creator of myself as all that is here

When and as I see that I am experiencing resistance, through in self-honesty having identified a point of resistance, I push myself in the realization that for every time I push myself, I am standing myself up and that resistance is merely the representation and manifestation of my abdication of, from and as myself and as such understand that I will persist until I have pushed through all and any forms of resistance – as the refusal to face myself here and take self-responsibility for who and what and how I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become

When and as I experience tiredness, that is clearly not physical, because it comes as a rush of sleepiness and specifically manifests as a want, need and desire to close my eyes and drift away – I Stop. When and as I see thoughts emerging as deliberate justifications of the resistance wherein I claim to myself that tiredness is physical and a physical need to rest, I stop. I breathe. I do whatever it takes to move myself out of the experience of tiredness, yet without replacing the one experience of resistance with giving to another – and so, I continue with what I was doing, when the experience of resistance emerged, as I realize that the resistance indicates a point as an opportunity to transcend a point of separation and as such realize myself and amalgamate a part of myself that I have separated myself into and as

As such – I commit myself to welcome and embrace resistance as a point of direct and undeniable self-support that I through witnessing before myself here – have enabled and are enabling myself to walk through until it is done.

For extended perspectives on the creation of resistance – and the releasing and facing of self as resistance, please read Creation’s blog here.

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