2012 – The Dark-Side of The Fairytale of Parenting

January 18, 2012 in World Exposed Blog

nov2010 research top 2012   The Dark Side of The Fairytale of ParentingHow many parents do not feel like bad mothers and fathers, constantly existing in guilt and self-judgment every single day? How many do not believe that everyone else is perfect and well-equipped of being parents? And how many actually are? Welcome to the Dark-Side of The Fairytale of Parenting.

A couple of days ago I was walking home and outside the door to the apartment building was a boy at the age of three standing with his mother. The boy was playing on a rock covered in snow and the mother was standing a little to the side with her hands and face focused on her phone. First I thought about how it was not cool that she was preoccupied on her phone while the child was left to play by himself and I felt sorry for him.

Then it occurred to me that properly a lot if not most parents do actually not enjoy spending time with their children and that there are very few people who are either educated to teach children or who “naturally” simple enjoy it (often also because they enjoy the self-image of themselves as a parent.)
I started looking at how tough it is to be a parent and spending so much time not actually wanting to be with the child, but having to pretend that one is enjoying it, because otherwise one is classified as a “bad parent”. It really takes very little before people are seen as bad parents and ironically it takes a very long time before abuse against children by their parents is being stopped by anyone.

So I was looking at how isolated parents feel and how ashamed they are and how they judge themselves for not actually wanting to be with their children, but they have no where to change this or even share themselves openly. Why? Because most people are able to put up a front of looking like they got everything (and everyone) under control, that they are oh so happy with where they are in their lives, even though underneath it all they sometimes regret even having had children.
The dream of a happy family that started off so promising with a man and a woman that loved each other and a love-child under way in a big fertile stomach, ends abruptly as soon as the parents realize, for real, that this – is for life. And the man is not the man the woman dreamed he would be and even though she knew all along, she pushed her gut-feeling away for the picket-fence dream. And the man realizes that the woman’s body is changing and is not what he dreamed it would be and the woman who before wanted sex all the time, are now devoting all her attention to the child. And the child is screaming louder and more intense than either of them could have ever imagined and the anger and helplessness coming up inside them is so unbearable that they sometimes feel like they are going insane and they secretly wish that they could just get up and leave – some even do. And for the vast majority that is not rich, life is filled with money-problems and bills that seem to pile up like literal mountains of guilt and debt and powerlessness – and it feels like everything is just piles of shit on an otherwise shitty day.

It is the classic story,  right? The Dark-Side of the fairy-tale of parenting.

And everyone knows it or have experienced it for themselves as parents or children themselves, this apathy and feeling like you’re trapped in a nightmare of your own creation. And you don’t really understand how you got there, because everything was supposed to be fine, once you got the man, once you got the job, once you got the house, once you got the child.
This is why there is no continuation to “they lived happily ever after…” – because deep down everyone knows that it is a crock of shit, yet everyone also insist on “giving it a shot” anyway, because maybe, just maybe this is the right man, the right job, the right house and the right decision to get a child just now that will make all the pieces of one’s shitty life suddenly fall into perfect place and the birds will forever twitter in joy – NOT.

So – what is this? Because it is not some single man, woman or family who is participating in this – it is literally every single person on earth, (except for the few who for some reason have been designed with a different program to stand as a contrast and a teaser to show everyone else what they’re missing out of.) who is participating in this “ride of a life-time” – of every life-time, where we chase a fantasy reality, perpetuated as real and realistically obtainable by virtually every single movie, magazine, newspaper and recording artist on the planet.

And by keeping up the charade, these fake faces with toothpaste add smiles and perfectly kept homes and bodies, for those who are even able to do that much, by telling each other stories about how much we love our kids and how blessed we are to have had them and how we have never regretted it for a single second, even though we do in silence every day – we keep this bullshit sugar-coated night-mare going.

So – it is time for some honest parenting.  It is time for self-honest parents that dare share and expose and face their experiences with being parents. Parents that dare facing the Dark-Side of what it means to be a parent.

How many parents do actually enjoy spending time with their children? How many do not secretly wish that they never had children or feel ashamed that their children is reflecting the absolute worst in themselves? Why are these points never addressed or openly spoken about? At the Desteni Forum they are – and we bring all points back to Self – in Self-Forgiveness, Self-Honesty – so that we can Stand as Self-Responsible Human Beings and as examples for the generations to come.

The truth is that no-one has ever learned how to actually be parents, because how can we be intimate with our children, when we don’t even know how to be intimate with ourselves? How can we enjoy and express ourselves with our children, when we exist in constant fear, suppression and self-denial trying to get the hell out of any ‘authentic’ experience of vulnerability and openness because that only make us face how we really feel inside. And we believe that if we were to face that, our worlds could collapse and we can’t, we just can’t. So we don’t – and we keep pretending that everything is fine and dandy, just like everyone else. And we keep getting up in the morning and going into the hamster wheel we call “my life-choice” or “my career” or whatever we wish to imagine our life was like, believing that we say it enough, perhaps it will come true one day. It doesn’t.

In the Desteni I Process, we walk-with ourselves and each other to support ourselves to become self-honest and self-responsible parents, to ensure that the shit we’ve been born into and have carried with us from our parents and theirs before them, is not transferred to yet another generation. And as such we put and end to the viscous cycle of the sin of the fathers and prepare the birth of a NEW humanity – a humanity that cares for all life, equal and one.

Self-Honest Parenting in all its Dimensions is the Pinnacle for the Birth of a New Humanity.

How does it Feel to Starve and do we even Care to Know?

March 14, 2011 in World Exposed Blog

Investigating Starvation – How does it feel to Starve?  How does it Feel to Starve and do we even Care to Know?

How does it feel to starve? Have anyone of us ever asked ourselves that question and if not: Why? This article investigates these questions. It investigates the silent and secret resistance that most of us experience when it comes to a subject like starvation – a condition that more than 1 billion people are born into without any possible way of ever getting out. It investigates the problem from different angles and offers a Solution that brings the Perspective back to a Common Sense Re-education of all of us to start Caring for Real and Participate in bringing about Changes that is in Fact Best for All.

So how does it feel to Starve?

 How does it Feel to Starve and do we even Care to Know?Alouette Mayer writes: “What does it feel like to be hungry, really hungry, for many days? And many weeks? And longer. It’s easy to imagine the beginning symptoms like weakness, shakiness, irritability, fatigue. But what happens when those aren’t remedied by food? Is it painful when the organs begin shrinking as they do in starvation? It must be. And as the immune system loses force, how does one endure the cramping, combined with the weakness, combined with the lowering body temperature, combined with the overall bloating as the body retains fluid?”

Can you imagine yourself feeling that terrible? Now expand it to your family. Your daughter. Your tiny son whose tummy is distending and who cries with headaches. Your grandmother, coughing and scared and silent. What would it feel like to watch a toddler, your toddler, weaken and beg for what you can’t give? No running water, no toilets, huddled in refugee camps miles and miles long, And its getting cold. It’s going to get really, really cold and wet heavy snows are coming. And you’re so terribly hungry.

Imagine the stench and disgusting danger of raw sewage, of the infectious diarrhea that comes from that. And there are already dead bodies to be dragged away to be buried or burned by weak hungry men. How does a frail starving man dig a grave for his neighbor, his friend, or his tiny son? The nights must be endless, filled with prayers for a warm morning sun.”

All that Matters is food

That is unfathomable – except if you are one of those 1 billion people that actually are literally starving to death or one of the 2 billion living in extreme poverty. What I find when I look at it for myself is the word “desperation” – not even a single thought creeps into my mind because all I can think about is food. Maybe I don’t even know how much food actually exists in this world and believe that everyone lives the way I do, or I have seen food at the market, luxuriously prohibited and out of my reach. Maybe my village had food once, but a drought caused the animals and crops to die, so now we have no food. Or maybe I lost my parents to malaria and now have to live on the street begging for scraps and rotten food. Whatever the case: I am hungry.

All I know is that I am hungry. How does it Feel to Starve and do we even Care to Know? If I am able to, I drink water to fill the stomach and get some feeling of being full. I feel tired and drained, but I have to keep going and I look desperately everywhere for any sign of food anywhere. I look at the dogs running around and when we had a goat, it was difficult not to kill it, but we needed the milk more than we needed the meat. I keep looking for a way out, but there is no way out, so all I can do is survive.

In a documentary from Nigeria a woman talked about how it would be like to live in a Western country.  What she said was: “that would be nice because then I would not want to die”. Another documentary about North Korea, two men in their twenties, who had escaped the regime and was living in Soul, said that even though they had lived there for over two years, still all they thought about was food. For those of us who have been used to plentiful and endless access to food, it is unimaginable to conceive how it must be like to live your entire life, only thinking about food.

The Good Intentions of The West

In our Western and 1.World countries, it has become fashion that young people travel to third world countries and for example work as aid workers for Humanitarian Organizations, maybe out of the goodness of their heart or because it looks well on a resume to show that you are someone that cares. One blogger wrote about people travelling to third world countries: “I saw so many hungry and starving kids. It was unbelievable!”  This is a too common occurrence in the experience of people who visit Third World Countries and get shocked and in awe of the witnessing of Starving Children, and provides insight into how lucky the rest of us are to have high standards of living that are actually met.”

A question that brings itself to the forefront is whether we are actually lucky or if that is yet another word we have used to justify the fact that we are Equally Responsible for reproducing and recreating starvation and poverty? We know that people starve. We know the figures and the images of starving children. But do we see them as our neighbors, Equally Living Here on this planet or as spots of guilty conscience on our minds? Do people then go to third world countries, only to return with a feeling of relief that it is not them who are in the shoes of those that suffer?

 How does it Feel to Starve and do we even Care to Know?Google as indicator of Ignorance

If you Google the words: “How does it feel to starve?” you will be surprised to find that the first ten results are questions people have asked in regards to how it feels to starve to death – literally posed and categorized as “trivia questions” – as something people ask for fun or out of curiosity. There are articles about being anorexic or how to starve oneself to get the perfect looks. An example is an article called: “how can you starve yourself without slowing down your metabolism?” If we take Google as a representation of what we as people in the west are willing to consider and investigate in regards to starvation, this is what is revealed about us. We don’t care – even when we say we do, even when we sell and buy products with labels that say we do – we don’t care. Because otherwise we would do something about it. We don’t want to know what it feels like to Starve.

Starves Real Child to Feed Virtual Child

In 2008 there was an article in several newspapers about a Korean couple who starved their child to death, because they were busy raising a virtual child at the local internet café. The virtual child, called Anima in Latin ironically translates to: “A living Being”. How does it Feel to Starve and do we even Care to Know?

A police man later told the local media that: “The couple seemed to have lost their will to live a normal life because they didn’t have jobs and gave birth to a premature baby,” “They indulged themselves in the online game of raising a virtual character so as to escape from reality, which led to the death of their real baby.”

This situation is indicative for the current situation in this World, where people of the West are living in virtual realities of their Minds, while disregarding and neglecting the Physical entirely. And why? Because Reality is too hard to Face – because there is no hope anyway and so one might as well lose oneself in the endless layers of information and stimulation provided by The Mind as thought and feeling and manifested into Reality through games such as the one described above. Entertainment is nothing but the suppression of the Fear of not Surviving that is already dictating and directing our lives.  How does it Feel to Starve and do we even Care to Know?We might read this story and be appalled, but who of us has not gotten lost within the entertaining of our Minds?  What are people actually doing but watching television all night or being busy imagining their future lives? So many people live only for that which is created through and as the Mind, while the Physical is forced to tag along and live out our cravings, desires and nightmares. So this couple depict in brutal clarity the situation of what we have Allowed Ourselves to be and become: Consumed with fear and powerlessness, turning to virtual realities which we try to keep alive, while the Actual Physical Reality, as Who we are – Suffers.

The Hard Facts of Starvation  How does it Feel to Starve and do we even Care to Know?

In spite of the Fact that there is currently more than 1 billion people (every 6. Person on the planet) Starving – the world produces enough food to feed everyone.  World agriculture produces 17 percent more calories per person today than it did 30 years ago, despite a 70 percent population increase. This is enough to provide everyone in the world with at least 2,720 kilocalories (kcal) per person per day (FAO 2002, p.9).  The principal problem is that many people in the world do not have sufficient land to grow, or income to purchase, enough food.  (worldhunger.org)

What is the problem? And is there a Solution?

As stated above, the main cause of hunger is poverty and the main cause of poverty is the lack of money. Poverty is furthermore re-created and reproduced through generations, which means that virtually no one born into a country with extreme poverty has any chance of every getting out of the living hell that they are born into. This is all do to an extreme income inequality, where half the world’s population are literally carrying the other half like dead weight on their shoulders – and I am not talking about the rich carrying the poor, quite the contrary.

Patrick Bond writes: “The question as to who and what is responsible for African underdevelopment can be answered at two levels. Firstly, the answer is that the operation of the imperialist system bears major responsibility for African economic retardation by draining African wealth and by making it impossible to develop more rapidly the resources of the continent.”

 How does it Feel to Starve and do we even Care to Know?What are the consequences? – Inequality Placed into Perspective

Looking at the world as a whole, with a 6. Of the world’s population living in poverty and starvation it is obvious that it is not what is Best for All. But too often do we see the world as separated in smaller units that have no influence on each other. Placed into perspective we can use the following metaphor: Imagine a body. Imagine that as you eat and drink, you pull all nutrition from one limb such as the leg or an arm and instead only disperse nutrition into the rest of the body and primarily the head. Imagine having a leg or an arm, completely starved and sucked dry, the muscle issue deteriorating, the skin becoming thin, sensitive and you cannot stand the feeling of pressure or clothes against it. Imagine you dragging your leg after you because it has lost all its muscle mass and are no longer able to function. Imagine the bones of your arm breaking as easily as glass and while the rest of your body is in better condition, this limb is constantly filled with excruciating pain. This is basically what we are doing at this planet, where a 6. Of us are starving to death having exactly these experiences as described above. Now imagine the body being all warped with a big fat head, legs so skinny that they cannot stand and arms and hands worn from working all day.

If the Earth was a single Human physical body

If Earth was a Human Physical body, this is basically what we would look like. Would we be able to stand, walk or move? Probably not. It is unacceptable that people suffer when there is in fact enough food in the world, it shouldn’t matter that it is someone else and not us and only something we care about when we place ourselves in another’s shoes – because when one suffers, all suffers consequently. It is not someone else, in some other world, separate from us that suffer – what we do and how we live is directly influencing what is happening in other parts of the world.

The people that are starving have no possible way of changing their situation.  How does it Feel to Starve and do we even Care to Know?Their situation is caused by unequal distribution of resources and by our collective Acceptance of a money-system of inequality as the Directive Principle that is managing the world and everyone in it. How are we equally Participating in upholding and accepting these systems? By turning our backs on those Suffering, because we don’t Act. We either blame our governments, each other or ourselves, but that doesn’t in fact Change the situation – it only makes us feel powerless and from there we can again justify that we are not responsible. Imagine standing in front of a mother starving with a dying child. What do you think she will tell you? Do you think she will blame you or ask you to feel bad for her? Is the Solution to finish our meals or send our leftovers to Africa or Indonesia? No – none of this will change the situation, because the root of the problem is the entire world-system as a whole – a system that is based on our Acceptance of and daily participation in an unequal distribution of resources.

How can we Participate in Bringing about Change? 196355 1881591721196 1283404327 32160948 2729068 s How does it Feel to Starve and do we even Care to Know?

The systems with which we manage our world, determines the lives we live. The money-system does not exist by itself – it is managed and supported by Human Beings. This is why we propose an Equal Money System, because whether we can feel it or not, whether we can imagine ourselves in the shoes of those suffering or not: we are All Equally Here on this Earth and as such have an Equal Right to a Dignified Life.

It is imperative that each of us Face ourselves within Self-Honesty about how we are Participating in Allowing the world to exist the way it does – this is not easy as we have existed within separate mind-bubbles of Separation, Inferiority and Fear and in this not been able to See and Realize that we are Equally Responsible for what is Here.

desteni group of people exploring equality oneness principles How does it Feel to Starve and do we even Care to Know?Through The Desteni I Process we re-educate ourselves to Self-Honesty, Self-Responsibility and Self-Respect. We do this through some very simple tools that each can Apply for themselves, through Applying and Living the Common Sense of What is Best for All, bringing ourselves Back Here to Earth and out of the Separate Mind-Bubbles of Self-Interest, Denial and Fear. We do this through Supporting each other to keep it Real, To Realize Ourselves within and as the Whole – Standing together as All as One as Equals. Join The Process Towards World Equality – Support and Participate in bringing about an Equal Money System For The End of The Human Annihilation of Life – For The End of Suffering and Abuse and for Bringing Forth a Life that Cares for All Life Equally.

equal money system   equal money for all from birth to death2 How does it Feel to Starve and do we even Care to Know?

Plugin from the creators of Brindes Personalizados :: More at Plulz Wordpress Plugins