Feedback on the Desteni Europe meeting

July 9, 2010 in Anna's Process Blog

On the 1. Of July we had our second Desteni Europe meeting, held by Jozien in Amsterdam. (The first one was in May and was held by Cenk in Hamburg.)

I arrived on the June 30. I met up with Juraj in the airport. We had never met each other before, but it was easy to spot the other baldie in the crowd and we quickly found each other and took the train to Joziens house. The night we arrived we talked a lot. Jozien and I had met on the farm in South Africa and at the first meeting, but Juraj we had not met before and we talked about his experiences and his story before coming to Desteni. The next morning the others starting arriving, a few was from Holland like Martjin, Valerie, Reginald and Alex, but there were also Joao and Joana from Portugal who lives together in London, Christophe from Belgium and on Saturday Lana came from Germany with her boyfriend Paris, who was completely new to Desteni, the material and SRA.

Initially we had planned the meetings to be focused on discussing Equal Money, funding and political agendas, but already at the first meeting it was clear that sharing and supporting each other was more in focus and especially the SRA course, which most of us attending is currently in the process of participating in. In the first meeting there was a lot of talking, where people simply buzzed around, sharing their stories and supporting each other, wherever assistance was required. So before this meeting, Jozien and I had tried to come up with a way to make the meeting more structured by coming up with themes of discussion and a method for how we would discuss – that did not exactly work, as it seemed that most people burned to simply share themselves and as the meeting progressed, we focused more on SRA and Process Support than on discussing politics.

There was however unstructured discussions going on  about Equal Money, Politics and especially financial funding. It turned out that both Juraj and Paris were experienced in trading and stocks and they talked about the banking systems to the rest of us. There was also a meeting in the park with Reginald, Joao and Martijn where they specifically talked about Equal Money and Politics, while the rest of us were practicing SRA at Joziens house.  We had quite a lot of practice SRA sessions, where one would be facilitated with a priority point in their life  and one would facilitate, while a third took notes and assisted the facilitator. Some of them went smooth, fast and was very revealing and eye opening – I had an SRA session that was very supportive and that opened up a point for me in a way that surprised me a lot. Others did not go quite as smooth and we talked a lot about the procedures, ethics and techniques of practicing SRA.

In between these often very intense sessions and discussions, we ate, slept, did the dishes and went for walks as it was very hot outside. To me the meeting was very supportive. I got a lot of perspectives and assistance with the points I am facing and walking through, but the amount of talking and the intensity of it, was sometimes, almost too intense. Point after point after point opened up for me and the most practical way for me to deal with it, was to do practical stuff. So I cooked a lot and was surprised how easy and natural it was. I really enjoyed having my hands busy and making food for everyone, but I also started wondering about this, as this ‘housewife’ syndrome is something I’ve been facing for a long time. What is so odd, with something like this, is that it has been contradicting how I have seen and experienced myself. I used to hate cooking and never did it if I did not have to, but it has been laying latently waiting to be activated and when Jozien said that I was in the nest-making age, it made sense to me. It is strange how I’ve believed I could fight my programming or copying of my mother, only to discover that this behavior has creeped up on me in a most surprising way – that I cook, because I enjoy doing it. For a lot of people, including myself, the main points that opened up during the meeting, was related to sex and abuse – many of us had different experience with sexuality and abuse and it was cool to share our experiences so openly.  I am not sure how that became the main point for so many of us, but it was interesting to see that each one had their own story and experiences wherein sex, abuse and money had played a significant role. Emotions were released, tears were shed and several points came to closure or simply opening up. A point of secret desire opened up for me and I was shocked how easily it had been triggered and it was only when Martijn asked if I had forgiven the desire, that I realized that I had been secretively holding on to it, not having been willing to let go. That was quite a revelation and cool to finally face.

The meeting ended on Sunday and we talked about when the next meeting was going to be. Jozien said that she would host on a regular basis, but that every two months might be too much.  So we will see when and where in Europe the next meeting will be. The people attending the first meeting and this one was quite a different group although there were also some people attending both. But at both meetings there were people who were completely or relatively new to Desteni.

A lot of us had also never met before in person,  so I am looking forward to seeing everyone next time, being able to go deeper into the points of Support and working with SRA as well as maybe structuring the meetings more in specific directions. I do however find it very cool that we’re able to have people coming who are new to the material and that they after having been to the meeting have decided to ‘enlist’ for SRA training. Either way, I am grateful for the meeting and for seeing everyone there. It is an amazing environment to test yourself in, especially if you as I, live alone and don’t see many people on a daily basis or if you are alone in your process most of the time. We were able to face conflicts and matters that would have been taboo in other social gatherings in a way that was very supportive for everyone there. I got so much support to go home with and I look forward to many more meetings.