Feminist - Anna's Journey to Life

Embracing the Unknown: DAY 204

In this post I will be walking self-corrective and self-commitment statements in relation to the pattern of using negativity as a way (or as an attempted way) to control myself, my surroundings and the possible consequences I might face in my life. I am releasing myself from this pattern so that I can stop deliberately [...]

Saying NO to Feel in Control of Consequence: DAY 203

In this blog post, we are going to investigate negativity/the negative further and go deeper into the two definitions of negativity that I wrote about in the previous post. In this post we are therefore specifically investigating negativity as an adjective – the adjective being that which is ‘added’ to ‘who I am’ AS negativity. [...]

Filling Gaps by Digging Holes – My Relationship with Myself as Negativity: DAY 203

For the first time in a long time I don’t have anything in particular planned to write about. I have myself and a blank canvas before me. The plan was that I was going to continue writing about the relationship characters and dimensions, however in this blog I will be focusing specifically on my relationship [...]

Ride like Lightening, Crash like Thunder: DAY 202

In this post I will be prescribing self-corrective and self-commitment statements on my relationship to positivity and how I’ve accepted and allowed myself to make my participation and application dependent upon ‘how I feel’. The point of this is so that I can walk my days and apply myself without relying on energy , so [...]

2012 – The Dark Side of being a Modern Woman

February 25, 2012 in World Exposed Blog

In this article we are going to once again reveal a Dark Side of 2012, an emerging trend that at first glance appears to be positive, yet which in-fact exposes humanity’s true nature. We are here looking at what it means to be a modern woman.

“Class, race, sexuality, gender and all other categories by which we categorize and dismiss each other need to be excavated from the inside.” - Dorothy Allison

Countries like Sweden and Denmark are famous for being some of the most gender equal countries in the world, where the wage gap between men and women is the smallest and where women were the first to be sexually liberated and men take paternity leave. Lets have a look at a practical example of what the Scandinavian women have achieved in terms of gender equality:

A recent newspaper article[1] in a Danish paper exposed how female drivers are becoming more like men. Normally it is men that primarily get into traffic accidents and who drive while under the influence, but cases were more females drive hazardous is increasing.

While female drivers are often ridiculed as being bad drivers, what is in fact happening is that women have started to drive more like men, at least when it comes to speed.

John Schalets and Jesper Sølund from the traffic safety council in Denmark explains that “It gets more and more common to see female drunk drivers as the gender equality develops.” They furthermore expand that and say that:

“We have to act faster and more efficient in today’s society and as women get a stronger placement in the business community, it is not so odd that they get a traffic behavior that resembles the males. We will probably start seeing women driving in bigger cars that are stronger and more powerful.”

The gender ‘equality’ is here defined as women being able to do and act as men does and in this case it is the male way of driving hazardously that is considered a sign of liberation of the female.

Now – it is interesting that what is being equated as ‘equality’ is merely ‘being the same as’ while the fact that what is ‘valued’ within this ‘equality’ is completely overlooked.

So that women are becoming more like men is seen as a good thing, a liberating thing, whiles the fact that who they are becoming is irrelevant and ignored. This is however not a debate about who is best, men or women, but it is about the misconception about what equality is. ‘

Equality basically means ‘the same in value’ – but the important emphasis is on the entire paragraph, that the value is the same. In this context above the emphasis is merely placed on being ‘the same’, while the value of the equality women has ‘reached’ is disregarded.

Women drive faster because they need to be more like men, perhaps because they want to be more like men and it is clear that if they want to make it in the business world they have to drive fast to get to where they want to be in the world. They can’t care for such petty points as traffic and consideration of others in the traffic as that would merely slow them down. They need stronger and bigger cars so that they too can show off their wealth and status, exactly like the men does.

What values are implied here? And even more so, what exactly is it that is equal here? That we are all equal in being assholes? Is that a value in itself? That women are now able to be assholes too?

This is not even about men or women, but about the personality characteristics that have come to shape the definition of an effective and successful human being. This means that men are equally striving to become ‘a man’, a man that does whatever it takes to get the job done, a man that is willing to risk life and limbs for that career and this is how we measure the pinnacle of a successful life.

Why is it a good thing that women are driving more like men and consequently killing more people in traffic accidents? Is that the kind of ‘equality’ we want? Is that the equality women have been striving for? It appears so.

It seems like the classic bully in the school yard or the psychopath in the corner office have become the standard ideal for everyone to achieve, women and men alike.

Everyone wants to be the winner of the world, but those very few who actually stand in such positions of power, money and influence are doing so by standing on the backs of everyone else.

The capitalistic system in which we live is patriarchal from the perspective of it being values associated with being a male that is predominant. Males have learned generation after generation to march in tact as they walk firmly with a tunnel vision towards the ultimate goal of success, power and money. It is not who they really are and it is not who women really are either, but this ideal stereo type is what is dominating our societies. So as women become “liberated”, all they are liberated to is to be and act like men and first and foremost: make money.

In the course of what has been called the “liberation of women”, women were told that they in their newfound freedom would be able to live independently and live the live they choose. They can get abortions, be CEO’s or whatever they want to, as long as they remain within the ideal of what a real man either wants or is.

Traditional female features such as ‘empathy’ and ‘care’ are in equivalent of positions in the job market, still the lowest paying jobs. Mothers that work at home in making food and cleaning AFTER coming home from their job as CEO’s or lawyers or politicians, are still not getting paid or even credited for their double labor. Instead one is expected and is expecting of oneself, to be able to do it all, all at once.

It is a race to the finish line of a perfect career, body, house, kids and husband and the real truth is that that life doesn’t exist, for anyone. It simply doesn’t exist. A modern woman is thus a man – and not even that, is the projection of the characteristics of what a man supposedly is.

If equality means “the same in value” it is the value that determines what that equality is. What this means is that we require reconsidering what it is we have given value as being that all should be the same as.

The ‘equality’ as same-in-valueness that is presented in the patriarchal system in is predomination of the world is what creates wars, hunger, rape, porn and deceptive politics. It is through this that we as humans allow ourselves to justify why we are depleting the world of its resources and nurture and why we are forcing extinction on the animals.

It is not an equality that is best for all life. What is best for all life has nothing to do with gender. And if we as women (and men) SEE that a change is required in humanity and as such in ourselves to what is best for all, we got to stop trying to become like men, as they are presented in the world and start trusting ourselves to actually live in a way that is best for all.

In this text by Jack an extended perspective is given as support for why women have tried to become like men, showing the redundancy of that and that this is definitely not what equality is about.

“Soon after the creation of man, women were told that men were the ‘stronger sex’. They appeared more muscular, athletic and well put together, able to do physical task with ease. Now millions of years later we have the most fascinating manifestations within the role of the woman coming forward. Firstly I would like to congratulate woman on behaving as if men have power over them, when in actuality nobody does.

I realize that you have been taught from a young age to bow down to men, but is it really who you are? Are you equality or are you slaves? So what I see when I look at woman has been my endless point of amusement for the last couple of weeks as I seek to understand what it is you’re doing.

Many women are currently busy with the application and manifestation of greed. Once men are out of the way a woman will steamroll others in her path to ‘get to the top’. This of course is my reference to the working class lady who has taken the micky out of dominating the work force, done by steam rolling everybody that dares put a foot in their direction.

Men understand that woman rule all over the capitalist work place and are dearly missing the days when their rule was final. Women are currently seizing everything from the ego that they perceive was taken from them when woman were enslaved to their rightful place at the top of every large industry. However, I laugh only due to how ridiculous it still makes you all feel. I look inside any power hungry woman and all I see is actual embarrassment. Some might even say that woman was never driven to become this, yet hundreds of years later woman are standing up to their enslavement yet it is not able to be further from who you are.

I understand that women are directing themselves, yet what is currently playing out is the overcompensation because no middle ground is seen, creating suppression of self. I will not tell you what your middle ground is, rather how you are able to direct yourself. Are you at least aware in your actions that you’re overcompensating from being submissive to over assertive? Nothing wrong with standing up as who you are and directing yourself, what I am talking about is when you realise that the only way to get some ‘respect’ is to force it down people’s throats.

Manifested behaviours exist within these women such as dominance and career driven obsessions. Manifestations of physicality’s such as enlarged muscles depicting strength, larger body shapes to ‘match’ that of the male build, more upright body posture to ensure the image of worth, and the list goes on. However tough this world may appear there does remain one basic understanding for us all.

Who you are, is direction, flow, participation, creation in every moment not because you’re molding yourself to the corporate image but rather because in essence you remain, therefore your likeness is not determined by male dominance or how you respond. Forgiveness here would give you the opportunity to realise who you are and assist you to ‘re-connect’ with yourself and understanding where you have compromised yourself. Realise you are feminine , as much as you are strength.”

Further perspectives are giving here on the male ego, the female ego and how “women’s liberation” is impulsed into our lives as a form of self-deception.

Join Desteni as we embark on the journey to discover what Self-Expression is in fact, when gender inequality is taken out of the equation of what equal value is – equal value as life, one and equal.

Investigate an Equal Money System – the first and only political initiative in the world that stands for what is in fact Best for All Life

“Everybody counts in applying democracy. And there will never be a true democracy until every responsible and law-abiding adult in it, without regard to race, sex, color or creed has his or her own inalienable and unpurchasable voice in government.” – Carrie Chapman Catt.

[1] http://politiken.dk/indland/ECE1546458/kvindelige-bilister-bliver-mere-og-mere-maskuline/

Tags: Desteni2012, Destonians, Equal Money System, Equality, Female, Female Drivers, Feminist, Gender Equality, Men, Women, Women Liberation
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Woman Who Hates Women That Hates Men (OR: Why I am becoming a Feminist) – PART 1

I grew up surrounded by women who hated men. Perhaps they did not all hate men, all of them, all the time, but a lot of them did. They also loved them… a lot – sometimes too much. It was an ironic dichotomy that I did not quite understand as a child. These women that I grew up with, had been part of “the movement” in the 70s and had experienced the restraint and limits of growing up in the shadow of fathers, brothers and male teachers.

They often had experienced and how they were taught to be ashamed of their sexuality, sit with their legs crossed and not send out the wrong signals. By the time they’ve reached their twenties, they were pissed off angry. So they became pissed off angry at the men and either directed their anger that way or towards the symbol of “the man” – the capitalistic system of inequality. The women had sex and relationships once in a while. Some of them became lesbians, out of shear spite of males.

In the relationships they did have with men, often the men was cheating as much as possible, drinking too much, wining too much or becoming violent, so most of the time, the women were alone. They hated their jobs as well ironically, many of them worked as some form of child-caretakers, in a daycare center or at a school – and I guess they felt pretty pissed on by life. I remember how they came home, tired, with creasy hair and long heavy breasts under their sweaty shirts, as the last sad remaining symbol of their victorious bra-burning that had marked the beginning of the end of their oppression.

Their rebellion against the system, the authorities and against men had not paid off and they were now in exactly the same position they fought to get out of: underpaid and unappreciated housewives and mothers, often without a man as support, with full time jobs being single parents, bitter and broken.

When they sat around the table at night, drinking red wine, the woman often talked about their youth, about feminism, and how women should stand up for themselves with pride in their voices. What I saw, as a little girl sitting there, with dangling feet at the edge of the chair, was people that were angry, tired and desperate and that was not the life I wanted.

It was not because the men around me, had more happy lives, but they did seem freer. They could come and go as they wanted, they laughed more often, they did not look as burdened as the women did. Often the men also moved on and created new families with younger women and had new children and they seemed to be able to simply brush off the past as were it a flick of dust and walk on as though nothing had happened. They looked invincible from that perspective, or at the very least; not as miserable as the women did.

Lately as I’ve been taking my daily walks around the neighborhood, I walk by these houses, these expensive houses with fancy cars in the driveway. I’ve looked in through the windows and seen beautiful women and men with beautiful children eating dinner and I’ve caught myself desiring to be them because in the mind’s eye, these people have the perfect life. They are happy, they don’t sweat.

One day as I walked by one of these houses, I started realizing for myself that what I was seeing was not happiness, but money. Everything that I saw, all the happiness that were “shinning through” the windows of these perfect houses, was bought and sold for money. Some had bought a rustic happiness that gave associations with childhood visits to the countryside; others had bought New Yorker chic happiness with steel and raw concrete as their portrait designed happiness. I realized that I had not the faintest idea what went on in those houses, as all I saw was an illusion of happiness, created and facilitated through glossy magazines and commercials on TV as the contrast to what I saw as a child, where the adults did not have any money and were miserable because of it.

The problems of this world are not at the fault of men or women. That is too easy. It is however a system of inequality, of abuse, ego and deception that we’ve allowed to be the directive principle that manages all our lives – from politics to economy and relationships. And as it is, to a large extend, males have been the ones in the frontline of the business of inequality. There is however no doubt that we’ve all contributed, participated and played along in this tragic masquerade, where some have power so that others have not and where some have money so that others have not.

What I saw growing up, was not an unfair and uneven relationship between men and women – or it was that as well – however the point is that all and everything is facilitated and dictated by our submission to money. Money is the remedy with which we abuse and control each other. And everyone accepts it or has no choice but to accept it, within the belief that happiness and fulfillment can only be achieved through money – that money does in fact make one happy, successful and achieved.

I had never thought that I would ever declare myself a feminist, exactly because of my upbringing of seeing these women as everything I certainly did NOT want to be anything like. The stories here has now interwoven, from where I started with sharing why I am slowly becoming a feminist, but not a feminist as in a woman that despises men, but as a human being realizing that the current capitalist and patriarchal system is only in support of more of itself in a complete irrational frenzy of greed, power and self-delusion and that to stop it – we require an entire new way of managing our lives and ourselves, a way where women are standing up – and men – to not accept or allow ourselves to continue existing this way without any regard for life whatsoever.

Therefore – I am here to re-educate myself to become a trustworthy and dignified Human Being, with whatever means and measures it takes. Then it doesn’t matter who is woman or man or what is the cause – as long as we dedicate ourselves to changing what is Here, one step at a time.

I do not wish to live the life of the women I grew up around, hating their lives and the men they blamed for their position. I do not wish my children to live the life of me as I have – therefore – to change the future for our children, there is only one way possible: to change what is Here as ourselves, in each breath of self-compromise or self-judgment – to Stop and Stand up. In each breath, where we make excuses or justify why we only care about ourselves – to Stop and Stand up. In each breath of lying to ourselves or each other about what is here or how we really experience ourselves – to Stop and Stand up.

I am participating in The Desteni I Process, specifically to re-educate myself to Care about Life – to Live Self-Honestly, to Forgive myself for what I have Accepted and Allowed myself to exist in and as – what I have Accepted and Allowed in and as this World, to step by step, breath by breath – Stand up and Live Dignified and Equalified. That is my goal in Life. What’s yours?