2012 – How I was able to hear the Desteni Message

January 27, 2012 in Anna's Process Blog, Uncategorized

I heard the message of Desteni because I had no other choice.  I was fucked. I was at a literal dead end in my life where I could not move or go further. I had been practicing spirituality for some years along with various personal development techniques. And in my mind, I was doing this out of a noble purpose of saving humanity and the planet, but really it was because I was trying to simultaneously save and escape from myself.

As most people, I had since I was a child been running and hiding from myself, thrusting myself into the future every time I faced a point that was emotionally painful or difficult, as a self-made survival mechanism to not have to face myself and my actual experience of and as myself. But no matter what I did, I kept catching up with myself. It felt like I had tried EVERYTHING.

Eventually I got (conveniently) convinced that it was my personality and physical body that was the problem along with the world-system and I believed that I had to purify myself, by removing myself from everything that was of “low energy” so that I could raise up to the occasion of ascending myself into the higher realms of which I had absolutely no idea, but which I imagined would be a hell of a lot better than my old fucking self.

So I tried everything to get rid of myself and no matter what I did, I just kept coming back. I tried meditation and I did also have some of those “extraordinary” experiences that make us (conveniently) believe that we are special and chosen and that if we just wait long enough, we will be beamed up to some unknown place of rainbows and eternal sunshine. I dried getting Deekshs that are these blessings given to you by someone that has been enlightened to “oneness” by Amma, a self-proclaimed Indian avatar, every Tuesday. I followed a global ascension group that had its own channeler and was close to travel with them around the world, but eventually I ended up in a group that used psychedelics to transcend. After inner journeys on mushrooms, acid, DMT trips and Ayahuasca, I kept having the same “realization” that we are all one. But no matter how many times I “realized” this, I could not make it real for myself. I could not make myself really One with everything at a physical and fundamental level. I kept experiencing fears and desires and judgments and I kept judging myself and no matter how many visualizations I did and even as I removed myself from the system by selling all my stuff and moving into a wooden caravan, I could not get rid of me.

So one day, I felt frustrated and confused that no matter what I did, I did not seem to move anywhere. All I wanted was to go into the woods and transform myself to a bird and fly away. So I took stock of all the things I had participated in throughout my process since I was 15 and had started the process of what I believed to be my spiritual ascension. I looked at all the techniques and books and crystals and seminars that I had invested in, all the groups and friends and lovers I had talked with for hours and I asked myself: out of all this, what is the one point that has ever made me accelerate the most?

And when I looked back at my time-line, there was only one point that stood out. When I was around 16, I had made the decision for myself to be 100% honest with myself and not allow myself to have any taboos or secrets inside myself. And this – this single decision by a teenager was the one thing that I could see had fundamentally changed me. I was in absolute shock. Here I had spent years searching for the truth, buying all these solutions that never lasted and where I always came back to my old shitty self, no matter how good I tried to be or how enlightened I envisioned myself as. And in the end, simple Self-Honesty that I myself had generated in a moment I had never thought about since was THE one point that I had changed myself through.

So from that day, I decided that from now on, I would walk my own self-honesty. Obviously as for most humans, most of my time went with conjuring up lies and self-deception in my mind, but I was not aware of that at the time, all I knew was that I had found a connection to myself again, but the self that I had connected to, was broken, confused and feeling totally and utterly lost.

All my beliefs had been shattered and all I had to fall back on was spirituality. Because I was sure as hell not going to participate “in the system”, which I blamed for everything that was wrong with me and the world. So I had my back up against the wall. I started to see how fake my environment was, how fake the partying and activism was, how fake my relationship was and how broken I and everything around me was.

One day I was babysitting two of my friends, who were on two different drugs tripping out, one on one bed and the other on another bed. I was merely there to make sure that nothing went wrong. That night I saw and browsed YouTube for the 108th time for DNA activation and ascension videos, ANYTHING that could give me a clue as to what the fuck was going on and how the fuck I could change myself. And I saw the thumbnail of the blond girl, that thumbnail that I had browsed over many times, but never been really interested in seeing, because I thought it had to do with aliens and conspiracy theories which I thought was stupid (lol – while DNA activation was clearly not).

But I was tired of browsing all these videos that I had seen 100 times before, so I clicked on a video called “I was an alien killed on earth” – and from that moment on, my entire life was changed. There was not a shadow in my mind that this was real, that this being is telling it like it is and it was like taking a shower for the first time in 50 years. I was cleansing, fresh and I felt cleaned by it. It spoke directly, no bullshit vague romance shit and it was scary-as-hell-in-your-face and it was exactly matching that realization I had had about self-honesty – that the most important thing to do here, is to be 100 % self-honest. That is how you stop this fucking Paris wheel from spinning.

And what Desteni said, what no one ever had said to me in my entire life was: you are responsible for this. It is because of you and who and how you have allowed yourself to exist that the world is what it is, why you are who you are.

You are responsible.

And it was a shock, but it was also an experience of coming home – coming home to reality – for the first time in my entire life, there would be no more secrets, everything finally made sense, no more mysteries, no more myths or fairytales – all would be revealed – by and as myself.

That night I did not sleep. I watched maybe 40 Desteni videos and when my friends woke up, I felt completely and utterly transformed. On one hand it was like I had no ground under my feet and was floating above the ground, but on the other I felt grounded more so than ever before. And from there I started walking, watching the videos, reading the articles on the website and quickly joined the forum where I was introduced to Self-Forgiveness.

I started realizing that I COULD change myself, but that I had in fact prevented myself to – simply because I did not want to face myself, I was shit scared of facing myself after having been hiding from myself for so many years – and as such, because I did not take self-responsibility for myself, I could not change – because all I was, was a puppet, an organic robot, existing to feed the mind.  So now I am walking the Desteni I Process, where I start understanding how I have created myself, so that I can stop, stand up and change – it is really THAT simple. The only catch is that we have to do it ourselves. No one can be Self-Honest for me.

195914 175698935814156 175698322480884 466911 7893385 n 2012   How I was able to hear the Desteni MessageThe reason why I listened to Desteni was primarily because Sunette, who I at the time knew as “that blond girl”, constantly popped up on my screen. She was there and she would not go away and she would keep popping up until would Dare to listen. And that is what Desteni is here for. That is why we are Destonians. I am grateful for all the Destonians that have walked before me and that are Walking-with, making sure that the message gets out to all corners of the world, for all beings to have the opportunity to stand up and to get the support and assistance that we have been given and that we are giving each other on a daily basis.

We’ve got a story to tell and it is about all of us, you included and how we have separated ourselves to such an extent from ourselves, that we have created a reality for ourselves of utter brutality, evil and abuse. The mind, to which we have abdicated ourselves exist as an entire system of self-defense, defending that part of ourselves that is fear of losing – and that part will do, say, be, become, feel, kill, fuck anything and anyone to get what it want, because that is all it exists as, all it can ever be.
So it is up to us, to SEE ourselves, to DARE to LISTEN, to FACE ourselves – and to stand up within and as the self-responsibility that WE are the CREATORS of this WORLD, this reality and ourselves. And nothing will change or go away – until we change ourselves.

So if you dare to be self-honest, you can give not only yourself, but all of humanity a gift of a life-time. To change what is here once and for all.

At Desteni – we are going to be in your face, every day humanity, from here on out, until we stop, stand up and change.

We are going to keep popping up, until each and every single human being starts listening.

Because only when all walk together as equal, can we stand as One.

Walk with Desteni – We are not going to walk away.

My name is Anna Brix Thomsen and I am Destonian.

Why it is Impossible to Be A Good Person and Do The Right Thing

January 13, 2011 in World Exposed Blog

 Why it is Impossible to Be A Good Person and Do The Right Thing

Morality – Has it ever occurred to you how difficult it is to be a good person? In fact it seems that even the best people amongst us, cannot be good all the time – how many times have we not heard of priests, ministers, politicians or soccer moms, whom everyone around them, saw as the best people of their community; giving, loyal, honest, selfless and hardworking – who turned out to be sexual predators, tax evaders or drug abusers? Who were leading their perfect life, with perfect marks, perfect children, degrees, gardens and characters and in secret living a shady life of porn, abuse or addiction? I have realized something for myself: It is not possible to be good all the time. It is not possible to be the model citizen, the perfect mom, a good person. Why? Because ‘good’ is a polarity – the polarity of ‘bad’ and as such the balance will always tip from one end to the other. It might take years or months, we might be living both the good and the bad at the same time, exerting the good to the public, shamefully or spitefully keeping the bad hidden – but it is there.

I Realized that it is not possible to be good, without also being bad – and that no matter how good deeds I would do, how much I would try to redeem and clean myself from the bad, it was not possible – because inevitably the balance would tip and I would find myself doing or saying exactly that I had been fighting and trying to keep away. This explains why these seemingly good people, after years of being law abiding citizens, suddenly go on a killing spree or leave their family: because the good requires an equal bad to balance itself – and we, we are caught in the middle constantly having to keep the bad away, doing our duties, while thinking about the teenage daughter next door or just another glass of red wine. So if bad follows good in an infinite balance that seems to be as accurate as a law of physics, can we actually say that there is such a thing as being a good person?

I discovered for myself that being a good person, that doing the right thing, made me feel good and that this was the primary reason for why I tried to be a good person – because it made me feel good, it made me feel better about myself – When the balanced tipped and I then did what I considered bad, I felt bad, or even reversed, felt constrained by the good and liberated by embracing the bad.

This world as we collectively participate in it and portray it, through our movies, news and public life, confirms for ourselves that the world is good, that we are good – that there is something inherently or at least possibly good underneath it all. To this we give our hope, our faith, our donations to churches and charity organizations, to show and prove to ourselves that we are capable of treating each other with dignity and respect. I discovered for myself that I would do anything to feel good, to feel like a good person – I would follow any leader that told me that what they were promoting was in the name of the good – I dreaded the feeling of being a bad person. But no matter what I did, what I sacrificed or desperately wanted to be true, the bad kept luring in the shadows as a monster that I could not rid myself of. I tried everything, from meditation and anti-materialism, to positive affirmations and vegetarianism. I was deeply committed and truly believed that this time, each time, I would succeed. And in these states of ‘purity’ and cleansing myself of the blood of humanity’s humanity, I felt better than those who did not participate; the meat eaters, the shoppers, the unfaithful – I felt that I was finally raised above these savages, above the savage in myself, and I would feel surged with energy and motivation to do the right thing. Not long would pass and I would get bored, my motivation would drop and soon I would find myself in secret stealing bacon from the kitchen or buying a gossip magazine. For a while, I could block these misbehavings out and pretend like it was not me or say to myself that it was only a moment of weakness and that I would re-commit myself even more firmly to my vows. I remember as a child, praying to God for something to occur, to be saved from a situation and promising that if God would hear my prayer and give me what I wanted, I would stop being bad, I would commit myself to his work. There is no doubt that there are many monks and missionaries out there, who are in this exact position, because they have done the same. But if it is impossible to be good, because good and bad exists in a balance, what are we actually doing? And can this explain why the world exists as it does, of haves and have-nots, of people speaking good, while acting bad, of people who after years of faithful service to gods, wife’s, husband’s or governments, suddenly in a surge of energy, turn bad?

The next question is then what happens is we stop trying to be good? Many would say that the world would run amok, that Suffering would increase, that not having moral standards would legitimize people to do what they wanted; to shoot each other or steal from each other, without remorse. But if we look at the world as it exists in its figures and numbers and digits – is this not already what we are doing? Is this not what we have always done? And if the truth behind why we so desperately want to do the right thing, is that it makes us feel better, how can morality be legit? What if we take both good and bad, right and wrong, out of the equation? Then we are left with the World as it is – no reason, no meaning, no purpose – simply they way we have Accepted Ourselves to Exist and the question of if we are going to keep Accepting Ourselves to Exist like this?

Right and wrong, good and bad are implied through there already being a moral standard, already being a source – whether that is Adam and Eve, God and Satan or The Evolution of Human Consciousness and the ability to make rational and altruistic decisions. But if we look at the World as it exists in its digits and numbers of money spent on war, child deaths and financial inequality, it is evident that it cannot simply be explained through the belief in right and wrong or good and bad. Our laws are not protecting us, our faith and beliefs is not making us compassionate or loving towards our neighbors. Our prisons are not rehabilitating its convicts and the news does not show what is really going on. In our public lives on the streets, supermarkets and at our jobs, we are bullying each other, fighting to get ahead in the line, being consumed by road rage or thinking about having sex with every woman we see. Still we pretend like there is order and civility, while underneath, in our Secret Minds, we only Care about Ourselves. Many people will say that this is not so – That they Care. But if we look at the state of the World, and what we, as citizens, parents, corporations and governments are doing about it, the answer is evident.

Therefore we require of ourselves to bring about new Solutions that does not depend on hope or on a seemingly inherent dormant ability to do the right thing or to be a good person – By holding onto this, in ourselves, towards each other and our children, we are Deceiving ourselves. Therefore we require to Face ourselves, Self-Honestly, Directly, Straight Forward, even though we know that we are not gonna like what we See. And then we require of ourselves to reconsider what we are doing and what the Actual Starting-Point is, for our Participation within and as this World – not the Starting-Point that we’d like to believe we are coming from – and in this, we require to Consider the possible Solutions for Sorting our this Mess that we have Accepted and Allowed Ourselves to be and become. In this, there is no pointing fingers, blaming or pushing the Responsibility away – because each of us, even though that might require some Self-Honest Self-Investigation, are Equally a part of the Creation and Acceptance of this World as it Exists.

Then we can Finally Decide to Live according to Principles of Common Sense, wherein We Realize, that What is Best for All, at a mathematical, physical and practical level, is Best for us to. And finally rational decisions can be made, sustainable Solutions can be developed and Politics and legislation can be used to implement these Solutions. This is what we are doing at Desteni and with the Equal Money System – Because we have Realized that morality is not inherent, that good is an equivalent of bad and that the purpose of doing the right thing and being a good person, is about the energetical surge of feeling good and avoiding Facing Ourselves in taking Self-Responsibility for and as this World. Thus we require to literally Change Ourselves, the nature of ourselves that we have taken for granted and to, both within and without re-educate ourselves and Change the Principles upon which we Govern this World and Ourselves in and as it. It is simplistic to Participate – all it requires is for us to Push Ourselves to be Self-Honest, even when we do not like what we See and to, within that, make the Decision to Live differently, to Live according to What is Best for All.

Lets Sort Out this mess that we have become and Live in a way where Life is Actually Valued and where we do not have to Fear each other or what is inside us, because we have taken Self-Responsibility and re-educated Ourselves to Live according to Principles that can Stand the Test of Time and not energy, beliefs or emotions that weaver and fall and in which we are Separated and Distanced from Ourselves and Each other. Join Desteni, The Desteni ‘I’ Process for Personal Re-Education to Self-Responsibility and Accountability and Join the Equal Money Movement to Create an Equality System of Economics and Politics, that will Give Each and Everyone and Chance to Live without fighting to Survive, without trying to do and be good and never Actually Succeeding.

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