Pure Evil Gone Goodie-Two-Faced

March 7, 2013 in Anna's Journey to Life

In this blog we’re continuing looking at the pattern I described in the previous blogs on how I’d react with an intense energetic experience in situations where I’d experience and perceive another human being as doing something that is principally unacceptable (such as pulling the legs off a spider) and where I’d experience that I have to stand up to the person and then the reaction comes when or if they don’t follow my instructions through which I’d perceive them as disregarding what I’m saying deliberately and from there I’d go into a state of panic and desperation and now also a form of rage and blame and anger projected towards the other person. But in my childhood, in the original memory with the spiders, I did not experience an extensive energetic experience of anger – I do remember being angry – but it is more like the anger responses I’ve stepped into later in life are more responses to that first memory where I didn’t’ do anything. What’s interesting is that I’ve been experiencing resistance to writing this point out and I see that it’s because there’s a positive self-definition of self-righteousness that I’ve held onto in terms of seeing myself as a hero only wanting to do good. What I had not faced was the origin point behind the memory which was facing myself as pure evil, as deliberate cruelty and disregard that I then saw reflected in the boys pulling the legs off the spiders. So in yesterday’s blog I realized that the pattern is originated in the following two points:

1) I get angry because I am confronted with my own evil and then push it away in another – try and suppress it in another, because that’s what I’ve done in myself

2) I get angry because I feel powerless and desperate towards directing the situation that I see is unacceptable based on the original memory of giving up and giving in when faced with the boys in how I took the situation personally and went into fear and survival mode

So these are the points I will be releasing and standing up from and within through self-forgiveness and self-corrective application and I will bring them back to my current life in terms of practically scripting a solution for myself as a corrective application of change.

For context, here are the previous blog posts in the series:

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to resist writing out this point because I did not want to let go of my self-definition I’ve created of myself as being a hero and as being self-righteous in my anger in how I’ve perceived myself as justified in getting angry if another does something that I see is unacceptable, when in fact what I did within and as that was to justify blame towards another and as such I resisted admitted that I am actually responsible for the situation in how I react to my interpretation of the other person’s actions because I see myself in them

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to see, define and perceive myself as righteous in getting angry at another that I perceive as having done something unacceptable and as such I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to justify blaming another and thus abdicating my own self-responsibility for creating the situation in projecting blame onto another and thus hold them responsible

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to when and as I see what I perceive to be another doing something principally unacceptable to become angry and to justify my reaction on anger through blaming the other person instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that my reaction of anger has nothing to do with the other person but it is a reaction I’m manifesting through reflecting myself back to myself through my interpretation of the other person

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to hide my true nature behind moral righteousness and justification and blame through which I’ve used another as a scapegoat to separate myself from the evil inside and as me and to suppress the evil inside and as me, through suppressing it inside another

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear that I am being tainted with malevolence if, when and as I perceive another to be acting in a way that is compromised or corrupted, just like I did with the spiders as a child, where I for a slight moment felt tempted to pull the legs of the spiders and was scared with what I saw in and as myself as I clearly saw that it was wrong and so I blamed and judged the boys for being a bad influence and believed I had to stop them and within that created a positive hero-type character instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that the evil I feared being tainted by is already within me and has already corrupted me to the core – which is ironically why I pushed it away in another because I refused to face myself as that evil – specifically because I feared the consequences of admitting that evil to and as myself

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to as I was told by adults to say I was sorry, to develop a split inside myself – a double split – where I split the side of myself that I showed others where I pretended that I was sorry even though I was really not just to not get into trouble while I actually did not care and as such also split myself inside myself as I realized that I did not care and since everyone else was talking about being sorry, I started blaming myself and judging myself for not caring through which I formulated a second split where I hid the point of not actually caring from myself and instead immersed myself in the caring personality as I saw in precise calculated clarity that life would be easier if I played nice – but knowing that my core was corrupted fucked me up because it was like a dark inner secret that no one could ever know about since I perceived everyone else as ‘good people’.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to develop a relationship to the expression of anger and rage based on having seen adults expressing anger and rage in situations in order to direct the situation where I’ve deliberately manifested an energetic experience of anger in an attempt to direct a situation if or when I perceive another as being obstructive towards the direction given – but within this I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that because my initial starting-point is fear and the memory of when I was a child and gave up because I feared the boys and wanted them to be my friends and not my enemies, I had already conditioned myself to not stand in the face of abuse or unacceptable behavior

(In my next post, I’ll continue with self-corrective statements)

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Tags: abuse, Anger, Blame, Experience, fear, Forgiveness, Perception, Spider
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Cruel Kids Killing Spiders as a Mirror of Myself: DAY 182

March 6, 2013 in Anna's Journey to Life

In this blog post I will begin walking the self-forgiveness on the memory that I wrote out yesterday about the situation with the boys picking the legs of the spiders and me experiencing myself confronted by them and then caving in and not standing up. I’ll also investigate the memory further. I’ve looked further at this point today in trying to see if I could see more memories where I’d experienced this same experience, but the only other memory that popped up was one from when I was around 18 when a boy called another girl a whore and I completely went off on him in a fit of rage and desperation. And so it is quite similar to how I often experience myself now, where I go into a full-on state of panic if I experience and perceive that another is not listening to me if I share something with them that is principled and important or that they laugh – basically it is if I experience and perceive that they deliberately disregard what I’m saying and I can’t do anything about it and therefore a point/being or myself will be compromised because of it.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to, when I saw the boys taking the legs of the spiders to experience fear that the spiders were in pain and therefore experienced urgency within myself in terms of getting the boys to stop pulling the legs of the spiders, but where I took it personally and made it more about ME being the one who had to get them to stop and THEY being the ones who did not stop instead of focusing on the fact that it is not cool to pull the legs off of spiders no matter what.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to, based on this spider incident where I clearly saw that I had to stand up but where I felt I couldn’t create a distrust and doubt towards myself where, whenever I have been faced with a similar situation it was like I was energetically back in the spider situation and as such I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to develop a counter tactic of going into a state of rage and blame towards the other that I then act out to at least feel better about myself in having done something, as though this rage and anger is the same as standing up to abuse when in fact it is not – but that’s the suppressed anger I experienced towards the boys pulling legs of spiders

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to feel tempted and to experience a desire to pull the legs of the spiders and within this recoil within myself in being facing with my own indifferent cruelty as I realized that pulling the legs off of spiders had absolutely no purpose and as such the fear I experienced was towards myself as I saw myself in the boys and I saw a part of myself that I did not like and I judged myself as that point and I feared it and as such I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to project my own fear of myself and my own judgment of myself onto others – and as such in that moment separate myself from myself as the source and origin of my experience and blame it onto another and so abdicate self-responsibility

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to reject myself and refuse to face myself as the point of pointless deliberate cruelty as I saw in the boys and experienced a slight desire towards participating in and I forgive myself that I then accepted and allowed myself to create a moral righteousness inside myself as a buffer to the pointless cruelty of then feeling appalled and angry at the abuse I saw, when that in fact really actually was a separation tactic in terms of using the judgment to separate myself from the abuse and from myself as an abuser

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to go into an automated state of panic when I perceive that another is deliberately disregarding the common sense I am showing them to stop abuse actually because I fear that if they don’t stop, I might not be able to stop myself and then I will participate in what they’re doing and I can clearly see that it’s abusive and since I’ve judged that as bad, I instead push it away and thus push the abuser away if they don’t immediately correct themselves according to the instructions I’ve given them of correction

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to experience a resistance towards writing out in self-forgiveness that I am not a victim of foul play or a victim at all and to admit that I might not be righteous because I’ve had such a positive self-definition based on this pattern because I was the one who wanted to save the spiders, I was feeling for the spiders = I am good.

I realize just now that this spider memory might actually be in connection to another memory. Because one time I hit a younger child and I’m quite sure it was before the spider point. I hit her for absolutely no good reason; I think she did not do as I wanted her to in a play or something. So I hit her and she started to cry. Then I deliberately made fun to get her to laugh and stop crying and to under no circumstances tell the adults on me. That was the only point I saw. I feared being told off by the adults. I knew it was wrong according to what the adults say, but I experienced absolutely no real remorse. And so what I see now is that perhaps the spider memory had something to do with this. Another memory from kindergarten is where I was jealous at my friend because he had food I liked, he had yoghurt and I only had bread with herbs, so I took some of my herbs and put it in his yoghurt as revenge – I think after I’d asked if I could have his yoghurt and he said no – and so he started to cry and the adults yelled at me and put me outside the door. It was the one of only two times I experienced being put outside the door and I remember that I was absolutely shocked and thought it was very unfair.

What I mean to say is that what these three memories have in common is something about the development of morality and what is okay and what is not okay. And I see how I reacted to my own doings in those two memories, where I experienced guilt and shame for what I had done. And so in the spider memory I was faced with the true nature of who I’d been in the other memories of not caring about another. So there are actually several dimensions of the point.

To assist and support myself in being specific, I’ll write them out here:

1) I reacted to the boys pulling the legs of the spiders because I within that was facing a part of myself that I was pushing away and did not want to face myself as

2) I experienced fear of standing up to the boys in reacting to them and fearing them in how I perceived them as indifferent

In my next post I will continue with self-forgiveness statements on these specific points in the memory and then also continue with bringing these points back up to the experiences I’m having today.

Thanks for walking with!

Cruel Kids Killing Spiders as a Mirror of Myself: DAY 182

Tags: abuse, Anger, Experience, fear, Forgiveness, Memory, Physical body, Spider
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Becoming a Person of Integrity: DAY 102

September 3, 2012 in Anna's Journey to Life

What is integrity? How do we become Human Beings who stand within Integrity and Self-Trust? Why are we so Easily Corrupted? Who will we be without Fear?

This is a continuation to: Commitment as Directive Decision to Change: DAY 101

When and as I see that I am accessing and participating in a character of not caring about and not wanting to change myself – I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here.

I see, realize and understand that the reason I have not changed is because I have made the decision to NOT change as who and what I am – as that which I have abdicated myself to within and as the mind can only exist as long as I don’t change or move myself out of the mind

I see, realize and understand that I through deliberately and specifically not caring about myself or changing myself am the creator and as such responsible for abuse and consequences in the world where children are left to starve, where mothers are leaving their children to rot in a dirty cot because they feel too depressed to stand up and take responsibility, that people allow themselves to abuse their bodies and fill their bodies with such an extensive amount of food and drugs and alcohol that the body cannot sustain itself and becomes ill and dies – I see, realize and understand that I through accepting and allowing myself to deliberately not care about myself or about changing myself, am directly and indirectly the responsible for us as human beings not caring about ourselves as life or about the physical life that is here unconditionally supporting us to live and as such that I am responsible for my own destruction of myself here within and as my human physical body and in and as the world system

I commit myself to stop, delete and step out of the ‘deliberately not caring about myself or changing myself in spitefulness, blame and revenge’ character

I commit myself to start caring about myself and caring about changing myself into and as a human being that cares about me as life that cares about all life as equal that cares about and is dedicated to creating a world that is best for all life

I commit myself to assist and supporting myself to develop care, consideration and awareness in, of and for my human physical body and as I develop care for my human physical body as myself, I commit myself to expand my care to all life as one and equal here, in and as the physical

When and as I see that I am participating within and as an experience of deliberately giving up on myself within and as a deliberate spite, blame and revenge towards ‘someone else’ as outside and separate from me, I stop.

When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as backchat in and as an internal conversation in my mind where I speak to myself in code of impression where I deliberately sow a seed of doubt and mistrust towards myself in saying to myself that I have not changed, that I will not change and that I will never change – I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here to and as myself as my human physical body.

I see, realize and understand that the purpose of backchat within and as how I have created and accepted myself in and as backchat in abdication of myself to the mind, is to ensure that I remain preoccupied within and as the mind and never venture towards stepping out of the mind and as such that through backchat I have created innumerable fail safes to protect myself as the mind, yet I also see, realize and understand that the fail safes of the mind only can function and operate based on my decision to accept and allow myself to adhere to and submit myself to the backchat that comes up in and through my mind, as real, valid and valuable and as such that when I stop accepting my backchat as who I am I break the code and can simply stop participating and as such deconstruct and delete the code I have created in, of and as the mind and re-configure a new system of equality and oneness and self-honesty in honor of life as who I am here in and as the physical

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to believe that the backchat that comes up in my mind is who I am – and therefore is real, valid and valuable

I commit myself to let go of myself as back chat

I commit myself to stop and delete myself as the automated back chat entity that I have accepted and allowed myself to be, become and abdicate myself to

I commit myself to break the code of safe fails in and as the mind through simply not accepting or allowing myself to accept that which comes up in and through my mind as real, valid or valuable and to deconstruct and delete the programs and systems of the mind through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and the application of deliberate and self-directed breathing and as such re-configure myself into and as a system of equality and oneness with and as myself here in and as my human physical body and in and existence as a whole

When and as I see that I am acting based on a starting-point of accepting and allowing myself to believe that it has no consequences whether I change or not, when and as I see that I am participating within and as the belief that it has no consequences whether I change or not through and within back chat – I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here to myself as my physical body.

I see, realize and understand that I have deliberately deceived myself into believing that it has no consequences if I change or do not change, so that I could justify acting in abuse and being an abuser without taking responsibility for myself or my actions or my creations or the consequences of who and what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become

I see, realize and understand that I within and through the belief that it has no consequences if I change or not, have accepted and allowed a world that is run on abuse, where abuse is so extensive that billions and billions of life forms are suffering from the moment they enter this world until they die in agony, pain, enslavement and captivity

I see, realize and understand that I, through believing that it has no consequences if I change or not, have deliberately justified myself to not change and through that have created the world as it is where nothing and no one is changing and the consequences of what we have accepted and allowed is merely escalating into more and more extensive abuse, deception and suffering and the destruction of ourselves as life

I see, realize and understand that I have only been able to deceive myself into believing that my actions and who and what I accept and allow myself to be, have no consequences, because I have been born into a system where I have had money from birth and where I have not been exposed to the extensive abuse and suffering that exists in this world at a level where one has to live and die with the consequences of who and what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become day in and day out, where I could create safe little bubble called ‘my life’ within the safety of a society where everyone else did the same and were suffering was denied and pushed away as something that does not involve or concern us

I commit myself to develop the self-honesty and the equality and oneness with what is here in and as this world as all living beings so that I can see directly the consequences of what and who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become

I commit myself to stop and delete the belief that me not changing has no consequences and that what I do and who I am has no consequences for anyone else and not even for myself and my physical body

I commit myself to realize that I am responsible for everything and everyone that is here on this planet and I commit myself to develop myself into and as a human being that is able to effectively in self-honesty and common sense asses the consequences of my actions and of my being as who and what I accept and allow myself to live and exist as – and to act and live accordingly in a way that is best for all life as equal and one

When and as I see that I am acting within and from a starting-point of not caring about the consequences that I KNOW my actions and acceptances and allowances will have, because I, in that moment only care my apparent free choice to do whatever it is that I want and desire to do – I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here into and as myself as my physical body in and as self-integrity within and as the dedication and the decision to stand up as life in stopping myself as a self-interested being

I see, realize and understand that me not caring about the consequences of my actions and my acceptances and allowances, is in fact me not caring about myself, but only caring about myself as the mind, as a separate entity of self-delusion and illusion

I see, realize and understand that when I accept and allow myself to only care about myself as the mind, I am in fact accepting and allowing myself to exist as a parasite and a cancer cell that is existing in annihilation of life and as such are NOT free in any way whatsoever but in fact entirely and completely enslaved

I commit myself to in self-honesty asses the consequences of my actions, my acceptances and my allowances and accordingly I commit myself to change my actions, my acceptances and my allowance when and as I see that these will have consequences that are not best for all

I commit myself to stop participating in and accepting and allowing myself to act based on an idea/belief/desire/want/need to do whatever it is that I want and to have free choice

When and as I see that my actions are in fact abusive or consequentially abusive, I stop. I breathe and I re-align my actions here within and as what is best for all

When and as I see, that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as a belief/idea about myself as caring, when I can clearly see that my actions are abusive and such that I am deliberately deceiving myself in self-dishonesty – I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here to myself in and as my physical body in and as self-integrity within the decision and dedication to stand up for life in equality and oneness as what is best for all

When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to accept and allow myself to participate within and a pattern, an action, an addiction that I experience myself as unable to stop and change and step out of and that is clearly abusive or consequentially abusive, I commit myself to develop the required self-directive will and the decision to stop and step out of such action, pattern or addiction – exactly so that I do not simply speak words that sound good about stopping everything right at once when I can see that there are clearly points as patterns and addictions that I have not yet stood equal to and directed in self-honesty and to instead of splitting myself into a fake commitment to change and a real action of abuse, to formulate my self-commitment to self-corrective application in such a way that I do in fact ensure that I direct myself to stop accepting and allowing this pattern or addiction

I see, realize and understand that my words are only as valuable and worthy of life as I make them and decide them to be through giving myself the opportunity, the courtesy and the responsibility of changing myself accordingly and I see, realize and understand that it is absolutely useless and redundant and self-deceptive to speak words that I KNOW that I do not stand equal to and that such words will come back and bite me in the ass because I within speaking words that I do not in fact stand equal to, am creating an alternate deceptive entity of superiority in my mind that I then convince and pretend that I am – when I am clearly not and thus I create a detour and a time loop of stupidity for myself because I eventually have to go back – which means simply to bring myself back to myself here in self-honesty and in fact direct and correct myself as who and what I in fact am

When and as I see that I am participating within and as spitefulness in my mind as backchat and consequent experiences of blame, apathy, depression, anger, nastiness and deliberate abuse and self-pity based on my childhood development of this character in blaming others for who I am, I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here to myself in and as my physical body in and as self-integrity within the decision and dedication to stand up for life in equality and oneness as what is best for all

I see, realize and understand that no one else is responsible for me or who I am and that I by blaming others and through this take revenge on them in my mind through deliberately abusing and giving up on myself, are in fact abdicating self-responsibility for myself and are acting within the utmost stupidity that exist

I commit myself to stop and delete and let go of the belief and memory of myself as taking revenge upon others through deliberately destroying and abusing myself

When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as an experience of frustration towards points that I see that I have not yet changed, I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here to myself in and as my physical body in and as self-integrity within and as the decision and dedication to stand up for life in equality and oneness as what is best for all

I see, realize and understand that I, through doubting myself and judging myself for not changing am in fact sabotaging myself to NOT change and to create a backdoor for myself to slip through so that I don’t have to change

I commit myself to stop and delete and stop participating in judgment and frustration towards points that I have not yet changed or corrected

I commit myself to stand within and as self-integrity and self-support and patience and gentleness in trusting myself to direct myself to change and to give myself the courtesy and respect of in fact living my commitment of trusting myself in showing myself that I can trust myself through consistently applying myself in practicality and self-honesty to in fact change

I see, realize and understand that I have used deliberate self-diminishment and self-destruction to spite and take revenge upon others that I perceive as having abdicated care and responsibility for me – in separating myself from and abdicating self-responsibility for me having abdicated my own self-care and self-responsibility

I see, realize and understand that I have deliberately abused and destroyed myself to get others to notice me and care for me within and as believing that if they saw what they were doing to me, they would stop and notice me and care for me – while all along, it was myself I was calling out to

When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to participate from within and as a starting-point of backchat and experiencing that I am not good enough – I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here to myself in and as my physical body in and as self-integrity within and as the decision and dedication to stand up for life in equality and oneness as what is best for all

I commit myself to let go of, to delete and to stop the belief that I am not good enough

When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to endorse and actively participate in the belief and acceptance and experience of myself as not good enough, I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here to myself in and as my physical body in and as self-integrity within and as the decision and dedication to stand up for life in equality and oneness as what is best for all

I commit myself to stop holding onto the belief, experience and acceptance of myself as not good enough.

When and as I see, that I am accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as backchat and a consecutive experience of not being good enough as a mantra that I am repeating within and as my mind – I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here to myself in and as my physical body in and as self-integrity within and as the decision and dedication to stand up for life in equality and oneness as what is best for all

I see, realize and understand that I have used and utilized the mantra of not being good enough as a way to legitimize myself to not take self-responsibility or change or dedicate myself to stand up in equality and oneness absolutely to the fullest of my potential so that I could keep existing in a comfort-zone of a zombie-like dream state of mind-delusion

I commit myself to no longer accepting myself as not good enough.

When and as I see, that I am accepting and allowing myself to deliberately use the belief/experience/mantra/acceptance of myself as being not good enough to hold myself back deliberately from stepping over the edge of my self-created and self-accepted limitations, I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here to myself in and as my physical body in and as self-integrity within and as the decision and dedication to stand up for life in equality and oneness as what is best for all

I see, realize and understand that the reason why I have been actively holding onto the belief that I am not good enough is because I know that were I to let the belief go that I am not good enough – if I were to admit that the belief that I am not good enough is not real and is something I have deliberately convinced myself is real – I would have nowhere left to ‘run’ and would have to take self-responsibility and face myself in self-honesty and face my fears and admit my true nature of my secret self to myself and I would no longer be able to justify any point of excuse or abdication

I commit myself to stop running away from myself and face myself here and to face my fears here and to face my secret self as who and what I have in fact accepted and allowed myself to be and become here in self-honesty and to no longer accept, allow or justify any point of excuse or abdication

When and as I see, that I am accepting and allowing myself to fear facing my fears and daring to stand up as myself in and as self-expression in self-honesty and therefore have activated the belief/acceptance/mantra/experience of myself as not good enough – I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here to myself in and as my physical body in and as self-integrity within and as the decision and dedication to stand up for life in equality and oneness as what is best for all

I commit myself to face my fears no matter what and to have the courage to stand up as myself in and as self-expression in self-honesty

When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as blame towards someone else as outside and separate from me for being responsible for me apparently not being good enough, I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here to myself in and as my physical body in and as self-integrity within and as the decision and dedication to stand up for life in equality and oneness as what is best for all

I see, realize and understand that I have trapped and enslaved myself to the past in always blaming someone else for my acceptance and experience of myself as not being good enough so that I could abdicate self-responsibility and did not have to face my fears or myself

I commit myself to stop blaming others – and stop projecting outside myself – my own creation of and my own responsibility for myself

I commit myself to let go of the past as that which I define, limit and experience myself in accordance with

When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as an experience of comfort within participating in the belief/experience/acceptance and mantra that I am not good enough – I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here to myself in and as my physical body in and as self-integrity within and as the decision and dedication to stand up for life in equality and oneness as what is best for all

I see, realize and understand that I have used the belief/experience/acceptance and mantra that I am not good enough as a backdoor to avoiding facing my fears and to avoid anyone to have any expectations to me or make demands of me that I might risk failing and such have created a comfort zone within and as the acceptance of myself as not good enough where in fact made myself not good enough

I commit myself to stop and step out of and to delete my comfort zone of inferiority

I commit myself to dare and to give myself the chance and opportunity to discover and expand myself into and as my full potential through dedicating myself to whatever it is I am participating within and as in full attention and self-trust

When and as I see, that I am accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as a fear of not living up to what I have perceived as others expectations to me, of trying to prove myself worthy to others – I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here to myself in and as my physical body in and as self-integrity within and as the decision and dedication to stand up for life in equality and oneness as what is best for all

I see, realize and understand that the expectations I have perceived and believed that others had to me, was in fact my own expectations that I separated myself from and abdicated myself to by projecting them outside myself

I see, realize and understand that I have created an expectation to myself to be more than and less than who and what I am here

I commit myself to stop, delete and let go of the fear of not living up to the expectations of others

I commit myself to stop projecting my own expectations to myself onto others

I commit myself to stop separating myself from my own expectations to myself

I commit myself to stop expecting of myself to be more and less than who and what I am here

I commit myself to walk with myself here as who and what I am in equality and oneness through looking at myself in practical common sense and accordingly direct and correct myself to becoming a being that is practically best for all

I commit myself to stop, delete and let go of the story I have told myself about who I am

When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to not venture into or participate in a specific action/participation through using the belief that I am not good enough – I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here to myself in and as my physical body in and as self-integrity within and as the decision and dedication to stand up for life in equality and oneness as what is best for all

I see, realize and understand that I have used the belief that I am not good enough as an excuse to not venture into new forms of expression and participation because I feared that I would risk being ridiculed and that I would fail

I commit myself to support myself to venture into new forms of expression and participation that I do not already stand equal to and master in practicality

I commit myself to stop fearing venturing into new forms of expression and participation

I commit myself to stop, delete and remove my resonant energetic reaction and relationship that I have created and attached to the words ‘not good enough’ where I would immediately go into and as an experience of fear and shame of having failed and a literally dunking down as self-diminishment

I commit myself to redefine ‘not good enough’ as a practical assessment that holds no judgment or polarity so that ‘not good enough’ is simply a point of seeing in practicality where a point requires further direction/correction/dedication/participation and development to exist and be expressed within and as its full potential – like a bread that is under baked is not good enough and thus simply requires to be baked to its full potential for the perfect texture and eating experience

I commit myself to see, realize and understand that though there are points that I do not yet master or stand equal to this does not in any way define or invalidate my worth and is simply a practical fact that can be corrected and changed.

I commit myself to become someone who is standing within and as self-integrity through developing self-trust in dedicating and committing myself to the decision of standing for life in equality and oneness as what is best for all

Give yourself the daily gift of reading the blogs from Creation’s Journey to Life, Earth’s Journey to Life and Heaven’s Journey to Life. Join us at Desteni, where a forum is available 24/7 with support on how to write oneself out in self-honesty and where any questions regarding the Desteni Material will be answered by competent Destonians who are walking their own process. Visit the Destonian Network where videos and blogs are streamed daily. Suggest to also check out the Desteni I Process and Relationship courses for extended training and support. Walk with us in implementing an Equal Money System as a new System on Earth based on Equality as what is Best for All. Let’s Walk!

Tags: abuse, Consciousness, Developing integrity, having integrity, integrity, Mind, Not Good enough, Physical body, self trust, Self-Abuse, self-integrity, Self-Love, Self-Respect, Self-Sabotage, walk with integrity
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Demography in an Equal Money System

August 31, 2011 in Equal Money Blog

Currently I am studying a subject in demography (the study of the structure of human populations using statistics relating to births, deaths, wealth, disease, etc.) called “population development” and basically it consists of three components; mortality, fertility and migration which is then studied, often to give prognoses on where a society is heading. Although it was interesting to see the graphs and spikes and how a change in a single law regarding divorce, would change the entire demography setting of a population, the subject itself is also utterly absurd. Basically a large amount of people are educated to study numbers that are generated every time people are born, die or move from one region or country to another. They then try to predict how the future will be, based on these data and optimally utilize data to prevent demographic, physical and economic catastrophes from happening through being able to create policies that will effect the demographic s of a country or a group. So the “art” of demography is to look at people from a view so far up high that each individual becomes a tiny dot on a graph and to guess where the dots will move next. This is then done with the development of the AIDS pandemic in Africa, the fertility rates in Europe or China and the migration of refugees from Iraq and Afghanistan. Obviously some form of demographic research is relevant or useful, considering an actual mathematical overview of what works or not in a society – but to watch millions of people die from famine or casually measuring how many children die from infancy mortality from the safe distance of a welfare country is not only absurd, but also a form of spitefulness and abuse. Consider how much money is posted into demographics departments around the world’s universities, where students make careers in ‘scientific speculation’ and write PhD’s on research that is not relevant for anyone but the university and the students themselves. This is obviously not only in demography that this is happening – it is happening in all academic areas where money and resources could be spent on what is best for all – on coming up with solutions to the problems that we face on earth, not only theoretically but more importantly: practically as well. The scientists and scholars will say that even if they want to, they’re not able to do this due to policy makers having the power and control over what research gets funding. A cure for a well-known disease might be created but impossible to get to those actually sick, because it might not fit into a specific policy-scheme or election period. This does however not mean that the scientists and scholars is not equally responsible for what is here and that their research should be devoted to change our world so that everyone can live dignified and without suffering or abuse. It is actually possible – but because everyone abdicates self-responsibility, the “ball” is constantly being shifted and pushed around. What we don’t realize is, that as much as we wash them, we’ve still got blood on our hands and that it will not stop until we stop spilling the blood of the earth, the animals and each other. Demography can be used in an Equal Money System, where what is best for all is the overall principle of policy-making , to measure that what we are doing IS in deed working and to ensure that it is always the best solutions that are considered and decided upon. We will not look down on Earth or ourselves from a safe distance of an academic justification, but will instead see each dot that connects the map as a valuable and dignified expression of life that is entitled to an equally dignified life.

Tags: abuse, Academics, AIDS, Change, Demographics, Demography, EMS, Equal Money System, Money, statistics
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Katy Perry – A Mainstream Misogynist? (OR: Why I am becoming a Feminist) PART 2

June 15, 2011 in Anna's Process Blog

These writings are not those of a typical feminist – because I am writing not only from a critical view, but also as a form of catharsis, as a self-awakening from a heavy nightmare, into which I have ridden myself in the acceptance and condolence of abuse towards women and are now slowly opening my eyes while adjusting the brightness of seeing what is Here. So this is me rising myself – not rising against men or in defense of women. I am simply Here to speak that which has remained unspoken within and as myself and within and as this world. Within this article I am thus drawing from own observations and experiences as well as analyzing specific cultural and sociological traits relevant to gain an understanding of why women submit themselves willingly to the abuse and degradation by men and why we accept ourselves as societies and culture that does not honor or dignify ourselves as life. Let’s begin:

The other night a couple of girls were having a party at house next to mine. They were preparing themselves to go out clubbing and from my window, I could see how they were dressing themselves, putting on make-up and getting drunk, meanwhile music was playing with a thumbing bass out the window. I noticed that most of the songs they were listening to were these techno/house tracks with male singers and with lyrics sounding like “eat my ass bitch” in a monotone and generic fashion or it was female singers with lyrics such as “I wanna give it up to you”. I then embarked on researching this point a little further as I found it to be interesting and fascinating how these women were listening to music that was clearly degrading and misogynistic as though it was actually empowering.

Here were these girls, partying as ‘single women’, with ‘their own money’, ‘beautiful and free’ – for example compared to their great grandmothers, who were slave bound to kitchens, not allowed to vote, considered dumb and irrational simply for being a women or if we compare them to women in other cultures that do not have their own money, education or the cultural freedom to express themselves, for example sexually. And still they were listening to degrading abusive music with male voices singing to them to get ‘get on your knees’ or the infamous “eat my ass bitch” as though it were a celebration of life. When I placed myself in their shoes, their immediate and conscious experience of themselves were as ‘power-women’ – I mean, that was the game they were playing. “We’re players” “Women can be players as well” – and even though that is true, I can say from personal experience that this is also a matter of joining them, because you can’t beat them – and in this case it is the male dominant culture, where women are valuable and valuing themselves as objects for the attraction of men and where men are supposed to be tough and brutal, seen, defined and perceived as the ominous “Cool”.

“…see whore you’re the kinda girl that I’da
Assault and rape and figure why not try to make your pussy wider
Fuck you with an umbrella then open it up while that shits inside ya”

Eminem in the song “Stay Wide Awake”

Jackson Katz, an anti-sexism activist writer describes it in these words:

“Is it truly possible that women’s lives have been so thoroughly devalued that {Eminem} a multi-platinum musical artist with nine Grammy awards to his name can sing multiple songs about raping and mutilating women and hip sophisticates can’t even bring themselves to utter the words “woman-hating?”[1]

Yes – it is most certainly possible, which the story above clearly exemplifies. Because when not only men degrade women, but when women also degrade themselves and when children are brought up to an implicitly immanent misogynistic culture – how can we expect ourselves to live any differently? There is this collective delusion in the wealthiest countries, that women have become liberated (hell that men have become liberated as well) – all conjured up in a comparison to cultures of past times, which apparently makes us liberated because we’re no longer stuck slaving in kitchens, carrying children on our arms and now instead can slave for cash at McDonalds or Wendy’s. And obviously women can get abortions and divorces, but how exactly that’s ‘liberating’, remains the question.

So back to the story of the girls next door. As I placed myself in their shoes, I saw that they were, behind the roles of ‘liberated power women’ who are ‘playing the game’, insecure, self-conscious human beings who were doing what they were doing specifically with the purpose of getting a man, either to have sex with or to love and hold – in both cases, for reproductive intentions.

How do I know this? I have been there and have done it myself. As a woman going out clubbing, your primary asset and value is your looks which has to meet specific standards or preferences. So these girls were constantly going from the living room where they were partying to the bedroom, both of which I could see from my window – to put make-up on and check their reflection. Some of the girls did this many times, many 10 or 20 times during the night of 4-5 hours before they were going out. And these girls were normal, standard, good-looking girls as one would imagine such. There was nothing out of the ordinary about them – and they would check their reflection in a certain way – with critical, sharp eyes of either approval or disapproval. And in the back-ground of the mind, the image of a man accepting them, loving them, feeding them with attention (or money and drinks) were constantly running like a movie in their head. They were drinking heavily as well, which people do to ‘uplift their spirits’ – basically to push beyond their own boundaries so that they become able to speak, dance, flirt and have sex.

As a girl and woman listening to this music, the ‘eat my ass bitch’ from before, the experience is that of being empowered, of being strong, invincible and specifically that of being a part of the male (superior) environment, showing the males that we can ‘match them’ and that we’re not whiny little sissies that can’t keep our liqueur sort of thing – is the psychology behind this point. I realized something fascinating a while back in relation to this point: that men do not specifically want woman to ‘match them’, meaning to be tough or strong – many men has a fantasy about a feminine, fragile virgin-like girl to whom they can either ravage or cherish or both, quite like many women has a fantasy about a beast of a man who fittingly ravages her or cherishes her like a delicate flower or both.

So this specific point is about women matching and attempting to empower themselves through matching the degrading nature of a male-dominant society – it is a quite strange application of self-empowerment. Yet – if we as women have seen men and what men represent and present themselves as, as free, empowered and self-authoritative, then that becomes our aim for empowering ourselves – because in a male dominated society, there are no alternatives. And I am not speaking here about strictly of male-dominant as being run by males – more that it is specific characteristics connected with being male that are predominant and valued as such amongst all members of society, whether it degrades and enslaves them or not. So in terms of the discussion about the male-dominant society, it might as well be a man that is degraded and enslaved by, to fulfill a role by putting on a suit or pumping iron or suppressing himself and his self-expression.

So the topic here is not physical men vs. physical woman. That is exactly seen in how women, when attempting to empower themselves, will end up doing exactly the opposite. That is because our entire society and the systems within which we manage our lives, our bodies and our minds – are male-dominant. In this specific case, it is women who have actively taken upon themselves to enslave themselves and degrade themselves through participating in the degrading of women through music, fashion and social behavior – as though it was in fact empowering.

Women (or men) don’t have an alternative to empower themselves –and power in this current system is equivalent with brutality, abuse cynicism, ego and self-interest. Thus we’re Impulsed to shape and form ourselves as personalities in relation to this definition of power, which is why many relationships will exist within a reversed constellation where the woman dominates the man in exactly the same way as a man would have dominated a woman.

Therefore – it is time to give ourselves an alternative. Obviously in order to do so, we first of all have to understand how we’ve defined power, worth and value as it is – so that we can start redefining what power, worth and value is and should be, when it is no longer abusive and unequal.

You can read more about this in the article, where I wrote about the enslavement of reproduction, and I will return to this in coming articles. I will also continue with investigating the male perspective in this, where males become equally enslaved to and within the point of degrading and abusing women and thus degrading and abusing themselves. For now I will remain with this point of how woman are trapped in a self-degrading and inverted chauvinism that is expressed through the example of music.

We shall here take a look at and analyze a brand this Katy Perry song. Katy Perry did most likely not write this song, yet I am deliberately referring to it as such, because 1) there is a communal pretense that money-making-mainstream-music –performers DO write their own material and 2) because Katy Perry does let this song represent her – she is singing it – it is “a Katy Perry song”. I shall not analyze the entire song here, merely highlight some fascinating expressions that show how the acceptance of abuse towards women, is Impulsed and groomed into us via mainstream music that pretends to be innocent and harmless via it’s glossy exterior and it’s Disney- meets-Demon-like front-figures.

The song from Perry’s most recent album appropriately called “Teenage Dreams” is called E.T and it circles around the theme of Katy falling in love with an alien man. (Katy Perry, who got married to another celebrity, notorious playboy Russel Brand in an spiritual ceremony in India last year)

The song starts with a rap intro by the infamous Kayne West that lays the foundation for the perspective of the song presented as a ‘boyish’ tease, like the constant chase on the playground where the boys pull the girls pigtails and the girls scream. Yet – this is not children or teenagers who are presenting this – they are adult, successful artists with large audiences specifically in the segment of children and teenagers. And behind the boyish teasing, is a far more cynical and brutal truth about this and these types of songs and artists. The topic of why adult artists are making music targeted towards children within creating an entire ‘world’ around them as a fairytale, is another story for another time. Take a look at the lyrics here. This is the fantasy man that Katy Perry in these lyric’s dream universe is feverishly submitting herself to:

K[Kanye West]
“I got a dirty mind
I got filthy ways
I’m tryna Bath my Ape in your Milky Way
I’m a legend, I’m irreverent
I be reverand
I be so fa-a-ar up, we don’t give a f-f-f-f-ck
Welcome to the danger zone
Step into the fantasy
You are now invited to the other side of sanity
They calling me an alien
A big headed astronaut
Maybe it’s because your boy Yeezy get ass a lot”

So first Kayne calls himself a ‘reverend’ meaning the man who speaks the word of god to the clergy or the following of a specific church and later goes on to complimenting Katy for making him ‘the big man he is’ by him having anal sex with her. To that Katy Perry answers:

[Katy Perry]
“You’re so hypnotizing
Could you be the devil
Could you be an angel

Your touch magnetizing
Feels like I am floating
Leaves my body glowing.”

Here Katy are referring to the energetic reactions attached and played out – to which many people are addicted – between man and woman. The “electric” spark that is experienced. Here Katy has associated this to a specific man, a special man – that thus makes it even more intense. The man is thus placed on a pedestal sending the signal that such a man could exist, but also within polarizing and idealizing him to such a degree, she herself becomes implicitly inferior and irrelevant.

“They say be afraid
You’re not like the others
Futuristic lover
Different DNA
They don’t understand you”

There is here an entire topic on it’s own with the references to aliens and spirituality, which I will not discuss in this article, but merely mention as a point to consider critically.

“Your from a whole other world
A different dimension
You open my eyes
And I’m ready to go
Lead me into the light”

This is a clear reference to the biblical “god” and the man is in this fantasy now uplifted to the status of a god.

Kiss me, ki-ki-kiss me
Infect me with your love and
Fill me with your poison”

Love is referred to as an infection and sperm as a poison which is from a certain perspective quite accurate, but the point that follows through her is the point of submitting oneself to abuse, to the desire and want to be abused, which clearly can be seen in the lyrics below:

“Take me, ta-ta-take me
Wanna be a victim
Ready for abduction”

The rest of the song goes on repeatedly in the same fashion and upon investigating more of the current music listened to specifically by teenagers and adolescents, these type of lyrics are not uncommon – quite the contrary. So the question is then if this is merely harmless wordplay or mating-games within a fantasy that is not supposed to be lived out into reality and if the average adolescent is so desensitized from seeing and hearing about rough sex that they do not take something like this seriously. Or if the desensitization is actually something that this music is indicative of, where we as human beings abdicate self-dignity and the ability to see others as equals and thus come to believe that we either have the right to treat others as objects or that we are no more worth than the objects we use without care.

I have as a woman – but even more so relevant, as a human being in this world, desensitized myself to abuse and suffering, to the abuse and suffering inflicted upon my own human physical body as well as the abuse and suffering within and as this world. I have found it easier to submit myself, because I believed and accepted that standing up was impossible – my world left me no alternatives. Yet when everybody says this, does this, creates this – we end up with a world of self-abdicated beings who are abusing each other and all claiming their freedom from responsibility.

I have realized for myself that the extend to which I have desensitized myself from what is here, specifically as suffering and abuse, is what has allowed it to escalate – because if it is not me, I cannot feel it, if it is not happening to me, I am not responsible, If I do not see it, I am not here as it.

I have realized that the extend to which I have desensitized myself is so vast that I require a total re-education of myself to actually re-learn how to care – not only about the world, about other life-forms and people, but equally about myself. Because self-abdication in all its various compromises is the self-degradation of separation that I have willingly submitted myself to.

Separation = Self-Abdication

When we return to the girls across the street in the house who were partying and getting ready to go out, they are themselves responsible for what they are doing – - they might even experience that nagging feeling of “why am I doing this, why am I compromising myself like this?” and then they look around and there is no alternative and everyone is doing the same and if they don’t do this they wont get a man and if they don’t get a man they stand no chance at getting that perfect life or at least surviving so that their genes can be transferred and they may live forever through the generations to come … WTF?

Is that the kind of human beings we want to bring into this world, continuously without end? Is surviving more important than being able to exist in self-dignity without being abused or abusing others? Unfortunately we have been programmed and have programmed ourselves to believe and accept this to be true to the extend where the this is infused into and as our bodies so that the mind sends an energetic surge or shock through the body a signal that it is time to get to work, to get that ass on the dance floor and mate at all costs and at any price – because the survival of the human species is our sole purpose in this world. And within that single point of self-abdication, have we collectively as men and women – as human beings – submitted ourselves to exist within and as the honoring of abuse instead of life, of being entertained by the suffering of others and in believing that the continuous enslavement of ourselves, is what freedom looks, feels and smells like – there at the bottom of the human physical body that has become the object of our blind devotion. We have truly become assholes of our own demise.

I am walking the Desteni ‘I’ Process to end all of this – within myself as within the world as a whole. I realize that I first must re-learn myself to take self-responsibility, to live dignified and principled, to not compromise or abuse myself, mentally or physically – to not submit myself to ideas or preprogrammed definitions about who I should be or what I should enjoy or desire or dislike. I realize that I have never really cared and even if I did, the world does not even facilitate human begins that do care.

This is not a world for human beings that care about life – and at Desteni, this is what we’re here to change – with the Desteni ‘I’ Process as the first step of self towards self-dignity and care for self as life and with The Equal Money System as the first step of humanity standing together as a group to Dignify All Life in Equality – so that we many bring forth a heaven on earth through the self-forgiveness and purification of abuse so that we may start trusting ourselves and each other to express and apply ourselves in real care and compassion for life.

Join us if you’re ready to unveil the world as we unveil ourselves – to stand up in self-dignity and to prepare the way for ourselves to embark on a journey of re-discovery of ourselves as sovereignty in self-exploration, expansion and equality with and as all life.

[1] http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jackson-katz/eminem-misogyny-and-the-s_b_211677.html

http://www.elyricsworld.com/e.t_%28feat_kanye_west%29_lyrics_katy_perry.html

Tags: abuse, Anna Brix Thomsen, Bootycall, Celebrities, Desteni I Process, Equal Money System, Feminism, Katy Perry, Katy Perry: ET, Kayne West, Men, Misogynism in music, Misogynist, Popstars, sex, Sex Education, Sexy girls, Song lyrics, Superstars, Teenager, The Music Industry, Women
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Sex Workers – They’re Lovin’ it?

June 12, 2011 in Anna's Process Blog

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-ToaTfFQ44&w=425&h=349]

Tags: abuse, Anna Brix Thomsen, Desteni I Process, Economy, EMS, Equal Money System, Exploitation, Prostitutes, Sex Trafficking, Sex Workers, The Happy Prostitute
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Virtual Reality with Xbox Kinect vs. Living Reality – Citizens of Facebook: You Decide!

March 11, 2011 in Equal Money Blog

Recently the new Xbox 360 Kinect Kinectimals was released. The Kinectimals is a version of the new kincetics hype that is based on interaction similar to Wii and the new Playstation games. The product itself costs around 300 Euro or 400 dollars and the basic Principle of the game is that you get a virtual pet. As described by one blogger:

“Xbox 360 Kinect Kinectimals is designed for the entire family as a result kids as well as men and women will delight in building partnerships with exotic pets. If you or your children have always dreamed of having a tiger cub, then this particular game is right up your alley. You could listen to the Kinectimals purr with pleasure as you scratch him behind his ears; not an adventure you can expect to have in real life.”

So basically you get to play with a tiger as if it was real life, right at home in your living room, but without the risk of being killed or bitten by mosquito’s.

The blogger continues to describe how the game works:

“The game starts with the user adopting and then naming one of the different exotic animal friends, such as a tiger, cheetah, or lion. The Kinectimal will learn how to respond to the users tone of voice and commands. Eventually the Kinectimal learns to fetch, and will explore the on-screen island. Then there additional tricks to teach the Kinectimal for instance fetch, as well as other activities to participate in for example jump rope.”

Virtual Reality

What is striking is that these types of games that are becoming increasingly popular, where the plot is based on one not having to leave the comforts of ones living room and at the same time be able to play games that have a sense of connection, intimacy, relationship and “realness” about it. Obviously there are also those targeted for the adult players that will often be exercising games where one can play tennis or golf and become the image of one’s dreams

So basically one has all the pleasures and stimulation of a real life situation, without actually having to be Here. This brings associations to Science Fiction movies and novels such as Wall-E and Surrogates, where the virtual life has virtually taken over Living in the Physical.

So – Imagine for a moment if all the people who had purchased an Xbox and the Xbox Kinetics games would spend their money on for example making sure that the tigers don’t go extinct. Imagine the billions of dollars and resources that have been put into creating these games in the first place – All for What? For some human beings to make a buck and for others to buy a life of leisure in safe distance from everything that is Real. And meanwhile we are happily merchants of extinction of the Animals, the Earth and ourselves – but hey, we will always have Virtual Reality.

What could we do with 25 billion dollars?

In the first 60 days on the market, the Xbox Kincect broke the world record of being the “Fastest selling consumer electronics device” having sold devices for more that 25 billion dollars. The company had spend 500 million dollars on advertising alone – the slogan for the campaign appropriately being: You Are the Controller.

With 25 billion dollars we could change, if not the world, then at least feed the Starving for the next 10 years, while we figure out how to create a sustainable Solution so that no one will have to Starve ever again. Why create a virtual Reality, where there is a Real World Right Here. The sustainable Solutions have been created and invented. The scientists are skilled enough to create cars that can last 100 years. Meanwhile the headfund (pun intended) of Microsoft, the company that produces Xbox, Bill Gates is Promoted as the Angel of Mercy, a Modern day Mother Teresa of the Age of Knowledge, who supports the needy wherever he goes and stands as a beacon of charity and compassion.

WTF?

What does this show about us Humanity? That we have become so warped into our imaginary bubbles of self-interest that we are shaping the world to fit our inner virtual Reality – Mind you that it is only a fraction of the world’s population that can even afford an Xbox. Surely there are also parents working two or three shifts only to be able to provide such a service for their precious young. Seriously humanity: Is this who we want to be?

Why do we rather live in a virtual reality?

People would rather live in a virtual reality, than fixing what is Here. It is tough Facing what is Here as this World with 2 billion people living in grim Poverty and so by living in a virtual Reality, we can push the Real World away and pretend for a moment that it is not as bad as it looks. But it IS as bad as it looks – and starving children are not images in the newspaper – they are Real and their Suffering is Real. We have gotten so used to seeing these images that we do not even consider that they are portraying Reality for millions of people in this World. We even believe that by being appalled, we have done at least something to state that this is unacceptable. But statements of intent are Lies if they are not Applied into Action. Principles only Apply if we Actually Live by them, not some of the time or when we want to, but in every moment of every Breath.

It feels safe and warm and comfy in there in the virtual realities of our minds and living rooms and often we don’t even realize the extend to which we will plan our lives according to fear. The fear of not surviving is not only for those who actually have to fear for their lives, who fear that they will not even be able to feed their child today or that they will be killed by soldiers if they go to the market. The reason behind purchasing and playing a game like Kinetics is also fear and so we can hide in our minds separate realities or even create virtual ones at a physical level. The only problem is that all bubbles burst eventually and so no matter how hard we try, we cannot keep Reality away and it will eventually creep up on us as thief in the night or when our fences are broken down by angry mobs, our houses burned down by forest fires or our water is contaminated to the point of poisoning and genetic mutation.

Citizens of Facebook – Unite

Measured in population, Facebook is currently the world’s largest country in the World. That means that we as citizens of Facebook have a Direct vote in this World, that is currently being wasted on virtual realities where all that matters is the next moments entertainment, and the next… Why not join together and each of us decide for Ourselves that we would rather Live in the Real World and fix it so that we can Actually Enjoying being Here for Real.

Instead of spending 3oo Euro or 400 dollars on a virtual Reality that will only postpone the Moment of Facing what is Here – Join the Equal Money Movement and Start Participating Actively in Bringing about Real Change. Practivism is Activism with Common Sense Consideration of What is Best For All, at a Real, Practical and Physical Level. We have the skills, the resources, the money to Change the World – All we need is each other. That means – all we need is Ourselves. To Decide for Ourselves, each and every One – that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH – TILL HERE NO FURTHER and that we would rather Live in a World where Tigers run Free, than to be looked up in a room petting imaginary friends.

Join the World Equality Process – The Equal Life Foundation where we work towards Creating an Equal Money System that guarantees Everyone an Equal Right to a Dignified Life with Clean Water, Food, Shelter and Education. Where no one has to Fear for their Survival or Live only to Survive.

Join the Re-Education of Ourselves from Organic Robots Living in Virtual Realities as Slaves to Fears and Personal Desires to Beings Standing up for Life, Equal and One, In Self-Honesty and Self-Respect.

Tags: 25 billion, abuse, Bill Gates, Desteni, Desteni Group, Desteni I Process, DIP, Earth, Equal Life Foundation, Equal Money, Equal Money For All, Equality, Facebook, Facebook the worlds 3. largest country, Future, Microsoft, Money, Shopping, SRA, starvation, Suffering, Virtual Reality, Xbox, Xbox Kinect, Xbox Kinectimals
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Q and A – Discussion: “How do We Fight the Big Corporations?”

March 9, 2011 in Equal Money Blog

From the article “Corporations, Governments and Consumers – The Unholy Trinity of Inequality” in my column on The Sociology Journal on Sociology.com

Q – from Derrick:

What is the obligation of a corporation to the people of the world? I believe it to be a bit more than making a cheeseburger that half of the world can’t afford and that kills the half that can – – – at the expense of the most bio-diverse eco-system on the planet, the rainforest.

I would like to see a buyer caveat on products and services. If there is no legal way to nudge corporations towards philanthropy, then I want to at least see a sign in front of the mega-department-store pointing to the millions they gave in the recent election to anti-gay candidates. How can such massive entities move without a sound?

A – My Reply:

The corporations can move without a sound, because of a system of governance and consumption that we have all accepted as legit – It moves without sound, because We move without sound. Because the sounds we do make, are accusations, blame and acceptance of ourselves as powerless.

I have fought many battles in my life trying to beat the System, trying to get off the grid, to live sustainably – until I realized that the System is within me, that I am the System – That a poor man given the chance would do exactly the same as the rick guy, once getting his fingers into the cookie jar. That the System in which we have Accepted ourselves, is build on fear, competition and greed and that actually Living by Principles that Stands for What is Best for All Life requires a score to be settled with all and everything that we have ever done and been – that words are easy, but action not.

As shown by Raj Patal and others, the only political power the modern consumer-citizen has, is to chose between organic and regular products – And for many that is seemingly enough to make us sleep through the night. The problem is that responsibility is shifted between corporations, governments and consumers in a way where no one is held accountable, let alone holding themselves accountable and where half the world literally is left with the consequences of what we are collectively accepting and allowing in this world.

The solution is therefore not to simply stop buying certain products, and anyway that is most often done to keep one’s own hands clean, while not considering that choice comes with money and that money is what motivates all of us, because it has become synonym for survival, comfort, safety and happiness. When you are poor you do not have the luxury to go organic or vegetarian and thereby this choice is an elitist choice, that does not have an actual impact on the world as a whole.

A collective Stand is required, where each takes it upon themselves to be accountable for what we are participating within and as, as a collective – That is firstly done by researching what it actually is we are allowing, by removing the veil that lets us sleep through the night, by recognizing that we not only have the power, but that we are also using it, knowingly or unknowingly every time we shop, think, eat and breathe.

Next it is required that we Stand together to actually create the necessary changes – to realize that behind corporations and governments and money, are people just like ourselves, living for their own survival only, just like ourselves.

We’ve gotta move the System as the System, from within the System – We’ve gotta Stand by what we have created and Change it in fact, in practical, actual reality – into a world that we would want our children to be born into. Dreaming up some Utopian society, bashing the powers that be – that is easy. What is not easy, but what is also required is for us, each of us, one by one, to be the Change.

If your life, your thoughts, your actions represented One Vote, what is yours? Are we even able to answer that honestly? Or is the brutal facts of what we are Accepting in this World too hard to Face? Is there even a choice?

I am One Vote for World Equality and an Equal Money System – Where governance is about making the choices Always that considers what is Best for All, not as an idea or a philosophy but as a Common Sense, Physical Fact – Once we get there, it will be easy to see and do what is required to be done.

Participate in Changing

The

World

One Breath at the Time

The Desteni I Process – Where we Re-Educate Ourselves to Common Sense, Self-Honesty and Self-Responsibility for Our Participation in and as this World
The Equal Money System The World Equality Process is where we work together to Create a Global Equal Politics and Money System, Working towards Giving Everyone an Equal Right to a Dignified Life

Practivism is Activism

with Common Sense

In Oneness and Equality

As What is Best for All

Tags: abuse, Activism, Common Sense, Corporations, Economic Crash, Equal Money System, Equality, Fight The System, Finance, free market, Future, Global Politics, Global Studies, Governments, Gucci, History, Lady Gaga, Market, Market economy, McDonalds, Past, Plato, Politics, Poverty, Practivism, Resistance, Socrates, Solution, starvation, Suffering
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REALITY CHECK: On the Deception of “Good intentions”

January 17, 2011 in Equal Money Blog

“The foreigners love all these images of poor people to sell, to make Money” -

“We want justice for all those who live in tents, while the NGO’s make millions”

” We are telling the States and the NGO’s: You’ve made Money for one year – We’ve been in tents for one year – people have sent millions to help us, but nothing has been done” – “NGO’s can’t really develop or help develop the country – in Fact they make the country even poorer”

This Clearly shows how there is no functioning International Community or Aid/charity organizations that are Actually Functioning – Still people in the West Justify the Abdication of Self-Responsibility through giving money to these organizations, without fully Investigating what they spend their Money on – Haiti is a small country that is easily accessible – With the Money donated, the entire country could have been re-build and instead they are now dying from cholera for no reason, while aid workers cash in – This should serve as a fucking Reality Check for All those that believe that “someone else” takes Care of it – That the governments and aid organizations know what they are doing and are the one’s Responsible for Assisting these people to rebuild a society that already was one of the world’s poorest and most politically unstable societies.

The root of the problem is the accepted Inequality and indifference of each western citizen towards the rest of the World – which is why Self-Responsibility for the Whole, as this World and ALL PEOPLE is the Solution to Stopping the Suffering and Abuse that is currently being Accepted – So what do we do?

At Desteni we suggest a Re-Education of Ourselves, wherein we Face the Brutal Fact that we have in deed been indifferent, even and when we have believed not to be, when we have believed ourselves to Care. We are doing this through the Desteni I Process, wherein we Support Ourselves and Each other to Start Living according to the Principle of what is Best for All, instead of Surviving within and from Self-Interest as Personality and Preference -

Through this we Start taking ACTive Self-Responsibility for and as this World – We Suggest to Create an Equal Money and Equality Politics System – where we at a Global Scale, Create a System that is Based on the Principle of What is Best For All on a Practicable, Livable Level based on the Simple Fact that Everyone has an Equal Right to Life – a System based on each of us starting to take Self-Responsibility for and as This World.

Thank you

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://equalmoney.org/

Tags: abuse, Aid Organizations, Aid Workers Abuse, Amnesty International, Deception, Desteni Group, Desteni I Process, DIP, Doctors without Borders, Earthquake, Equal and One, Equal Money For All, Equal Money System, Equality, Giving Aid, Good Intentions, Greed, Haiti, Haiti Aid, Haiti Charity, Haiti Election, Haiti Humanitarian Crisis, Haiti Scandal, Humanitarian Aid, Inequality, International Politics, ITD, Money, money-system, NGO, NGO's, One Vote For World Equality, Red Cross, Self-Deception, SRA, starvation, Suffering, Trust, UN
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The European Cultural Elite – Masters or Morons?

September 21, 2010 in World Exposed Blog

In Europe we have traditionally seen and defined ourselves as The Cultural Elite of World – tracing back to the age known in Europe as ‘The enlightenment’, the age of apparent ‘reason’ and ‘logic’, where science (as a new religion none the less) was taking over from the ‘dark ages’, where ‘God’ ruled the Earth, bringing ‘sanity’ and ‘sanitation’ to a dirty and unsorted world. But even prior to this, in various times of colonization, religious reformations and general ‘imperialism’, the Europeans considered themselves intellectual and moral superiors, high above the ‘savages’ of the world – as overlords and rightful conquers of land, people and resources. As far back as Plato, ancient Greece and Rome, Europe was the center of the development of the systems of the world, in philosophy as well as technology and business – At least, that is the history we learn in European and probably also American and Australian schools, as those countries along with us are the proud decedents and living proof of the prosperous evolution of the European people – Essentially and more precisely known as ‘The White Man’. This is the basic mentality that lays the ground for all people born in these parts of the world – and is what we take for granted as universal truths of the development of the world through history, as well as the current situation on Earth. In this article, we will disprove this position of ‘The white man’ as the ‘overlords’ and intellectual and cultural superiors of the world – we will even claim that we have failed grimly at the task of evolving and developing the world, to a higher state of life and suggest that a final score is settled between the white man and himself.

As those born in industrialized, developed countries having the luxuries of taking welfare for granted, we tend to view those in ‘undeveloped’ countries as unintelligent, lazy and largely that their misfortune and suffering is self-inflicted and thus can be written off as people who have yet to be ‘enlightened’ with the wonders of our cultural heritage and rise above their primitive lives. There are variables of this opinion, ranging from spiritual perspectives involving karma and the soul’s journey towards enlightenment (borrowed to pop-culture from the East), to rationalized evolution theories claiming that those who have worked hard and studied, thus have the fortune of living in functional societies that prosper and grow exponentially accordingly. For those of us who are born, especially after 1960 in Western Europe, Australia and the United states, our very existence is founded upon this immanent or inherent belief – and we are thus the proud heritage of the overlords, the conquers of the past, and can therefore rightfully take our position of wealth, knowledge and might in the world. There are several aspects of why this is taken for granted. Depending on the level of welfare and economic infrastructure in the specific country, one does not even have to be born into a household of wealth to be granted with the luxuries of welfare and money – simply being born with the nationality, having the right to a passport and a identity as such, gives you the right to study, live and to be supported financially. Thus we do not have to physically be with money, to be apart of the riches it provides. Therefore it is often not even seen in these countries, how ‘fortunate’ we actually are, and can thus easily be taken for granted or dismissed as a ‘perk’ of living in a developed society. Another aspect of this, is that the intellectual heritage provides us with a view of the world, where we see ourselves as the cultural elite, meaning that we better than anyone else, understands the world, thus having the overview and the mental capacity to analyze other countries and cultures from above – This is apparent in the European culture as well as in the American, which both are products of the same world view, although taking different shapes, where the Americans tend to see America as the navel of the world, while the Europeans tend to claim to have the intellectual and civilized upper hand, thus the right to judge other cultures as barbaric and uncivilized, based on long traditions of philosophy, science and art. Long forgotten is that the numeric system was developed by the Arabs, that the Aborigines had mapped the stars with their eyes long before the astronomers build telescopes, or that the Chinese were far more developed than the Europeans a thousand years ago. Not taken into account is how African or Amazonian tribes view the world entirely different and often see the world as a whole –and not as segmented parts in war with each other over lines on a map. All of this is our heritage that we, knowingly or unknowingly take for granted as universal laws of the world. Obviously there is the dark side of history where we through colonization, extermination and exploitation of the rest of the world, gained access to the natural resources that placed us in the abundant position we are in now – but that is seldom taken into account, as it is seen as a natural consequence of the development of the world, where some were simply stronger and more intelligent than others and thereby rightfully claimed ownership of land, crops, minerals, oil, wood and people, along side shoving our culture down the throat of those ‘uncivilized’ and ‘barbaric’ nations. Seldom is it taken into account that those areas of the world that has been exploited the most, are also the areas of most natural resources, and how the situation of the world would look, had we not colonized and murdered our way to wealth and power.

From this history and development, we live our separate lives, taking part in the comforts, pleasures and entertainment that is provided by our rich and civilized societies. The rest of the world, those born in misfortune and poverty are left to rot as they apparently brought it on themselves and what we seek to do, is instead assist them to develop themselves to get to the level of comfort that we are at, by implementing the capitalistic structure of free markets and trade (that which we call democracy) and providing ‘development aid’. We go to war in the name of freedom of speech and build oil rigs and factories in those countries, under the guise of aiding them to prosper. But we do not see ourselves in any way Responsible for their misfortune and seek thus not to share our wealth. Thus being born in a western country, you learn in school that you are lucky to be born where you are – in ‘The free world’. You learn that this is a result of a proud and glorious history, where your ancestors provided you with the land that you can now rightfully call your own. You do not learn that the welfare and comfort that you take for granted, is riding on the backs of those that suffer. This is not only true seen in the light of the historic development from the imperialistic era, but also down to the pair of sneakers on your feet or the chicken that you stuff your belly with. Suffering and poverty in undeveloped countries exists directly and solely because of how we live our lives in the west. It exists because of the lives that we take for granted as our rightful heritage.

The following story, taken from an article in the Danish newspaper Politikken (Sun Sep. 12) is an example of how much we take our position for granted and how devastating this attitude is, not only for those countries that are being exploited, but for all of us. In Malaysia a Danish company called united plantations was created in 1985. The company has been awarded and appraised as a company that provided healthcare and education for it’s Malaysian workers and that has thus supported the social and economic development of a poor and ‘savage’ country in a ‘team-spirit’ seldom seen in the corporate world. Last year they had a profit of almost 90 million dollars. The company has 5000 workers and besides growing bananas and coconuts, uses most of the land to grow palm fruits that are used to make palm oil. By pressing the fruits, oil is extracted and the oil is used in many foods and in cosmetics. (So when you bite into a mars bar or rub lotion on your skin, remember to send a thought of gratitude to the Malaysian workers, who have risked their lives working for your comfort and satisfaction.) The company has recently been exposed and criticized for providing poor and dangerous work conditions for the workers who work every day harvesting the fruits. United plantations uses pesticides called paraquat and monocrotoophos, both extremely dangerous, causing respiratory problems, damage to the lungs, cause nausea and severe skin rashes. The workers explain that they suffer with rashes on their hands, feet, and chests and even on their genitals. The consequences of working with the palm fruits sprayed with these pesticides are, besides back pain, nails falling off and pain when peeing or having sex. The normal work day is eight hours, but often the workers are forced to work longer to ensure a stable income as the wages are extremely low. They also only get the full pay if they collect a minimum of 16 bags of fruits, of 50 kg. Each. The work starts at 6.30 where it is already getting excruciatingly hot in the Malaysian jungle. The workers bring food and water, but have to leave it where they start harvesting fruits and only after four hours are they allowed going back to where they started and thus they go without water for up to four hours in the boiling heat. One worker has explained that she is forced to sit down and pee, where she works to not have to walk too far away and that she can smell the metallic smell of pesticides dripping from the plants. She explains that this has caused the skin on her vaginal area to tear and bleed. When the workers go the health Clinique, they are told that this is normal and sometimes given pills that has no effect. Working with these pesticides requires equipment such as gumboots, gloves and masks, but the heat is too unbearable for the workers, so they take it off. They are also not able to works as fast as they have to, if they wear the equipment. This is but one example out of thousands, even millions, where the glorious heritage of colonization and intellectual superiority shows its true face. The suffering of the Malaysian workers is not caused by their country being undeveloped or the people being savage or unintelligent - It is caused by a country and people being exploited brutally by western companies, all justified in the name of free will and market forces. ‘We are stronger, so we can do as we please’ – seems to be the mantra. The Malaysians are placed in a position where they have No choice but to obey. The worst part of it is that we can go on living as though this was not happening. We have pushed the world far enough from us, so that we are out of its reach and it is out of ours. But the food we eat, the shoes we wear, the lotion we put on our skin, is all coming from this world. One thing is that it is justified by our deliberate ignorance and unwillingness to see that we are Responsible, but what is even worse is when we justify the abuse by claiming our superiority as a natural birth-given right. This clearly shows that we are not intelligent or developed or in any other way above anyone else. With our apparent superior intellectual and technological skills, we could have solved this in a way, where these workers did not have to Suffer. But we didn’t – because it would have been bad for business and it would have send a signal to the slave workers of the world, that they are worth something, and we didn’t because we did not have to do it – because ‘the folks at home’ didn’t care – they didn’t see it either, because it was strategically placed out of their sight – serving only one purpose: to make the rich even richer. We are all caught in the same mess – and thus a Solution is required that first of all takes these people into consideration and account as Equals on this Earth. This Solution is an Equal Money System – not as an ideological utopian dream, but as a Practical, Livable Principled Solution, where we each and All take a Stand, deciding to Stop the atrocities and Change this world, so that we can Live together and Breathe together and share Everything that is Here. The European Cultural Elite is a figment of imagination, but it is also who we have tacitly accepted ourselves as, often in taking our position for granted, forgetting the process with which our riches is provided, how it is provided and who has suffered to provide it. The final proof is the condition of the Earth at large – and who each of us Accept ourselves to be.

http://equalmoney.org/

Tags: abuse, America, Ancient Greece, Business, Colonization, Company, Cultural Elite, Education, Elite, Equal Money, Equality, EU, Europe, European Culture, Heritage, History, Imperialism, Malaysia, Mars bar, Money, Nations, Nestle, Philosophy, Slaves, Superior, Workers, world
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