September 5, 2013 in Anna's Journey to Life
I am continuing from the previous post with investigating the point of Value in my life and specifically that which I’ve valued as being more important than life itself. I’ve been looking at how it is possible that we value things that are actually bad for us or that aren’t best and the point is simplistically that we’re brainwashed. Because Common Sense would be to take care of ourselves the best way possible wouldn’t it? And having a look at it, millions of people currently live in ways that certainly aren’t best for them apparently by ‘choice’. When I say that we’re brainwashed, it means that there exists a programmed script within us that overrides the common sense principle of what is best for all. We are valuing something that isn’t good for us, because there exists within us a part of us that believes that this is in fact good for us within a starting-point of a different agenda or understanding of what ‘good for us’ means. This is what is so cool with the principle of what is ‘Best for all’ because it is not something that can be debated or argued with. It is an ultimate principle, which means that anything less than what is best, indicates a flaw in the structure/programming. In my case we are for example here looking at my relationship with my physical body.
If I am not living in a way that is best for my physical body, it means that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a flawed programming govern me, which will eventually have consequences for the totality of myself. So what I found in the last blog-post was that I’ve developed a skewed view of what ‘Best’ is based on how I experienced this word as a child, where whenever my mother acted in the best interest of my physical body, I experienced it as restricting and restraining for my ability to move and enjoy myself freely. I couldn’t understand how this was in fact what was Best. And so I developed an alternative definition of what ‘Best’ is basically as ‘That which makes me feel good’ – not realizing that ‘Best’ is constituted by a consideration of the totality of one’s being – meaning that if it makes me feel good to eat candy, but I get a stomach ache then it isn’t best, even though it feels good. And this is definitely something I’ve not understood throughout my life, but it is also something that I’ve deliberately overridden when knew that something wasn’t best for me but I did it anyway. This is where the brainwashing becomes autonomous and automatic where we don’t even care if we’re harming ourselves or others, because we have made a decision to value that which makes us feel good as more important than what is best. I’ve found great support in understanding how I am governed by a programmed mind-reality – understanding that it is programming and not actual reality. Because I obviously understand for example that eating candy until I get a stomach ache isn’t good for me, but I’ve had trouble understanding what mechanism it is that makes me do it anyway and how to stop it. So now I’ve got a foundation of understanding the problem and can therefore direct myself to establishing a solution, which for example consists of reminding myself that the ‘urge’ that comes up to eat candy, even though I know that it will probably give me a stomach ache, is a flaw in my ability to value and as such that I must reset and reprogram how and what I value and thus make decisions based on. Something else that is fascinating about this point is that I’ve been judging myself for, for example mistreating my body even though I knew what I was doing. The consequence of this self-judgment was that I suppressed myself and I resisted facing the issue. I also resisted facing the issue, because I obviously valued for example eating candy (because it made me feel good) and didn’t want to give that up – hence the point of acting according to a brainwashed flaw in one’s value-system. However – within understanding the mechanisms that are at work here, I can work with the point and correct it self-directively. So – here we go:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I prioritize and value something that isn’t best for me or my physical body, that I am thus accepting and allowing myself to be directed and governed by a flawed set of principles that I have accepted and allowed myself to adhere to and submit to
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not ever question why I would value something that isn’t best for me or my physical body, but to instead take the value-system that I’ve created for myself for granted, going as far as vehemently defending and protecting it in my complete blind submission to it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize and understand in absolute self-honesty that when I accept and allow myself to value and live in a way that isn’t best for me or my physical body and so not best for all, then I am living according to a set of flawed principles that I’ve brainwashed myself into believing in, as these are not normal or natural but that I have and that has been indoctrinated into and as me through a flawed education and a flawed programming
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not, when and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to live according to values and principles that isn’t best for me, to actually go back through my life and locate the origin point of where I created this flawed principle or set of values – so that I can in fact understand how it is flawed how I’ve based my values on a misconception of reality so that I can accordingly correct and reprogram myself to live that which is in fact best for me, my physical body and so best for all
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I feel like I want to hold onto my flawed values, when I fear losing that which I’ve given value, when I resist giving up my flawed values – then it is in fact not me speaking, but an entity created from this flawed value-system that I’ve accepted as myself – in other words: that of/as myself that has submitted myself to this flawed value system
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that, that which makes me feel good takes precedence over all other values – not realizing how just because something makes me feel good, it doesn’t mean that it is best for me and within only prioritizing that which makes me feel good, I’ve limited my ability to value and set principles for myself, to a psychosomatic set of values wherein I haven’t taken the state of my physical body into consideration or care, nor the long term consequences of my values or the greater implications of my values at a global/existential level and also within this the consequence that me acting according to this value has in the lives of others
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make that which makes me feel good – as a positive energetic and physical experience of instant gratification my top priority in life, where everything else has had to fall in line with this single priority
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience and participate in an experience of resistance and refusal to give up my current value system – instead of investigating what that value system in fact consists of, what it’s based on and how I’ve created it so that I may realize how I’ve based my value system on a flawed perception of what matters in life and what is real and not
I forgive myself that I haven’t been willing to let go of my current value system of prioritizing that which makes me feel good and that which I’m used to valuing over that which is in fact best for me and so best for all
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when something that makes me feel good, has consequences of illness and physical pain in my body and when it has potential life-threatening long-term consequences, and when it has consequences in the lives of others and on an existential level – then it certainly isn’t worth it to pursue and by me still choosing it, there is something skewed and flawed in my ability to value and thus I must direct myself to place myself in a form of ‘quarantine’ where I don’t automatically trust my own reasoning until I am satisfied that I have corrected my ability to value and prioritize.
I forgive myself that I haven’t within my process thus far accepted or allowed myself to investigate this point of value and principles, because I could have saved myself a lot of time wasted and harming my physical body and creating consequences at a greater scale that I am not even yet consciously aware of
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself and to be ashamed and regret that I haven’t directed myself in self-honesty to understand this point of value until now, instead of seeing that what is relevant is that I get it and that I finally did bring myself to a realization about this point and so what matters from here on out is the process of correcting myself and taking responsibility according to this realization
In the next post I will commence with self-corrective statements and so walk the commitment to change my value system once and for all.
Investigate Desteni, investigate the forum where on is invited to write oneself out in self-honesty and where any questions regarding the Desteni Material will be answered by Destonians who are walking their own process. Visit the Destonian Network where videos and blogs are streamed daily. Suggest to also check out the Desteni I Process and Relationship courses as well as the FREE DIP Lite course
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