August 5, 2013 in Anna's Journey to Life
What does it mean to be important? Who is a truly important human being? It could be a guy who sat alone in his apartment and wrote a book from a starting-point of self-intimacy and self-expression that just happened to be found after his death and affected an entire generation of people to realize self-intimacy and self-expression for themselves through his example. He might have never known the importance he had – and it is not relevant, because it is the importance that is relevant – not the person.
Within the desire to be important, there is an implied underlying self-definition and self-acceptance of not being important, meaning not only a belief that self is not important but also an actual living of and as unimportance. Because if what I do is important, if who I am is important – there will obviously be no desire to be important. The desire to be important also manifests as a delusion of self-importance and a competition with others to be the one that is important. Then there is also the fear of not being important as well as an attempt to make self-important somehow, for example through a presentation of self or through fantasizing about it and imagining who one would be if one would be important. But interestingly enough, within the imagination of self being important it is an experience between “how I would experience myself” and “how others would see me.” Within this it is fascinating that there is absolutely no consideration of the point of actual importance. An example is how I in my life desired to be important and for example save the world or help other people or be some enlightened being that would inspire and influence others. But I didn’t in fact consider how exactly I would practically save the world or whether this would in fact be what is best, for example some being enlightening others and thus enslaving them and not actually assisting them, but sitting there as a shining star, a total embodiment of ego only existing to be praised and adored and admired. So importance within this context is not importance in fact. The desire for importance in this context is a cover-up because the point of importance is used to ‘justify’ that one wants power and to bask in the attention of others to blow oneself up within one’s own mind. It’s like a form of masturbation using other people to rub one’s ego.
So this is the key problem within the desire to be important. Because it is about desiring to BE SOMETHING and not about importance in fact. On can be important in other human beings lives, one can be important for the greater good of humanity or the earth, but there is also an aspect of importance – as self-importance that can be reversed from the self-interested definition to a definition where one is able to say that: “Becoming a living, breathing, dignified human being that lives based on the principle of what is best for all is how I am important to me, is the importance of how I will live, is what is important to me.”
So in a way, the desire for importance indicates that one has not yet given oneself a dignified purpose in life, because if one knows that what one is doing is important to the purpose one has given oneself, then there’s no need to now go and create an experience of being important.
Let’s have a look at the origin of the word ‘IMPORTANT’
mid-15c., from Middle French important and directly from Medieval Latin importantem (nominative importans), present participle of importare “be significant in,” from Latin importare “bring in” (see import). Related: Importantly.
early 15c., “convey information, express, make known, signify,” from Latin importare “bring in, convey,” from assimilated form of in- “into, in” (see in- (2)) + portare “to carry” (see port (n.1)). Sense of “bring in goods from abroad” first recorded c.1500. Related: Imported; importing.
So if we break it down, importance means to ‘bring in’ or ‘carry in’ or ‘be significant in’ – which then means that to live importance, to be important is to ‘be significant in’ matters that matter. And the only matter that matters is that which is best for all. And so within this being important means that which matters the most, that, which is of high/highest priority, that which must be given specific attention and consideration. And interestingly enough what is most important is certainly NOT ‘being important’. Being important is completely irrelevant. Obviously it is cool if someone comes up with a cure for cancer or a solution that can change the course we’re heading in on earth, but what matters is the importance of the matter – not the person. As such it is revealed that the desire to be important, is a desire of ego, of personality, of self-interest – that is directly oblivious to what is actually important in the world. Obviously one of the ways that the desire to be important is infused into our minds, is through the glorification of ‘leaving a legacy’ and fame.
So if one desires to be important – it means that one has not yet stood one and equal to what is actually important in this world and therefore that one is still existing in a tiny bubble in one’s mind called “ME”.
This is what I will be walking self-forgiveness on here as I have seen the desire to be important within myself emerge as this bizarre point that has nothing to do with what is important in fact.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let a desire to be important to exist within and as me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, think and define it as good and positive to want to be important
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see and define myself as important within the mind – within and as this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and manifest a character of self-importance that I have lived out through the mind, through thoughts, fantasies, backchat and imagination
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and manifest an experience within and as myself of feeling important based on having accumulated thoughts, backchat, fantasies and imaginations about myself as being important
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel, experience and believe myself to be superior to others within and as defining and identifying myself as important
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the definition that I have created of and as myself as being important only exists within and is based on me believing my own imagination that I have conjured up and energized for myself while not in any way cross-referencing the importance that I saw within myself in actual physical reality
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trigger and activate and accept and allow a positive energetic experience of superiority to exist within and as me when and as I am assigned or requested to take on a task or a responsibility within my world by another where I would immediately also see others who did not receive the same task or responsibility as inferior to me and not important
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trigger and activate and accept and allow a positive energetic experience of superiority to exist within and as me when I have written a blog that I am satisfied with where I within that moment of ‘recognizing’ myself as important within the mind’s eye, experiencing myself being lifted above other people, like towering over them where I feel all self-important
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for experiencing myself as important after I have written a blog and I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for being so delusional that I would feel important because I have written a blog
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even write blogs from a starting-point of wanting to get high on the feeling of being important
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that when my experience of feeling important dissipates as quickly as it activated it is obviously not a real importance, hence also the fact that it is an emotional experience and not an actual real substantiated importance within making an actual difference in the world
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive and delude myself into believing that I am important just because I feel important, just because I imagine and fantasize about being important – without ever having cross-referenced my actual importance in my world and my reality – let alone my own importance to and within myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that that which I defined as ‘being important’ was really just my own delusional experience of wanting to feeling superior and special and more than others and more than who and what I’ve believed and accepted myself to be
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create, manifest and participate in a desire to be important within the process of changing/’saving’ the world, not seeing, realizing or understanding how this desire to be important was never about changing or saving the world in fact, but about how I wanted to experience myself within and as a positive energetic state of superiority and power
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use and indulge in spirituality and new-age-propaganda because within and as that I had something to latch my desire to be more-than and special onto where I could justify it as real and make sense of it in my mind, let alone let the fantasies and imaginations roam free
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately participate in spirituality with the purpose of feeling important and special and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify and deceive myself into believing that I was participating in spirituality because I wanted to save the world, when in fact all I wanted was to feel good within and as myself, feel powerful, feel special and important
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to see, realize and understand that energetic experiences, whether positive or negative are generated within and as the mind – through my full consensus and total obedience and participation – with the sole purpose of generating energy from the physical for the mind to sustain itself.
Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself a complete and total slave of the mind by accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to and be addicted to the energetic experiences that I’ve generated through/as/within my participation in the mind
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that nothing of what I have ever thought or believed about myself within and as the mind has been real – whether positive or negative self-definitions
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as important when and as I saw that I was moving in process – or rather that I understood points, that I could see more than I could before and within this, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to activate and trigger the experience of being important and more-than others/more than I was before every time I have seen myself move in process – when in fact I hadn’t changed at all. There were simply some points that was easier for me to understand and comprehend than others which had nothing to do with my apparent importance or advancement in process, but simply had to do with my preprogrammed mind-set as well as my natural expression within certain skills and practices
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use spirituality to delude and deceive myself completely into and as a state and character of self-importance, especially within believing in destiny and that there’s a ‘meaning with everything’
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within and as my spiritual delusion to delude myself into believing that I was ‘straight up source’ when I was reading and speaking to people about ‘indigo children’ and ‘star seeds’ where I deceived myself into believing that I must be coming ‘straight from source’ and thus that I am the most special and important being that has ever existed – lol
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, in my most delusional spiritual state accept and allow myself to believe that I could influence people with my ‘spiritual awareness’ and ‘support them’ through sending ‘good vibrations’ while never having actually ever changed, let alone understood myself or anything real about this existence or myself or the mind
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am important within the greater scheme of things and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately suck up all the books and videos I watched about spirituality because they confirmed my desire to be special and important
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to even participate in group delusions-of-grandeur where we would confirm for each other that each other is special and where I would say to others that they were important and special because within that I could use the group to feed my desire to feel important and special
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when I was on a retreat with a spiritual group, feel unsatisfied with not being the center of attention or being given a special role and so when I asked the ‘guru’/’channeler’ who I was in a past life and he said that I was a Lemurian queen and that I was his sister, to change how I experienced myself immediately to feel important and special without ever considering or caring about whether this was real in fact or not because all that mattered to me was to get the fix of feeling that I was special and important
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the only real importance that exist is that which serves what is best for all life and that in the context of what is important – it is a matter of urgency that we stop the mind and get back to reality so that we can sort this world out and what is important in fact is that billions of beings are suffering and endure horrendous abuse every second of every minute of every day and that we’re virtually at the brink of destroying this world – - and so importance doesn’t mean anything special or more than – it simply means that there are matters in this world that requires our urgent and diligent attention and within this everybody is equally important because we’re collective creating this world together and within and as us as individuals changing ourselves and becoming important within the context of changing this world, it is in fact something that we should have done from the beginning, something that is insane that we haven’t done already and therefore what is important as what is best for all should be a normal practice practiced by every being on earth and that certainly doesn’t deserve anyone a medal or a handshake or a gold star of any kind
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the most important things I will ever do, the most important I will ever be, might not ever be seen or recognized or spoken about by anyone, because it will simply be within the context of participating in establishing a world – and a self – that is best for all, which is something that deserves absolutely no appraisals or salutes because it ought to be the very baseline of our living
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never consider how importance could simply be me taking care of the matters at hand as myself, as what is most important for me to do/live/exist as to be best for me and thus best for all
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never actually see my own importance to my own life and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never even investigate what IS in fact important in my life and in the lives of everyone
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I have created the desire to be important and the coinciding delusion of grandeur character that I am important from within and as a starting-point of feeling and believing myself to be absolutely worthless and insignificant, in my own life, in myself as well as in the world as a whole
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a desire to be important, because I had absolutely no importance in myself or in my own life and because my life itself had no importance
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize or understand that the reason why I had no importance and the reason why my life had no importance was because I didn’t see what was important in fact: as becoming self-honest with ourselves about who we are and how we have created this reality and how we have abdicated ourselves to a simulated delusion of life as the mind that exists for no other purpose than it’s own survival while we’ve done nothing but to destroy ourselves as life through separating ourselves from our own substance and how the solution is to create a world-system that serves that which is best for all and from there birth life from the physical and bring all the pieces of ourselves back together, back home from the delusion we have banished ourselves into and as
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that for me to be important, I must live according to that which is important in fact and that won’t define me as important or special. It won’t give me any rewards or energetic kicks. It simply means doing what is necessary to be done and becoming what is necessary to become to stop the nightmare-delusion we’ve made our reality and start over from nothingness creating a life for and as ourselves where no one has to suffer and we can discover what life is without the confinements of the mind
When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to activate and go into and as the self-important character, as indicated by an energetic experience within and as me of feeling proud of myself an feeling like I’m towering over other people and towering even over ‘who’ I believed and accepted myself to be before the moment where I stepped into the self-important character, I stop and I breathe and I bring myself back here to the stability of my physical body. Because I see, realize and understand that feeling important has nothing to do with actual importance and that the reason why I feel important is because I have defined being important as superior and special. And I see, realize and understand also that the only reason why I would accept and allow myself to exist within and as an energetic state is because I have abdicated myself to the mind and thus exist in/as the mind for the mind’s purpose of surviving, while sucking the life out of myself as the physical body. Therefore – I commit myself to stop the self-important character and I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to accept and allow energetic experiences to exist within and as me. I see, realize and understand that there is only one single point that is important and that is to create a world that is best for all and to stop the mind and get back to the physical. And I see, realize and understand that me acting according to what is best for all, doesn’t make me important as a person that is different from, more than or more special than everyone else. I release the energetic signature that I have given to the word “Important” as a positively energetically charged word defined as ‘superior’ and ‘special’ and I commit myself to redefine the word important to: “the relevant matters at hand.” “That which is prioritized” in the context of what is best for all – as a practical statement of prioritization and nothing more and nothing less. I commit myself to give myself the purpose of stopping the mind within and as prioritizing that which is important to all life: to create a world and a self that is best for all. I commit myself to stop indulging in self-importance and to change my focus to the matters at hand, being a support, assistance and example for all that is walking the process of stopping the mind and creating a world that is best for all and to walk this process for and as myself absolutely until it is done.
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