Travelling at The Speed of Light of the Mind: DAY 160

December 31, 2012 in Anna's Journey to Life

agostino arrivabene 011 Travelling at The Speed of Light of the Mind: DAY 160“The longest journey is the journey inwards. Of him who has chosen his destiny, Who has started upon his quest for the source of his being.”

– Dag Hammarskjold

This is the first of my blog posts writing out the Mind Movement Character. I’ve experienced resistance to writing it could so that is cool because I show myself that it is for sure relevant to write out. I am writing the point out in a detailed structure here so as to get to the bottom of myself because this is a pattern/point/personality that I’ve been writing about extensively since I started walking this process in 08-09 and it is to some extent still a mystery to me. It is interesting because I’ve been so focused on the Fear of Being Here and then with this Q and A I shared in my last blog I came to see – once again in greater detail – how it is actually not a fear but a desire and a holding-onto. So I am going to reverse the point and instead of looking at the fear of being here, I will look at the desire to constantly move myself.

The first point I will be walking is the thoughtdimension. For context, here is the introduction blog post I wrote where I’ve listed all the dimensions of the Character: The Mind Movement Character – Introduction: DAY 159

Character Dimensions

Thought:

Seeing myself shooting forward through the universe away from darkness and stillness into light and sound

“As much horror as we have always created, we are a species that keeps moving forward, seeing new sights in new ways, and enjoying the journey.”

Martha Beck

resize.php  Travelling at The Speed of Light of the Mind: DAY 160Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist and define myself according to an image of seeing myself shooting through the universe in an explosion of light (there’s no sound in the image so it is more an image of sound) that I’ve defined as excitement and exploration

I listened to an interview today from Anu where he talks about how one of the reasons one does not change and stand up absolutely is because of holding onto a hope. He then came with some suggestions like people hoping for Jesus or Aliens to come and save the planet. But my hope, I realized, is that I can still get skinny, catch the perfect man, have children and a successful and have a happy life. It was utterly absurd to see in the context of what Anu was talking about, that my inner world is so small, so limited and narrow. Anyways so this fit quite well with this analogy of shooting through the universe, because it could be an analogy of sperm shooting through the vagina. It could also be me shooting through ‘life’ and then ‘life’ is the universe with all it’s colors and sounds, like a consumer universe fantasy. And so in the image it is like I look back over my shoulder and see darkness and then I shoot myself out into the universe towards the light. Another similar version is that I am shooting off but it is with this constant awareness of running away from something. And you know something interesting as well, is that there’s no end goal or point. It is ‘all about the journey’. Lol

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold within and as myself an image of shooting through the universe which when I recall and activate within and as I myself I experience excitement and myself as aroused within the fast paced movement of myself in light and an image of sound

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach a positive energetic experience to the image of shooting through the universe at high speed in light and sound not seeing, realizing or understanding how getting caught in the light and the excitement is in fact a deliberate diversion from and polarity to the opposite as the starting-point of myself as darkness, silence towards which I’ve attached a negative energetic experience based on which I had to create a polar opposite because the positive and the negative are interdependent

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live based on the image of shooting through the universe at rapid speed, sound and light as a positive connecting it to the words ‘journey’, ‘discovery’ ‘exploring’ and ‘free’ in particular as the words that I made religious doctrine within and as myself as words I HAD TO follow and attempt to become through living the motion of constantly shooting through the universe

(I will continue with self-forgiveness on this thought image and how I came to define my life according to this image in my next blog post)

Thanks for walking-with.

Art by Agostino Arrivabene

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 Travelling at The Speed of Light of the Mind: DAY 160