Resistance is Futile but Prevention is the Best Cure: DAY 154

December 11, 2012 in Anna's Journey to Life, Uncategorized

Humanoid Experiments Resistance is Futile but Prevention is the Best Cure: DAY 154The last couple of days I’ve been in a ‘funk’ of sorts after having made the decision to walk through particular points of resistance, fear and addiction. After last week where I wrote about the resistance to going out and meeting people, where I decided to push the point, I started experiencing massive resistance, that culminated in this ‘deer-in-the-headlights-funk’ where I’ve experienced myself as being unable to move myself. So I am here now to write out a prescription for myself for prevention so that I can ‘face the music’ that comes with walking through resistances, fear and addictions where one will or might face such resistances towards walking through the points that come up. Here I will therefore continue walking the point I started with in my last blog which has to do with not pushing through resistances. Or rather how to prevent myself from not pushing through resistances.

The following are the previous posts that comes prior to this one and for context, I recommend reading them:

Without further ado I’ll jump straight in:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, experience and convince myself that it is easier and more convenient to not push through a particular point of resistance/fear/addiction simply because of the fact that I then don’t have to change myself or do something new but can remain existent within and as the box of limitations as fear that I’ve created myself into and as

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only move myself according to backchat not seeing, realizing, understanding or asking myself where this backchat comes from and whether it is best for me to act according to it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to submit myself to backchat – where I submit myself to the inner conversations I carry out in my head within and as submerging myself into and as them accepting that these internal conversations and what they say is all I am where as I submerge myself more and more into the backchat the physical reality becomes blurry and irrelevant and all I care about is satisfying my backchat

When and as I see that I in the moment of facing the opportunity to push and walk through a particular point of resistance are accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as backchat and experiences that it is easier to not push through the resistance, I stop and I breathe and I stop myself from participating in this backchat and experience. Because I see, realize and understand that the idea and belief that it is easier to not push through is a ‘built-in’ justification mechanism in the point of resistance that would trigger and be activated only in those moments where I actually allow myself to see that I have the opportunity to push through a resistance and where I see that it would be best for me, so these points of backchat are those something I use to manipulate myself into not push through the resistance through using a point of manipulation that I am ‘weak’ towards which is a desire, want and need for things to be easy and not difficult and basically what I am saying to myself is that if I don’t push through this resistance and thus accept it as ‘intact’ like a box I accept to be enclosing me, then I won’t have to face fear – as I accept the fear to limit me, the fear will ‘back off’ because there’s no longer a danger imminent – all of this of course only playing out as fuzzy logic of the mind. And I also see, realize and understand that deciding to not walk through a point of resistance, addiction or fear (which is essentially the same) is NOT in fact easier, even though it might provide an experience of instant gratification based on postponement but in the bigger picture of one’s life and experiences and in general short cuts are by default detours because there is no shortcuts to a good and happy life. Either we direct ourselves to change or we will keep facing the same shit in greater and greater density until we do. So therefore I commit myself to assist and support myself to, in those moments where I face the opportunity of pushing through a point of resistance, fear or addiction – to push myself and to remind myself that even though it seems easier to not push through, this is not so in fact and that I have to face this point sooner or later anyway.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize or understand how I am constantly participating in backchat and therefore within and as that how automated it has become for me to constantly speak to myself in my mind about who I am and about what I am going to do and what I fear doing and how I don’t even notice

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let backchat as inner conversation in my head where I speak to myself be my directive principle for how I move and as ‘who’ I move throughout my day where I have literally accepted myself as being unable to move simply because I said so to myself inside my head and accepted and allowed myself to ignite myself into more and more of a funk instead of stopping up seeing, realizing and understanding that all that is required for me to stop this experience, is to breathe and simply not accept it as real.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I can’t move myself as long as I accept and allow backchat to be that which I determine when, how and as who I should move because moving myself in fact here in the physical I am doing within making a decision to move myself in self-honesty as what is best for all whereas moving myself according to backchat is about not changing, about only doing what feels good, about generating energy for the mind

 Resistance is Futile but Prevention is the Best Cure: DAY 154So when and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to change how I move and experience myself according to the inner conversations that I am accepting and allowing in my head where I am literally driving myself into a funk – I push myself to stop and breathe. I push myself to see, realize and understand that the only form of movement or non-movement that is real and valid is when I move myself here in and as the physical and that any form of movement that is initiated or inhibited through mind-processes of thoughts, backchat or experiences first of all are not real and second of all are not what is best for me because the agenda of the mind is single-minded like a cancer-cell which is to just exist as it is and for nothing and no one else to exist – and I see, realize and understand that as long as I accept and allow myself to be directed by the mind instead of directing myself I will not be here as life and I will not expand or develop myself but only deteriorate into and as the restraining box of fear that I’ve accepted as myself. And so I commit myself to assist and support myself to breathe through the experiences of fear and resistance that come up as I am in the process of pushing through resistances, fears and addictions and I commit myself to see, realize and understand that even know experiences might come up that I experience as physical because I experience them within and as my body, these experiences are in fact not physical as physical pain or harm and therefore I can stop them and change my experience of myself. And as such I commit myself to change my experience of myself through breathing and not accepting or allowing the experiences of fear to fester within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize or understand how talking behind my own back in my head is exactly the same as mean-spirited gossip and bullying where children gang up on each other where I am completely disregarding the physical and only listen to myself as the loud pounding voices in my head along the emotional experiences and thoughts as images that comes up in my head

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not assist or support myself in self-directed self-honesty to understand, see and realize in absolute clarity and certainty that the words I speak within and as backchat as literal talking behind my own back is not real, but is in fact mean-spirited bullying basically because the mind knows that it is less than the physical and so it deliberately pulls the physical down so as to remain in power and control and this is then done by all the various parts of the mind, like kids in a school yard bullying that one kid who is actually the smartest but who ends up accepting himself to be a total loser

When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as backchat I stop and I breathe and I quiet myself. Because I see, realize and understand that back chatting is no different than mean spirited bullying and just like with mean-spirited bullying where children gang up on each other the purpose is to break down the one that is bullied often because the bullies feel inferior and therefore push the one that is bullied down so as to oppress them and win over them and therefore the purpose of me back chatting inside my own head is a farm of self-bullying where I am deliberately trying to break myself down as beingness in and as the physical. And so therefore I commit myself to stop bullying myself in my mind through backchat to break myself down and I commit myself to stand as that point of no longer accepting or allowing bullying within and as myself through which I’ve abused and oppressed myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize or understand how all backchat is exactly the same and exists for the exact same purpose: to make sure that I don’t move or change myself and risk stepping out of the mind which is exactly what is the result of me participating in backchat is that I don’t move myself and I become lazy, apathetic and complacent

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize or understand how I through my participation in backchat am sabotaging myself in my daily living and preventing myself to live to the fullest of my potential because the purpose of the backchat is self-manipulation, self-restraint and limitation where I am literally pulling myself in and closing in on myself instead of expanding myself

When and as I see that I am not moving myself effectively or consistently or with ease, I stop and I breathe. Because I see, realize and understand that this indicates that I’ve been participating in backchat over a period of time and that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to abdicate myself to this backchat and so when and as I see that I am apathetic, lazy or complacent I know that it is because I’ve abdicated myself to backchat. As such I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to be apathetic, depressed, lazy and complacent because I see, realize and understand that it is the consequence of me bullying myself in my mind through backchat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize or understand how I through my participation in backchat am sabotaging myself in my daily living and preventing myself to live to the fullest of my potential because the purpose of the backchat is self-manipulation, self-restraint and limitation where I am literally pulling myself in and closing in on myself instead of expanding myself

I commit myself to see, realize and understand that I’ve been using backchat to deliberately restrain and limit myself and as such that I am not being good to myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that within writing the point out and committing myself to stopping the backchat all was good and I would now be fine instead of seeing, realizing and understanding how I literally have to re-brainwash myself exactly how I’ve brainwashed myself into creating and listening to the backchat to the point where I’ve automated the backchat by accepting it as who I am and so to stop existing in and as the backchat I have to consistently and actively stop believing it

Hiiragi Resistance is Futile 1024x682 Resistance is Futile but Prevention is the Best Cure: DAY 154When and as I see that I’ve written a point out or where I experience that its going well and that I it is done, I stop and I breathe and I bring myself back here. Because I see, realize and understand that realigning myself to a new way of living is a constant and consistent process of application where I literally have to re-brainwash myself and reprogram myself to a new way of living that does not simply change overnight or because I say so but only with self-directed and dedicated application. So I commit myself let go of the belief that I can quick-fix myself by simply writing things out or by feeling it or by saying it to myself and I commit myself to instead as I commit myself to walk through a particular point to remain consistent within my application and when and as I see after a few weeks that the point has not changed, I commit myself to go back and write out more dimensions of the point as that would indicate that I have not walked all the dimensions yet through my initial writing and as such I have a here a structure that I can utilize as I walk through points that comes up where I ensure that I walk with myself through each point to actually change it

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed to not want to move myself and to not want to change myself and I want to only remain like this as who I am within and as my backchat and I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted or allowed myself to push through because this is all I accept myself as where I don’t see, realize, understand or realize to full extent as to why and how I accept and allow myself to be who I am

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I’ll remain exactly as who I am now if I don’t make the active and self-directive decision to change myself beginning with simply stopping participation in and endorsement of backchat within and as my mind

When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as an experience of resistance towards pushing through resistance where I’d experience that I simply don’t want to, I stop myself and I breathe. Because I see, realize and understand now that not wanting to change is simply yet another build-in defense mechanism of the mind that only ‘works’ because I am accepting and allowing myself to prescribe worth and value to the backchat and experiences that comes up in and through the mind and that I’ve accepted as the totality of who I am. And so I commit myself to stop resisting pushing through resistances, fears and addictions and I commit myself to not participate in the experience of not wanting to change, because I see, realize and understand now that changing myself is a decision I make and as such it does not matter whether I want to or not.

I see, realize and understand that within the principle of resistance it is so that when one gives into the resistance, it grows to double size and it becomes more difficult to push through and when one then gives in again it grows four times in size and intensity and the same is so the other way around – so when one does in fact push through the resistance also becomes half as intense. And I also see, realize and understand that resistance does not exist anywhere but in my own mind – and this means that I can change and stop my experiences of resistance because I am the one creating them – and they are completely unnecessary and as such I commit myself to challenge myself to push through all resistances and to see, realize and understand for myself and show to others how simplistically it in fact is to push through resistance. It is simply a matter of doing it and the more one does it, the more the wall of mind-fuck cracks and a breath of fresh air as common sense self-honesty can pass through and open up one’s inner airways.

Thanks.

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Creation’s Journey to Life, Earth’s Journey to Life and Heaven’s Journey to Life.

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 Resistance is Futile but Prevention is the Best Cure: DAY 154

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