Today I had a chat with my Desteni I Process (DIP) buddy. The DIP buddy is a person who walks with you through-out the DIP course and has regular chats about one’s process and the walking of the course in general. This is a tremendous support as one walk one’s daily participation and often do not ‘see the wood for the trees’ and so it is cool that there is someone who has dedicated themselves to walking-with and who can assist with bringing whatever point one is walking back to practicality – and back to breath.
The chat I had with my buddy today was one of such chats. Not a lot of words were exchanged, nor were they needed. The point that came up was obvious – so simplistically obvious, yet in that moment I did not see them for myself and as such I am grateful that my buddy was here to walk-with me and assist me in stopping up and giving myself a moment to breathe. A lot of points I am facing at the moment, are outshoots of this particular point that again links back to the point I am walking in these blogs of bringing myself back to breath.
My buddy (lol – typo: body) assisted me to see how I am participating in a projected idea, where I am constantly pushing myself to match this idea and because of that exist in a constant state of anxiety. When she said this, a ‘bubble’ burst inside me and I experienced a ‘release’.
When I say that it was an experience, it is thus not yet a self-directed decision of letting go, but more something that happened automatically. I’ve experienced this many times when supported by Destonians where they literally walk-with me in a moment where I am not walking-with myself and in that moment, I ‘meet’ myself or come back to myself – in this case, came back from the high-strung rush to reach this fucking ideal in my mind, that, the more I chase after it, the more it eludes me to ‘higher’ and ‘higher’ levels, where I experience myself becoming smaller and smaller yet do not try to stop chasing it, because I’m consumed within this chase to ‘reach to the top’. So I met myself. I came down to earth for a moment and was assisted in bringing myself back to breath.
It does not cease to surprise me how obvious points can be and how ‘thickheaded’ I can be, literally walking around in a wetsuit filled with water, not understanding why I feel so wet and heavy. Lol – it is like that. In and through this point of chasing the projection, I also experience a constant feeling of inadequacy and being not good enough. This point – as it is so constant – is obviously also a major reason of why I am not breathing effectively, however it is also because I am not breathing effectively, that I even accept and allow myself to begin chasing projections in the first place. Because as I’ve learned through walking these blogs, if one is breathing effectively – there’s no ‘room’ for bullshit. There can thus also only be room for bullshit, if one is not breathing effectively. The question would then be, as I’ve asked in a previous blog: why am I prioritizing existing in and as a ‘space’ made up of bullshit? And so the solution is so utterly simplistic: I need to sloooooooooooooooooooooooooooow dowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwn.
Slowing down does not mean that I will be less effective, because I’ve seen clearly for myself that the more I try to rush to chase the projected idea of myself in my mind, the less effective I actually become. And when I slow down – direct myself here, in one point of participation at a time, nice and steady, consistent – I move at pace where I can ‘keep up’ with myself, which means that I am walking-with – and not in front of or behind myself, trying to run from and to ideas about ‘who I am’ in my mind.
The more I chase, the less I achieve and then I chase more and the result is a massive build-up of anxiety, frustration and emotions and from there ‘its anyone’s game’ in terms of possible possessions and experiences I might go into. And so the more I try to be more, the less I actually experience myself as. So now I am going to make a commitment to stop rushing and to slow myself down.
And this chat with my buddy assisted me to see this – which is of tremendous value, because how many of us are not running around in mental hamster-wheels, in infinite circles that simply does not stop because we’ve created a loop – a literal loop – that can last weeks, months, years and life-times, if something or someone does not come along and say: “Hey! You do realize that this hamster wheel you’re running around in, is not real and that you can in fact step out at any time right?”
And so I am grateful to the people who are walking-with in this process, as each walk by themselves, as I am the only one who can make the decision to stop the hamster wheel in self-honesty, and together as we walk together and can assist and support each other to stop and breathe and ask ourselves those questions through which we can dissolve the delusional mazes of the mind.
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Suggest reading Creation’s Journey to Life, Earth’s Journey to Life and Heaven’s Journey to Life. Join us at Desteni, support is available on forum on how to write oneself out in self-honesty and where any questions regarding the Desteni Material will be answered by Destonians who are walking their own process. Visit the Destonian Network where videos and blogs are streamed daily. Suggest to also check out the Desteni I Process and Relationship courses for extended training and support. Walk with us in implementing an Equal Money System as a new System on Earth based on Equality as what is Best for All.