September 12, 2012 in Anna's Journey to Life
I am here scripting/prescribing the final self-commitment and self-corrective statements for myself to apply within my practical reality in stepping out of and deleting the Consumption Character. I’ll summarize here what I’ve found to be at the core of the Consumption Character: Fear of loss. The Consumption character is being lived out in a ‘drive’ to Consume where the act of Consuming can be a positive energetic experience, but it’s always done with the knowing/belief that one is losing/lacking as a negative experience. (Sunette is walking this from an existential perspective in her blogs, so definitely suggest reading those.)
And so all I’ve lived for is to consume, consume, consume, to fill my hole up and prevent myself from leaking/lacking believing that if I just keep consuming eventually I will be/become ‘complete’, ‘full’, ‘satisfied’ and ‘whole’. But the more I’ve consumed the bigger the ‘hole I’ve been leaking from’ has become and then I had to consume more. I’ve consumed anything at any cost, money, my relationship with myself and others, my physical body primarily as it is through my physical body that I’ve been able to manifest and justify my Consumption Character as real through instigating physical experiences as ‘urges/wants/needs’. However the ‘hole’ I’ve experienced inside me, as the dark side of the Consumption Character, the part that the Consumption Character has to avoid at all costs, yet which is its core, has never been physically manifested in/as my body. Such an equivalent would be similar to how cats get worms that digest/alter the food inside them where they become really skinny no matter how much they eat. But this ‘worm’ is a delusional/illusional character in my mind. However – when looking out into the world system, the relationship within of the Consumption Character exist between the ‘haves’ and the ‘have-not’s’ of the world. The more one part Consume and take, the less another has. And here are people that are literally starving and lacking from the moment they are born – concretely, physically – real. And it’s because of Who I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be and become, in my hunt for MORE of ME and the subsequent fear of losing MORE of me through which I’ve ‘motivated’ myself to always TAKE MORE (just in case).
This is in continuation to:
Gluttony: DAY 107The All-Consuming Monster of Self: DAY 106The MORE We Consume, The LESS We Live: DAY 105We Created the Gina Rineharts of this World: DAY 104
Consuming Life To Live Life: DAY 99
I CONsuME: DAY 98
The Consumption Character: DAY 97
Stepping out of the Temptation Character: DAY 96
And Lead us not into Temptation, but Deliver us from Evil: Day 95
The Temptation Character: Day 94
Desire to Connect/Fear of not Connecting with Others: DAY 88
Oneness According to The Jealousy Character: DAY 87
‘My Precious’ Addiction Redefined (PART 2): DAY 53
Gollum, Sméagol and ‘My Precious’ Addiction (PART 1): DAY 52
Addicted to Abuse of Substance (Part 2): DAY 48
Addiction as ‘Life’ (Part 1) DAY 47
Give ME MORE or I’ll Throw a TANTRUM! (Part 3): DAY 46
More IS Less (Part 2): DAY 45
MORE Wants MORE Wants MORE (Part 1): DAY 44
As I’ve been writing this series on the consumption character, it has seemed to me like a HEAVY point to walk – lol – as it has just kept opening up and up and I realize, see and understand that it is because the Consumption Character is exactly an all-consuming character that we’ve assumed for ourselves and lived as ourselves. So of course it is not something to be done with in a couple of blog posts. Since I’ve been writing about it, there have also emerged points of consumption that I did not see before in how we’re literally consuming our way through existence, consuming other people and consuming sex and obviously how we literally in/as the mind are consuming the physical.
So I will here walk the final part in this series, with the understanding that the Consumption Character is a character that we will have to walk through, forgive, release and step out of in taking self-responsibility and transforming it to a way of living and existing on earth where we honor life and life in a way that is best for all with all life forms that are here in equality and oneness.
When and as I see that I am experiencing a want/need/desire to consume something externally, I stop. I breathe and I look at whether it is a physical need/requirement or whether my desire/want/need to consume is mind-based. When and as I see that my want/need/desire to consume is mind-based, where there is no physical requirement for me to nurture myself – I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here in self-integrity in and as my physical body in and as the decision and dedication of/as myself to stand up as life in equality and oneness as what is best for all.
I see, realize and understand that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate in the consumption character, I’ll be existing within and as an experience of lack/loss/less because that is what I have accepted myself as within and as the starting-point of the consumption character and as such the more I hunt/search/yearn/urge for something/someone outside and separate from me as external to fulfill/complete/satisfy me and ‘make me whole’ I will never in fact discover or realize or accept myself as whole and complete here in and as myself – through the self-directive decision of bringing myself back together from/as/within the points of and as myself that I’ve separated myself into and as
I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application investigate how/what it is I have separated myself from/as through which I’ve created the want/need/desire within me to consume something externally to ‘regain’ myself
When and as I see and notice that I am experiencing a physical sensation of feeling ‘drawn/attracted’ to a specific form of consumption through an experience of saliva in my mouth and a feeling similar to hunger in my stomach but where it is obvious to me that it is NOT a physical body requirement or nurturing or self-enjoyment – I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here in self-integrity in and as my physical body in the decision and dedication of/as myself to stand up as life in equality and oneness as what is best for all
When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to step into the consumption character through a survival reaction where my eyes are pinching, my shoulders, arms and chest pulling together and my legs as numb and as such within and as that go into and as ‘survival mode’ towards the point of consumption where I believe that I must consume at all costs to survive/live/exist – I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here in self-integrity in and as my physical body in the decision and dedication of/as myself to stand up in equality and oneness as what is best for all.
I see, realize and understand that I, as the mind, as the system I’ve abdicated myself to, to live FOR me, have superimposed it/myself in and onto the physical body in infusing it/myself into and onto the physical and through that have used the physical to satisfy my desire of/as the mind to generate energy for myself to survive/exist and have used the physical as my scapegoat/justification in blaming the physical for my wants/needs/desires and as such abdicate myself from myself in separating myself as mind, physical and beingness
I commit myself to stop abusing/using the physical for the mind to generate energy to sustain itself and I commit myself to stop blaming the physical for my addictions and urges in/of/as the mind when it is in fact entirely obvious whether something is a physical requirement of nutriment or whether it is a mind-imposed want/need/desire to consume the physical in self-interest
I commit myself to stop abdicating myself to the mind and I commit myself to stop abdicating my responsibility for the mind through blaming the physical and I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application assist and support myself to align myself here within and as my physical body in oneness and equality as I take responsibility for myself as mind, body and beingness and make a directive decision of WHO I am in every moment to become a being that lives in equality and oneness with what is here
I see, realize and understand that I through, creating, manifesting, stepping into and accepting myself as the consumption character, have accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow an existence and a world that is based on consumption of life based on my own acceptance of me having to consume life to be/get/have life where what is manifested is the destruction, annihilation, abuse and depletion of life where no one is in fact living because we’re not living as a whole in equality and oneness and that as long as I accept and allow myself as the consumption character, this is the world that I will continue creating.
I commit myself to show and expose the consumption character and the consequences of us accepting and allowing ourselves to exist within and as the consumption character in what we create in and as this world through the consumption character and to show and assist and support those who are willing to listen that it is not necessary for us to live through/as the consumption character because we’re in fact through the consumption character manifesting a world and a self that is NOT alive because the very foundation of the consumption character is the deliberate separation of ourselves as life and the subsequent greed/desire to regain ourselves as life in/as that which we’ve separated ourselves from/into/as – and I commit myself to show and to become an example of how it is possible to live without competing with others to survive and to exist in an equilibrium of mutual unconditional support with all life as ourselves and as such create a world that is best for all as equal and one
I see, realize and understand that I, through the creation, participation in, manifestation and justification and acceptance of myself as the Consumption Character have accepted and allowed myself to create and be responsible for the inequality existing on this earth, between human beings and between human beings and the rest of life, where I through the consumption character, have justified myself as having a ‘right’ to consume and use and abuse the earth and life in and as the physical because of the starting-point of only caring about and considering my survival as a separate individual entity within and as having separated myself from myself as life and as such annihilated myself in and as that process
I commit myself to show how we through the consumption character, where we take more than what we require to physically sustain ourselves, where we consume substance and physical life to transform into energy to sustain ourselves as the mind, where we abuse the physical just so that we can consume – are manifesting a world in absolute despair and suffering and abuse for absolutely no practical or common-sensical reason and as such I commit myself to show that it is possible to live in a way where we don’t have to destroy and abuse life just so that we can sustain ourselves and that this means stopping our abdication of ourselves to the mind and taking back self-responsibility for ourselves and our creation of and as ourselves and to create a new world system – the Equal Money System – that is based on the same principle we change ourselves to of transforming who we are and how we live to systems of equality as what is best for all
I see, realize and understand that I’ve taken my ability to consume for granted within only experiencing myself in my relationship to those in my immediate environment where I have absolutely no regard or consideration for the rest of the world, the humans, the animals and the earth where I have never realized, seen or understood that my ability to consume is entirely dependent upon money and my access to money that I equally took for granted without question because all I cared for and was concerned about was myself and my own survival/life-situation and I see, realize and understand that I through taking my ability to consume for granted and thus my access to money, I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard everyone else in the world in not seeing, realizing or understanding how my ability to consume and have access to money is connected to everyone else and thus how some are not able to sustain themselves and I also see, realize and understand that I have thus accepted and allowed that all humans who have access to money and thus the ability to consume takes this for granted without questioning the consequences for all life on earth
I see, realize and understand that taking my ability to consume and thus my access to money for granted as a ‘birth right’ as ‘this is how it is and have always been’ I’ve accepted and allowed myself to deliberately justify the abuse and suffering of countless beings as well as of the earth as a whole
I commit myself to show and share that how we take our ability to consume for granted and within that take our access to money for granted, we are abdicating responsibility for the economic systems of the world and for the consumption/consumer systems and industries believing that this is ‘natural’ and ‘normal’ and thus justify and accept the suffering, starvation and abuse of countless beings in the world including the earth as a whole
I see, realize and understand that I within taking my ability to consume for granted and within it my access to money I’ve accepted and allowed myself to consume without every considering or caring about the consequences of my consumption or the process that has enabled my ability to consume and my access to money – through which I’ve accepted and allowed myself to deliberately and tacitly accept and allow people to live at the brink of starvation, working until they die, earth and waters being contaminated and animals being tortured day in and day out – just so that I can consume and over-consume and get cheap products so that I can keep consuming without end where I can consume whatever I want, when I want in the quantities I want without any consideration or regard for anyone, including myself in and as my physical body
I commit myself to show that it is absolutely unacceptable that we keep consuming without end without taking responsibility for the processes through which our consumption is made possible and the consequences our consumption has on life as a whole and as such that we require changing our economic systems but also who we are within and as ourselves to beings and systems that is based on mutual and equal care for ourselves as life as what is best for all
I commit myself to stop existing as a consumer that merely follow a script of advertisement that I have created in conjunction with myself as the Consumer Character to satisfy my wants/needs/desires to become whole/complete/satisfied through consuming external points separate from me and keep the world economic system of enslavement functioning
I commit myself to show that who we are as consumers are NOT free, democratic people who can influence the world systems through our ability to consume and our access to money as we’ve already abdicated ourselves to the Consumption Character and given it full control and direction over us where all we care about and consider is our own satisfaction/filling ourselves up as the Consumption Character and thus when we act as consumers to get experiences we are in fact slaves of the mind and are responsible for the real slaves of the world as the physical beings that give their lives for us to be able to consume indefinitely – until we stop, stand up and bring ourselves back here as life.
Give yourself the daily gift of reading the blogs from Creation’s Journey to Life, Earth’s Journey to Life and Heaven’s Journey to Life. Join us at Desteni, where a forum is available 24/7 with support on how to write oneself out in self-honesty and where any questions regarding the Desteni Material will be answered by competent Destonians who are walking their own process. Visit the Destonian Network where videos and blogs are streamed daily. Suggest to also check out the Desteni I Process and Relationship courses for extended training and support. Walk with us in implementing an Equal Money System as a new System on Earth based on Equality as what is Best for All. Let’s Walk!