The All-Consuming Monster of Self: DAY 106

September 8, 2012 in Anna's Journey to Life

5513347590 c0c569198f The All Consuming Monster of Self: DAY 106Who is the Monster that exists within us that, the MORE we Feed it, Grows bigger and bigger until it consumes All of us and then begin Consuming itself?

(It is suggested to watch The Century of The Self for reference to the All-Consuming Self.)

I am continuing here with Self-Corrective Self-Commitment statements on the Consumption Character from:

The MORE We Consume, The LESS We Live: DAY 105We Created the Gina Rineharts of this World: DAY 104
Consuming Life To Live Life: DAY 99
I CONsuME: DAY 98
The Consumption Character: DAY 97
Stepping out of the Temptation Character: DAY 96
And Lead us not into Temptation, but Deliver us from Evil: Day 95
The Temptation Character: Day 94
Desire to Connect/Fear of not Connecting with Others: DAY 88
Oneness According to The Jealousy Character: DAY 87
‘My Precious’ Addiction Redefined (PART 2): DAY 53
Gollum, Sméagol and ‘My Precious’ Addiction (PART 1): DAY 52
Addicted to Abuse of Substance (Part 2): DAY 48
Addiction as ‘Life’ (Part 1) DAY 47
Give ME MORE or I’ll Throw a TANTRUM! (Part 3): DAY 46
More IS Less (Part 2): DAY 45
MORE Wants MORE Wants MORE (Part 1): DAY 44

When and as I see that I am participating in fear of starving or getting/having/consuming less and then take/consume more ‘just in case’ – I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here into and my physical body in and as self-integrity within and as the decision and dedication to stand up in equality and oneness as what is best for all

I see, realize and understand that when I participate within and as fear of starving as fear of loss/lacking/not having money/not surviving I create and accept the consequence of greed within and as myself and within and as this world, where I will use my fear of starving/loss/lacking/not having money/not surviving to justify for myself taking more than what I need – in spite of the fact that there is physically enough for all on earth to sustain themselves and so the equation within my delusion of fear of loss will be that when I accept LESS as the premise of my existence through fear, I automatically Take and Consume MORE just in case, which is exactly what the elite in this world are doing, both the super-elite as the 1 percent that sits on most of the money and resources in the world as well as the elite of those of us who has access to money and resources, where all we’re focused on is the aspect of the Consumption Character that is focused on GAINING/GETTING/TAKING while suppressing the actual starting-point that drives us completely and totally: fear of loss and as such by me participating within and as the Consumption Character within and as myself through justifying why I take more than what I need, I am directly and indirectly responsible for and creating the entire inequality system within and as this world that has so massive consequences that literally half the world is existing in poverty and starvation and where basically all the animals are being abused and tortured generation after generation without end and where a minute few are allowed to take it all – because as I justify and accept the Consumption Character as driven by fear of loss within and as myself, I am equally as one justifying and accepting it in them

I see, realize and understand that within accepting and allowing myself to exist in fear of loss, I am holding onto the delusion/illusion of separation through which I am preventing myself from in fact live and therefore that this is a cycle/time loop of infinity that I’ve spun myself into and that will only stop once I let go of fear of loss and that I can only in fact live – when I let go of fear of loss as letting go of holding onto the delusion/illusion of separation

22 The All Consuming Monster of Self: DAY 106I commit myself to show that the more we as humans, the more I, as all, accept and allow myself to exist within fear of loss, the more I will attempt to gain/get/take/consume in a delusional belief that I can ‘feed’ my fear of loss like an insatiable monster residing within me that I fear so much that I’m willing to sacrifice anything and anyone to keep it contained, even my own body, but where I don’t see, realize and understand – because the monster is myself and my own creation – that the more I feed it, the bigger it grows and the more it demands and that it will not stop or hesitate until it has consumed all and everything and then it will start feeding on itself exactly as I have done and as we have done as existence as a whole in an infinite cycle of consumption that does not end – until we realize that the monster we’re feeding is ourselves and dare to stop and look ourselves in the eye/I as the monster and ask: how did I create myself as this monster? Is it even real? And we see, realize and understand that our entire ‘drive for living’ has been a drive directly towards death and destruction – where we’ve only ever consumed life in greed and self-interest as we’ve based our entire motivation to live and move on the fear of loss/not surviving/lacking and the subsequent desire for MORE – instead of stopping and seeing, realizing and understanding that our fear of loss is our own creation, that everything is already here existing with everything provided for us unconditionally to live in abundance, but that we separated ourselves from ourselves and then feared losing ourselves TO OURSELVES as a monster that we deliberately forgot was ourselves as our own reflection because we believed that only as such could we get MORE – a stupidity loop of existential and infinite proportions – until we stop.

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application and breathing investigate myself as fear in detail and specificity and look myself in the eye/I as the monster I’ve created myself as in and as fear of loss and that I have abdicated myself to and separated myself from/into/as through suppressing/denying that it is fear of loss I’ve driven/lived myself from within and as – and as such as I take responsibility for myself as fear of loss in understanding how I have created myself, how I have abdicated myself, how I have separated myself from myself, what is illusion/delusion/self-dishonesty and what is real/valuable/live – give myself the power and authority back to in fact direct myself to stop existing in fear of loss, to let go of fear of loss and as such give myself back to myself as life and as such breathe life back into myself through no longer holding onto myself as a delusion/illusion/lie

I commit myself to show and expose the relationship we exist within on this planet, where everything and all is existing in one eco system that requires equality to sustain itself as all life to its optimal potential , where only when all parts care for and consider what is best for all and apply and live accordingly within and as their particular expression/manifestation – will live be best/optimal for each and that I, as all human beings have accepted and allowed myself to destroy the equality and oneness of the eco system on earth, through enforcing my own delusion to be the predominant principle that I have forced all life to bow down to and that I within and as my acceptance of myself as greed and self-interest in my acceptance of myself as separate and thus fearing loss, have directly caused suffering and torment for all of existence – through me not taking responsibility for my creation of and as myself

I commit myself to show that everything and everyone on earth exists in an interconnected oneness (as one earth/one life) that to function optimally requires a stable consistent equality with all parts (just like a human body) and that I as a human, as all humans have disrupted that relationship between all parts of life because of my relationship with myself, my mind, my body and the earth – and that only by me taking back my self-responsibility, both for the consequences of my creation, as the hell that is now manifested on earth in restoring this physical reality and planet to equilibrium and for who I have accepted and allowed myself to be/live/exist as – as that which has instigated/created the consequences we now all face – so that we together can stand in an agreement to bring ourselves back to equality and oneness and life and change the living on earth to become optimal for all life

I commit myself to become someone who stands as an example that when giving up fear of loss, nothing is lost in fact and all is gained – because within giving up fear of loss, I return myself to life, to be in the service of life as myself as all as one as equal and take my place in humbleness as a human being or as any being to live and explore and discover what life can in fact be when we live together in equality

I commit myself to educate myself to become a humble being who stands and lives in the service of life and through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application take responsibility for my own process of bringing myself back to life

Within this, I commit myself to support myself to let go of all fear, hesitation, worry and doubt as I see, realize and understand that anything less than giving it my all – giving me to all as myself – is exactly the point of holding onto fear of loss as ‘who I am’ and will thus only produce consequences of suffering for all

demon inside me by lorelainw 682x1024 The All Consuming Monster of Self: DAY 106When and as I see, that I am accepting and allowing myself to participate in and experience fear when/if I don’t have a point of external stimulation – I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here to myself within and as my physical body in self-integrity within and as the decision and dedication to stand up as life in equality and oneness as what is best for all

I see, realize and understand that as long as I, every time I experience fear, merely comply with the fear and ‘feed the monster’ – the more it will grow like a cancer infestation within and as me, because that is what I am giving attention and value to within and as myself and thus I see, realize and understand that me feeding the fear as ‘shutting it up’ with giving myself an external point of stimulation, will only postpone the point where I in fact have to face myself in and as this fear and I see, realize and understand that this is exactly like a parent that won’t say no to their child and ends up postponing the point of saying no as a misdirected care for the child, because the adult does not like how it is reflected back to the adult when the child throws a tantrum and the adults fear losing it’s self-proclaimed role/character of being a good parent and then give in and teach the child nothing but to manipulate and end up creating a monster that has no respect or regard for anyone or anything – where the parent in fact abdicated self-responsibility to stand as an example for the child of how to live in a way that is supportive for self and where one is able to assess common sense consideration and care for what is best for all and NOT live based on emotional/energetic experiences of self-interest – which is exactly the example the adult is setting because the adult from the beginning had compromised themselves and thus pass this on to their children

I see, realize and understand that my desire/want/need/addiction to constantly having external stimulation is based on me avoiding facing and getting to know myself and that I am using fear of loss/lacking to manipulate myself to avoid/suppress/deny myself where I will indefinitely hold myself at arm’s length through constantly being preoccupied with fear and subsequential consumption to avoid facing myself as fear

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application stop fearing facing myself in and as fear and to get to know myself as fear and when and how and where I trigger fear and when and how and where I suppress fear and when and how and where I comply with fear and when and how and where – and as who – I hold onto fear

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application become intimate with myself as fear, embrace myself as fear in and as self-support and self-directive will as care and consideration for myself as life, as that which I don’t yet know who I will be, and as that I have separated myself from/into/as and thus have abdicated myself as – so that I may stop and step out of fear directively and without hesitation – and whenever fear comes up, to immediately face myself in the eyes/I as fear, instead of immediately going into suppression and subsequent consumption

I commit myself to stop, step out of and delete the fear of not constantly having external stimulation and to through breathing, support myself to simply remain here whenever I am HERE and are experiencing an ‘urge’ to consume

Beautiful Eyes Wallpaper Collections 1024x768 The All Consuming Monster of Self: DAY 106When and as I see that I am experiencing an urge to consume something – where it is clearly not a self-directed immediate decision or a bodily calling for nutrition or support – I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here to myself in and as my physical body in self-integrity within and as the decision and dedication to stand up as life in equality and oneness as what is best for all

I see, realize and understand that I’ve used the urge/need/want/desire to consume, to hide from myself and to suppress and postpone/procrastinate and sabotage the point of facing myself here and getting to know myself here and that every time I follow such an ‘urge’ – I am in fact creating consequences for all of existence as myself, through validating and legitimizing fear of loss and the Consumption Character as the monster of greed and insatiability within me to rule and roam the earth – justified by me – exactly as I have done within and as my physical body

I see, realize and understand that breath and breathing is an optimal form of support that I can give myself, because in breath is equality – each breath is no more or less than another, and breath is an expression of giving to myself and immediately and unconditionally letting go

(To be continued)

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 The All Consuming Monster of Self: DAY 106