July 28, 2012 in Anna's Journey to Life
Introduction: The quote in the title is the ‘esoteric motto’ of the Capricorn, the star sign I identified myself in and as for many years. (That’s an entire character/network of characters in itself that I won’t get into here) The point is that when I heard this ‘motto’ I was very disappointed that it was not something more uplifting. What I can see here in relation to the point I am currently walking of the characters regarding attention from others, is that it can be practically translated to how I (and we) miss reality as ourselves, that we are here – and literally turn our backs on ourselves, in the desire for ‘the light’. To ‘get life’ we turn our backs on life. It’s all in reverse. We’ve been trying to reanimate ourselves through the mirrors we’ve projected outside of ourselves – as here in my desire for attention from others, while the very manifestation of the mirrored projection is our deliberate separation from and of ourselves and therefore, the more we seek into the mirrors as that which is to make us ‘whole again’, the more we in fact reiterate our self-separation.
Read parts 1-4 here:
- If a Tree Falls in a Forest and No One is Around to Hear it, Does it Make a Sound? DAY 82
- Intermission with the Comparison Character: DAY 81
- If They Don’t See Me, does that mean I’m Not Here? DAY 80
- Everybody Loves Me – I Am a Star! DAY 79
In this blog, I will be walking self-commitment statements within and as prescribing self-corrective practical application for myself to assist and support myself in walking out of the dimensions of the character-creation that I have walked in self-forgiveness so far.
SELF-COMMIMENT TO SELF-CORRECT THROUGH PRACTICAL APPLICATION
I commit myself to let go of the belief that I have accepted as real that if another does not see me, that there is something wrong with me and that I am worthless, because I see, realize and understand that I have made my worth/value/acceptance of and as myself dependent upon being seen by another/others through the energetic experience I have attached to being seen by others within and as taking it personally and accordingly defined myself. Within this, I see, realize and understand that what I have made myself dependent on and thus defined/experienced/accepted myself according to, has been the energetic experience that I GENERATE within and as myself and not in fact whether or not another sees me.
I see, realize and understand that I have made the point of giving and receiving attention a ‘value exchange’ within and as my mind, where the ‘value’ that was exchanged was energy – but this was never real, because it was all something that was happening inside me through my own volition whereas the other being were simply a prop in my projection/polarity/separation game – where I ironically never ever gave another attention if it could not benefit me somehow.
I see, realize and understand that whether another gives me attention or not by seeing or listening to me, does not define who I am or has any influence on who I am – therefore it is me who have made it so within and as myself, to which I have accordingly and in fact used and abused others to ‘bounce’ energy off of.
So – when and as I see that I am projecting my attention away from myself and as such are separating myself from myself here in and as my human physical body, within focusing on how another relates to me within seeing/hearing/listening/reading – I stop. Because I know the ‘path’ I go on by following this line of thought/backchat/reaction/physical change within stepping into character. And I see, realize and understand that ‘who’ I am in that moment – as ‘who’ and what I accept and allow myself to be, is NOT REAL, I don’t even see another – I am merely using the perceived conflict I experience within another not giving me attention or giving me attention to generate energy inside myself for the mind to feed off of. So I stop – and I gentle bring myself back here into and as my human physical body.
When and as I see that I am experiencing myself as worthless/less valuable specifically because someone does not give me attention, where I feel low on energy, I stop as I realize that I am accepting and allowing myself to manipulate myself to play a game of energy. I stop and stabilize myself here in and as breathing and bring myself back to and within my human physical body.
I see, realize and understand that I have defined, equated and accepted ‘existing’ with and as experiencing energy and as such that which makes me valuable/worthy and I have made my experiences of energy dependent upon getting attention from others. So it is therefore I experience that I don’t exist, if I don’t receive attention from others.
I commit myself to stop and delete and let go of the belief that I only exist if I am given attention by others. I commit myself to stop the belief that I am dependent upon others to experience myself as existing. I stop equating existing as an experience.
I see, realize and understand that existing is not an energetic experience where something is ‘added’ to me. I breathe, I am here in and as the physical – that is how I exist. It is a fact, not an experience.
I see, realize and understand that I have used another/others as a projected mirror of reflection of my own self-separation that I projected my own value, worth, energy and existing onto and as such I have believed that it was the attention another/others gave me that determined who I am and how I experience myself and how much I am worth/valued – but in fact it was me who did it all along. I was merely using the reflection of others – and since I had already separated myself from myself, no matter how much attention I got from others, the energetic experience would run out and I would experience myself as worthless an even as not existing
I commit myself to stop, step out of and delete the desire to get attention from others and within and as this I commit myself to bring attention back to myself here, in and as my physical body and to, through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application bring myself back here as all the parts that I’ve separated myself into and as so that I can walk in equality and oneness with and as myself here and eventually with another as myself
I commit myself to stop, delete and step out of the desire to get back to myself, to be ‘whole again’ that I have projected onto another/others and I commit myself to see myself through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application and to give myself attention here in and as the physical
When and as I see that I am projecting myself onto another within and as focusing in my mind in and as backchat on how they see me, if they like me and accordingly wanting to change myself to get the good attention and as such a positive energetic experience – I stop. I breathe and I remain here in and as my human physical body.
(To be continued)
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