July 15, 2012 in Anna's Journey to Life
Introduction: Yesterday images of humans deliberately crushing animals such as rabbits and cats were shared around the web and Cerise Poolman wrote a blog post about it here. As I saw these images, I experienced an intense feeling of dismay/disgust/sadness/shame and fear. However – as I have been writing about feeling good about doing bad the last couple of days, I can see how a manifestation so gruesome as crushing animals deliberately for sexual gratification/profit – is exactly a part of this exact pattern. So I will take this point on in this blog-post as an additional character in the “feeling good about being bad character.” So that I can release this character within and as myself – take self-responsibility for and as it – and if assists others – cool!
Suggest to in concoction with the points in this post to read this blog by Cerise Poolman and my blog post about being an animal lover. If you don’t know what animal crushing is, you can read about it here.
I remember the first time I was encountered with animal crushing/torture – it was in kindergarten, where some boys were pulling the legs of spiders in the back of the yard. I remember being angry at them and yelling at them to stop and I remember thinking about the pain the spiders must feel and how it was unfair that they did it – but I was not able to stop the boys and they just laughed. It scared me how they would just laugh and how I could not stop them. It was like no one cared. One time I deliberately kicked a bee and when it fell to the ground, I felt so ashamed for what I had done. But I can see that I, within and through this have created a character of superiority as “I am someone that cares” – but also with the boys, my focus was more on getting respect from the boys and them not seeing me as weak or turning on me – than caring for the animals. I could have insisted that what they were doing is unacceptable until they stopped – but I did not, because I feared them and I feared what they could do to me.
I realize that the fact that we can be shocked to see images of animals being crushed by pretty woman in tight clothes and high heels – shows the level of deliberate ignorance that we’ve decided to cloak ourselves within. Because we are literally crushing the animal kingdom and life in general every minute of every day – through who and what we’ve decided to become as humanity. So when we experience shock towards seeing these images, it is indicating to ourselves – that we’ve missed what is already here, as who we’ve become as the ‘crushers’ of life.
We come together on YouTube (and the internet in general) to share our lives with each other. YouTube is a PRIVATE corporation Acting as a Global Public Arena governed by the principles of ‘free speech’ and ‘entertainment’ that ‘WE THE PEOPLE’ have voted for through our participation and acceptance on YouTube, as active or passive as it might be. YouTube does not stand accountable to uphold even basic standards of decency and thus allows videos such as animal crush porn and torture happily on the site because legally YouTube is one thing ( ‘just’ another private corp. without accountability) but in reality YouTube is a place where humanity gathers and DECIDES what kind of Life we will accept for ourselves and our children. We decide.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to seeing images of a kitten/rabbit being crushed within and as feeling despair and desperation towards “the state of the world/humanity” and fear of who and what we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to become – and fear of myself as who and what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be and become, in the total complete disregard of life – because of my dependency on money and energetic experiences through which I have allowed myself to create, participate in and accept such a manifestation/consequence as the deliberate crushing of animals for sexual gratification and profit – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that the fear/shock/dismay that I experience, is indicating that I have separated myself from myself in and as this manifestation, as it already existed before I saw these images today, yet I refused to face myself in an as this manifestation as self-responsible as the creator of this manifestation of cruelty. I commit myself to expose and push myself to face all the manifestations/consequences that I have accepted and allowed and that exists in and as this world – through me separating myself from myself and abdicating my self-responsibility as creator of myself and of this world. I see, realize and understand that I am the kitten/rabbit (as life) and women in shoe representing sex and money and man as the silent consumer and that this is the relationship to/with myself that I have created, that I am faced with – and that the only solution to stopping this abuse – is by facing myself as such – to participate in creating a world and a self that never ever again allows self to abdicate self-responsibility.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am ‘above’ such a manifestation as animal crushing and animal torture – and as such place myself in my mind as superior to those who would abuse animals and thus define myself and see myself in my mind as ‘good’ and ‘benevolent’ specifically within defining the reaction I experience towards seeing images of animals being abused/tortured/crushed of dismay/desperation/sadness.
Within this – I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately deceive myself to separate myself from myself as ‘who I am’ as the character of ‘abuser’ that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become in creating a character of ‘benevolence’ that I legitimize and confirm for myself within and as my mind as ‘who I really am’ because ‘I feel bad when I see these images’ – and as such deliberately abdicate self-responsibility for the existence of the abuse/torture against animals/life, through creating a character of superiority within and through my mind where I believe that I am ‘above’ that – when in fact I have simply allowed the abuse to exist and have even hidden the abuse from myself and made myself ignorant/blind/desensitized towards the abuse, through creating an entire cover-up system/industry within and as the world and within and as my own mind – thus I have in fact existed as inferior to the abuse, within how I’ve simply allowed it to exist without my direction and within the manifestation of self-interest/addiction to energy that I’ve accepted and allowed to be my directive principle because I was not directing myself in fact.
I commit myself to – when and as I see, that I am reacting in an experience of shock/dismay towards I see/hear/read as a point/manifestation in this world – to immediately bring the point/manifestation back to myself, stop the reaction and investigate in self-honesty how I have separated myself from this point/manifestation and as such have abdicated self-responsibility for its creation and for myself as the creator of it – and as such bring the point/manifestation back to myself and my own participation in my world and my reality and script a corrective application for myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that such a manifestation as the deliberately crushing of animals for sexual energetic gratification/financial profit, does not exist as an isolated manifestation of abuse that is particularly gruesome – because such abuse and deliberate cruelty for sexual energetic gratification/financial profit exist on a daily basis in all areas of the world and in all areas of our lives – where the physical is used/abused/exploited/tortured for humans to have energetic experiences of gratification and/or financial profit – the only difference is the clarity within which it is manifested as abuse, where there is absolutely no doubt why it exists and that it is abuse, whereas much of the abuse that exist in this world, has been covered up and justified in one way or another as acceptable and normal
– exactly like it is considered normal and perfectly moral/ethical to produce, keep and kill cows and pigs and chickens in one part of the world, where cats and dogs are considered unethical to produce, keep and kill, whereas it in other parts of the world is the opposite. This shows that our applied moral/ethics is arbitrary and can be used and applied in any way we please to justify abuse and as such is entirely non-existing and deceptive and destructive in fact.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately deceive myself to believe that the way, we in my/my country/region are producing, keeping and killing animals for food, is ‘Humane’ and therefore acceptable, justifiable and moral/ethical – when the fact of the matter is that I have never investigated how a life is actually like for a cow, a pig or a chicken. I have never actually walked into a slaughterhouse and seen an animal being killed – let alone having placed myself in the shoes of that animal and asked myself if that is the life I would want for myself – when the fact of the matter is that the way I have accepted and allowed farming/animal/dairy production to exist, through my direct/indirect acceptance, is equal to animal crush and the deliberate abuse against animals that I see as unacceptable
as such: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create, manifest and participate within and as a moral/ethical judgment character, where I believe that I have the right/capability/ability to determine who and what is ethical/moral – and through this self-proclaimed judgment over death and life, have accepted and allowed myself to use this moral judgment to deceive myself into justifying abuse against life/humans/animals/the earth simply so that I can get energetic gratification/financial profit
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am ‘more than’ and ‘better than’ and ‘morally superior’ to people who kill and abuse animals for fun/sexual gratification/financial profit – because I believe that my/my county/region’s way of killing animals is ‘humane’ and that I have developed ways of killing, producing and killing animals that are ‘dignified’ – while in fact I don’t even know how animals are being killed, because I’ve abdicated the responsibility for the producing, keeping and killing of animals to farmers who’ve I placed on remote country-sides in farm buildings without windows where the animals and the process through which they are produced, kept and killed is not seen
(To be continued)
Other Journey to Life Blogs on Animals:
Day 31 – It’s Just an Animal: http://agirlsjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/06/24/day-31-its-just-an-animal/
Day 45: Can we “Own” an Animal ? : http://adirectorjourneystolife.blogspot.com/2012/05/day-45-can-we-own-animal.html
Day 31: Abandoned Animals: http://cathy4worldequality.wordpress.com/2012/05/17/day-31-abandoned-animals/
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