June 22, 2012 in Anna's Journey to Life
How will I embrace my passion to live that will allow me to stand up within myself and within the standing up, fry this [mind-consciousness] system to pieces?
What is Passion as a Living Expression in Every Moment?
This question was asked to me in support and because I could not answer it, I have decided to write a blog post about this topic, to explore myself within and as the question: “Who am I as the passion of life?” – When the question first was asked, my immediate thought went to “passion” as “something to be passionate about”, like a hobby, an interest or a career. But the question is specific within asking: WHO AM I as the passion of life, as expression in every moment? The very fact that I could not answer the question exposes the fact that who and what I am at the moment, is NOT living myself as Passion. So instead of asking who I am as passion, it is pertinent to ask: Why/How am I NOT living as the passion of Life as expression in every moment?
“A Mind calibrated to create a world that is best for All Life Always is the only Mind worth having.” – Bernard Poolman
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not live as the passion of life as expression in every moment because I have accepted myself as limited, as submissive, as subjected to and existing only within and as and through the mind, as a personality-entity based on memories and stored information that I have kept within and as me and defined myself according to as “who I am” – where I have lived and walked on this earth according to preprogrammed desires, fears, thoughts, emotions, feelings and reactions that at any given moment placed a directive before me as to who to be, how to speak, what to eat, what to wear, how to feel, what to fear and basically any and all expression of myself here in and as the physical
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience, perceive and fear that answering the question about who I am as the passion of life that burn the delusional system to the ground, is something I cannot do, in seeing and judging myself as incapable of establishing myself as ‘passion’ within and as myself – basically within judging, defining, perceiving and accepting myself as being ‘corrupted’ by who and what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become within and as the mind – not seeing, realizing or understanding that the very seeing and the “who” that is seeing and judging myself IS in fact who and what I have accepted myself as in and as the mind, which thus therefore cannot be trusted to answer in self-honesty – as the very design of the mind is deception.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed and to judge myself for experiencing myself unable and incapable of with certainty establishing a ‘passion for life’ and as such within that judge and define myself as ‘weak’ and ‘evil’ within seeing that if one is not passionate about life, it means that one has placed one’s passion into and onto the mind – the mind which very design is abusive and deceptive in nature
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize or understand that I have placed my passion as myself into and onto the mind, thus existing to do the mind’s bidding in letting the mind decide what I am passionate about and what not, not considering, realizing or understanding that within how the mind is designed – how I have designed myself as the mind, the mind is only passionate about remaining as the mind at all costs – when in fact the very manifestation of the mind, IS my abdication of and separation from myself as life, which is thus what I reinforce and reconfirm when I accepted and allowed myself to be passionate about the mind’s desires, wants and needs only
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize or understand that as long as I allow my passion to be passion of mind, which only purpose is for me to remain in and as the mind – as separated from and in abdication of myself here as life – I cannot be passionate about life – because being passionate about life, IS to stop the mind as the separation from and abdication of myself here as life, SO that I can stand up and birth myself as life, here, in and from the physical
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage my passion to live that will allow me to stand up through doubting myself and distrusting myself and judging myself for who and what I have been and become within and as and through the mind – and as such give constant and continuous attention to the mind, through fuelling it with energy through my inner conflict and fighting with myself and as such also validate who and what I am within and as the mind, by taking who and what I am as the mind personally in reacting to my own thoughts and emotions and experiences, instead of allowing myself to see in common sense that the mind is a system that I have inserted into myself and as such abdicated myself to as the author and director of myself and within that have deceived myself into believing and accepting that who I am is the mind, while in fact the mind is nothing but a system, a placement, a program, a delusion – as the mind is NOT here physically manifested as the substance of life – but I AM as I am here in and as a human physical body, though yet to in fact establish myself in and as my human physical body as life-authority because I first have to take back my authority – and thus my responsibility for and as myself – from the mind
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that as long as I focus on myself as the mind, as ‘bad’, as ‘wrong’, as ‘unforgivable’ and basically constantly think about what I am doing wrong – I am accepting and allowing myself to sabotage myself and my passion to live that which is best for all, simply by being preoccupied WITHIN and as the mind – and not see, realize and understand that the Physical is Real, Living here and THAT is where I can establish my passion to live that which is best for all
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see, realize or understand the basic definition of “pre-occupation” as a “state of occupying beforehand” where “pre” means before and as such is the initial point of creation or insertion or direction of and as myself and where “occupation” is “fact of holding or possessing” which then means that, that which I am preoccupied within and as, is merely that which I have created myself into and as, as that which I hold and possess myself as - which is the mind and because I am preoccupied in and as the mind, it is by my directive decree that I am in and as the mind, which means that I can change my direct decree to exist within and as a different directive decree than existing in and as the mind, in and as the system I have designed and programmed myself into and as, specifically in separation from and abdication of myself here as life – thus as long as I am preoccupied within and as the mind, I cannot be life, I cannot live passion as myself in standing up, because I have already occupied myself beforehand in the possession of and as the mind – therefore I see now that to establish myself within and as passion as life, I must 1) stop accepting and allowing myself to be preoccupied within and as the mind, which means both in terms of the mind’s desires, wants and needs but also and specifically in terms of how I have taken the mind personally and reacted to the mind as “who I am” instead of seeing in common sense that the mind is a programmed system that is thus able to be re-programmed and altered into a program that supports me and through which I support myself to live the passion of standing up as live 2) through stopping the preoccupation of myself in and as the mind, through stopping participation in the mind and in taking the mind personally, I direct myself establish a new directive decree, a new authority that I have the opportunity to stand up within, as and from, in establishing myself here as the passion of life and 3) the basic design of the mind is to be and be passionate about anything and everything that is NOT physical, thus ideas, beliefs, emotions, feelings, imaginations, thoughts – basically delusions as they have no substance in and as the physical as none of these are physically manifested or can be shared and seen by everyone equally and therefore the way to establish myself as passion as life is to participate in the physical and to focus on my physical living and physical experience and physical interaction from where I can practically determine and establish myself as passion as life
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize or understand that to “occupy” simply means to “take up space and time” and that I as such has occupied myself through, within and as the mind, simply through accepting and allowed myself to participate within, as and from the mind instead of participating here in and as the physical space-time-reality
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the “passion to Live that will allow me to stand up within myself and within the standing up, fry this system to pieces” within and as not trusting myself, within judging and demoting myself in my mind and within and as seeing, defining, judging, experiencing, perceiving and accepting myself as inferior to the passion to live and as such see, perceive, define, judge, experience and accept the passion to live as something more than me – not seeing, realizing or understanding that I am the one who has to direct myself to BE and LIVE as the Passion to Live and that by accepting and allowing myself to direct and accept and define myself according to mind preoccupations I am in fact placing myself as the mind as more than myself as the passion to live – by allowing the mind to determine, dictate and direct who and what I accept myself as
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the passion as a living expression in every moment simply starts with the act – as a directive decree I place before myself to walk according to – of stopping my preoccupation in and of the mind and walk the process of living here in the physical and direct my living participation in such a way that I live and act in and as an expression that is best for all – which also means that I must establish self-honesty within and as me, to be able to see and discern whether what I do is best for all or not. It means that I must establish self-trust which I establish through walking into and as self-trust in my directive decree. It means that I must establish a common sense and clear understanding about what best for all means in any given moment. It means that I must establish awareness, which I can do through slowing myself down, in my physical movements of myself and within focusing only on one point at a time, one breath at a time and remain aware of myself within and as breathing, so that I can see and determine who I am in every moment, and accordingly direct and redirect myself to the passion to live that which is best for all – without self-judgment or fear as that is part of the mind’s program which is not here in the physical or beneficial in any way for all and as such invalid and unacceptable as I, if I participate in self-judgment or fear am diminishing myself here within and as walking in breath as well as preoccupying myself in the mind and in taking the mind as who I am personally, instead of simply direct the mind as the program it is.
So: Before I can establish The Passion as a Living Expression in Every Moment I firstly commit myself to walk the decision to stop the preoccupation of the mind as whom and what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as mentioned above, through stopping participation in and as the mind, because I see, realize and understand that I cannot live the passion of life, if I am preoccupied within and as the mind. I do so by supporting myself through acting according to what is best for all, in and as my physical participation as mentioned above, in slowing myself down, in establishing self-honesty and self-trust and awareness of and as myself here. This is then also how will I embrace my passion to live that will allow me to stand up within myself and within the standing up, fry this [mind-consciousness] system to pieces.
And so I walk.
Suggested read: http://journeytolife.aldinhrvat.com/day-67-the-delusion-of-experienceenergy-when-you-wont-change-in-negative-nor-in-positive-times/
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