June 8, 2012 in Anna's Journey to Life
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience it as ’difficult’ to let go and give up my addiction, when in fact I have not accepted or allowed myself to give myself the opportunity to push myself through he addiction
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest, create and participate within and as an experience, belief, definition and acceptance that I cannot live without my addiction and I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see the absolute ridiculousness in this as the very definition of an addiction is that it is something one does not need in fact yet have deceived oneself into believe that one is physically dependent upon
I forgive myself that I, within and as fearing to let go of my addiction and who I am within addiction, have accepted and allowed myself to replace one addiction with another addiction, justifying and deceiving myself into believing that one addiction is better than another within assigning moral judgment labels to the points/experiences/actions I’ve allowed myself to become addicted to
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear and believe that if I do not replace one addiction with another, I will not be able to continue existing – within having believed and accepted myself as dependent upon addiction to survive and exist – not seeing, realizing or understanding that the “who” I am accepting myself as within that fear and belief is “who I am” as the mind as who and what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be and become in and as separation of and from myself here as the physical
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see, perceive, define and experience it as “natural” and “normal” to be addicted and thus experience stopping addiction as “unnatural” almost to the point of it being impossible to stop in the belief, experience and acceptance that I will not be able to continue living if or when I stop the addiction
(To be continued here in Part 2.)
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