I Think Therefore I am NOT!: DAY 28

May 17, 2012 in Anna's Journey to Life

You Must Believe Me    Wall by smashmethod 1024x768 I Think Therefore I am NOT!: DAY 28Descartes said: “I think therefore I am” – within making that statement, he used the living word of self to solidify self in and as the mind – not because we are BECAUSE we think, but because we are the living word of/as self. This is the agenda of this writing and possibly many writings to come. Within how I create a relationship to the mind/thoughts and as such create experiences of/as myself that I solidify as ‘who I am’. It is dimensions of this entire triangular relationship that I am looking at here, me as the directive principle in conjunction with thoughts and emotions/energy and how I exist within and as that as ego. So I will continue the deconstruction based on my acceptances and allowances the last 48 hours.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience, believe, perceive and accept myself as unable and incapable of effectively writing myself out and to accept this experience as real in conjunction with the thought that I am not able to write as a decree of living word as a directive statement of be-live that I am unable to write and as such submit myself and subject myself to an energetic-emotional experience based on friction, through which I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself and sabotage and manipulate myself through, as and within my direct decree of participation in and acceptance of thought-energy-directive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a complete emotional lock-down, where I constrict my entire body into and as shut-down where all that exist is my experience of suppression and constriction and as such consolidate myself within and as the self-created experience and belief and acceptance that I am unable to move myself out of the experience and the more I participate, the more I allow the experience to compound and accumulate

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to stop and realize that I have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed by emotion within and as the continued submission to energy through generating friction within and as myself and through the direct decree of belief/be-live – completely enslaving and subjecting myself within and as my physical body to the torture of the mind pulling and tucking and forcing energy out of the physical substance through my accepted and allowed relationship to/with/as the mind in and as friction

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have a right to throw an emotional tantrum and shut myself down and refuse to participate in anything or with anyone within the perception and belief that it is unfair and unjust that I can’t get what I want or be who I want to be, as though it is someone else’s fault and responsibility and certainly not mine

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and judge myself for/as not writing any fantastic self-forgiveness about some fantastic point and to be ashamed that this is what is here  – shittiness, rottenness, cowardice, self-pity and as such experience resistance towards exposing myself as what is here.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize and understand the impact my participation in and acceptance of/as a single thought can have/has and not even now see or realize the entirety of the impact, within and as how I exist separated into and as a singular individual entity based on/as/with the mind from where I do not see/experience  or understand myself as interconnected with/as the rest of the world and myself as totality of and as me of/as my human physical body – but also within I, from allowing myself to participate in a single thought can/will  allow/have allowed myself to spin myself into an entire time-loop an emotional/energetic possessions because it all starts with a thought as the living word of who I am that I have internalized into and separated into and as a thought of the mind – thus believing that it is contained to/within/as the mind, not realizing that whatever living word I be-live as a directive decree of my acceptances and allowances will manifest as who and what I am, in/as myself, in/as this physical body and in/as this world in its entirety

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let most if not all my decisions be based in/on/as thoughts, where a thought emerges and I immediately see no other choice than to follow it – I don’t even question the authority of the thought emerging, I automatically follow it as though it is natural specifically based on and within the relationship I have created to/towards thoughts in the belief as a decree of the living word of me that thoughts are the directive principle over and as me – as who I am, thus perceiving, experiencing and accepting that when a thought emerges it is me directing myself, not seeing, realizing or understanding that I have abdicated myself TO the thoughts, that it is the thoughts that are directing me – through my very living decree – as is evident within how it is nearly ‘impossible’ for me to do anything without a thought telling me what to do, who to be, what to experience, how to perceive and interpret the world and myself within and as it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dilute myself into believing – as a double lie – that I am the one directing myself, that it is me who direct myself throughout my day, when in fact I am and have allowed myself to be completely directed and controlled by thoughts, to the point where I it is nearly impossible for me to direct myself without first having allowed a thought to emerge to direct me and tell me what to do, who to be, how to experience myself and how to perceive myself within and as relation to myself and my world and my reality

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to question or challenge the validity, reality, value and authority of thoughts and the subsequent emotional/energetic reactions/experiences and as such the mind in its entirety and that I have not accepted or allowed myself to question who it is that have given the mind that authority, value, reality and validity and realize that it is me and only me as I within my initial decision to separate myself from myself and as such create and form relationships that became the mind that I abdicated myself to, within and as and that I don’t even remember as who I am here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let – and as such accept and allow and there by abdicate my authority here as the directive principle of and as myself to – thoughts decide what I will do, who I will be, what I will eat and not eat, what I will enjoy or not enjoy eating or not eating or doing or how I will respond or react to my world and my reality and myself – in and as and through the relationship I have created to/with/towards thoughts where I have specifically accepted myself as less-than and inferior to thoughts as ego as representative for the mind and as such that the thoughts are more-than me and therefore have the prerogative, domain and sovereignty over me yet because I am the source and origin of the mind and the thoughts originate in/from/as/within me, I perceive/experience/believe/accept and define the thoughts as ‘me’ and as representing who and what I am

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize or understand that thoughts are the living word as I am the living word, as the words I live, in thought and deed is that which I live and as such accumulate into life in its entirety as all that is here collectively as the living word as who we are, as scattered into bits and pieces and therefore every time I allow myself to follow a thought, allow myself to react to a thought, participate within and as a thought, as though it is real and really who I am, I solidify myself as the living word within/as/through and abdicated to thoughts – thoughts that are deceptive in nature, because they are specifically designed based on my deliberate abdication of myself to and as a system of energy based on the fear of losing myself to/in/as my separation of and from myself and as such only accept or allow myself to direct myself according to that which sustains the mind, which specifically exists to NOT realize myself as life and thereby and therefore cannot be trusted

(To be continued)

thoughts 790 1024x576 I Think Therefore I am NOT!: DAY 28“Denying the existence of a ghost only makes it grow bigger” - Greenlandic Proverb

I commit myself to support myself to slow down, through, within and as breath and breathing directively here, so that I can direct the thoughts that emerge and not allow myself to be swallowed by them – because that is where I direct myself to take back self-authority from the mind and lift the mind of the responsibility that I have projected onto the mind and as such abdicated myself from and to

I commit myself to support myself to stop all participation in and as thoughts – within and as the realization that allowing thoughts to direct me is allowing myself to remain separate from and of myself even though that is not even real and yet I have forced this separation in and onto the physical reality

I commit myself to support myself to take back self-responsibility from the mind, through, when and as a thought emerge, to direct myself here, in common sense, in and as the physical – within a consideration of what is best for all

I commit myself to support myself to realize that I am not in fact the mind or thoughts as the living word of and as myself, as the living word of/as who I am as the mind, is the direct manifestation of myself as the program I have programmed myself into and as in direct abdication of and separation of/from myself here in and as the physical – and is as such not who I am, as who I am is here – physical

I commit myself to discipline myself to take responsibility for all thoughts – in understanding that the thoughts are me, yet not me because they are who and what I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself into and as and therefore it is my responsibility to take responsibility for the thoughts to stop my separation of and as myself and bring myself back here so that I can birth myself as life

Related entries:

DAY 27: Be-Living in Thoughts as ‘Who I am’

DAY 26: The Be-Life Decree of Energy as “That which gives me Life”

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