Who I am as: A ‘Woman of Sin Indebted to Man’: DAY 25

May 13, 2012 in Anna's Journey to Life

skindeep splash Who I am as: A Woman of Sin Indebted to Man: DAY 25I am continuing with the deconstruction of the label of the woe-man’ that I started in my previous writing, that has been specifically connected to the Christian ‘below-man female’ as how a woman is below the man that is below god. I will continue with writing out the self-forgiveness on this point; however I will also look further into the definition of being a woe-man, woe literally meaning “sorrow” and “grief” while man in general is referred to as “human being” – so that would mean that the manifestation of the female as ‘woe-man’ is existing within and as the manifestation of the sorrow (or fall of man). In the end of this writing, I’ll provide links to articles that expands this into depth.

Let’s continue:

Paul records that God gave women long hair for their glory (1 Corinthians 11:15), and that for a woman to wear her hair unnaturally short is dishonorable to her and to God (vv. 4–6).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and accept that if I were to live and express myself, as myself without placing myself into the role of being a woman, I will be acting dishonorable towards ‘my man’ as I have defined the man equal to god and as such that I am acting dishonorable towards god, and as such allow not myself to express myself in any way that can be perceived or seen as un-feminine out of fear of being rejected and left by man (as god) not allowing myself to see, realize or understand that the purpose of this belief and the subsequent fear I have accepted and allowed myself to submit myself to, was so that I would remained enslaved within and as the definition of myself as woman as less-than and superior to man and as such if I stopped defining myself according to the idea and doctrine about what being a woman is, I would actually free myself from my own self-accepted limitation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to submit and subject myself to fear of being rejected and denounced and excluded from my relationship with the man (as god) that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive, define, experience and accept myself as dependent upon and thus enslaved to – and thus having accepted and allowed myself to accept myself as a slave and within and because of the belief that I, as a woman am inherently flawed, weak and evil, have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I owe my life to the man (as god) and as such that it is completely natural and acceptable for me to accept myself as a slave and as dependent upon a man (as god) to live and to be of any worth in this world

A real Christian does not “covet” another role or another reality. Eve coveted what God said she was not to have and was deceived. Adam then willingly followed his wife into sin. But, a real Christian does not covet a thing, a position, a role, or a reality more than what God has made possible (2 Corinthians 10:5).

To not be “content” with our roles and with our God is lustfulness and covetousness, which is sin (Romans 7:7; Hebrews 13:5).

I forgive myself that I have never accepted or allowed myself to question my role or reality of myself as a woman and that I within that have held myself enslaved to my self-imposed role as a woman, through the fear and belief that I as a woman am prone to deceive and be deceived and that I therefore must hold myself and be held in a firm moral grip to not ‘step out of bounds’ and that I am forever indebted and thus enslaved to man (as god) for my perceived sin

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself into believing and accepting myself as inherently evil, dangerous and sinful within having allowed myself to question the authority of man (as god) and through that having accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself and be deceived to believe that I have sinned because I asked questions to the authority of man (as god) and that I because of that am and will be forever indebted to man (as god).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own self-expression and even directly deny and resist my own self-expression, within how I have completely and entirely subjected and submitted myself to the belief and acceptance that who I am as as a woman, is sin and that because I have accepted and allowed myself to sin against god, I am evil and in debt to man (as god) and a danger to “the order of life” and a such that I deserve to be contaminated – not realizing the total deception within this of how what I suppressed and denied was my own self-expression and that all that I was a threat to, was the system of enslavement that I have submitted myself to

God is a “jealous God.” He made us. He called us. He gave us instructions to live by. To put anything before Him is idolatry (Exodus 20:5; 34:14).

I forgive myself that I have accepted or allowed myself to believe and accept that it is my fault that man (as god) is jealous because and within the belief that I have sinned and as such that I deserve any punishment or anger that man (as god) see fit and that I am forever indebted to prove my loyalty to man (as god) by unconditionally submitting myself to his will and command and place myself in the role of being a woman as a servant

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. (Peter 3:7)

God has ordained that wives should submit to their husbands “as is fitting in the Lord” (Colossians 3:18), “…the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man” (1 Corinthians 11:3)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, experience, define, judge and accept myself as a woman, as ‘weak’ – physically, mentally, emotionally and morally and that I have never accepted or allowed myself to question this belief within having defined, believed and accepted it as “natural” and as “the word of god” as an inherent and finite “truth” of “who” and “what” I am and as such that man (as god) is inherently “bigger”, “more” and “stronger” and thus superior to me and therefore and thereby inherently righteous and powerful over me and within that accept myself as a slave, servant, subject to the man (as god) and thus accept myself as powerless and as not having any worth or value in or as myself and thereby accept and believe myself to be dependent completely and entirely upon a man (as god) to survive as exist in this world and this reality – not ever accepting or allowing myself to see, realize and understand that the idea, belief, dogma and role of being  ‘a woman’ is entirely constructed and thus not real and that I have therefore superimposed a delusion of limitation upon myself and upon reality as though it is real, even though it is a construct and design of and as enslavement of life as yet another part of the entire system of enslavement that I have accepted and allowed myself to enslave myself within and as – enslaving myself to deceptive stories about who I am in relation to others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and accept that my primary role as a woman is to ‘stand by my man’ and as such that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize or understand that what I have stood by, through my entire existence as a woman, has been the system of enslavement (as god) that I have equated, associated with and projected onto man and my relationship (as sexual/marital) with man.

11 stages womanhood 1840s Who I am as: A Woman of Sin Indebted to Man: DAY 25Let’s have a look at some definitions of “woman

So woe-man can be defined as “the sorrow of humanity” within a definition of the woman as the acceptance of self as enslaved and suffering. In looking further into the definitions I found the following:

late O.E. wimman (pl. wimmen), lit. “woman-man,” alteration of wifman (pl. wifmen), a compound of wif “woman” (see wife) + man “human being” (in Old English used in reference to both sexes; see man (n.)). Cf. Du. vrouwmens “wife,” lit. “woman-man.” The formation is peculiar to English and Dutch. Replaced older Old English wif and quean as the word for “female human being.” The pronunciation of the singular altered in Middle English by the rounding influence of -w-; the plural retains the original vowel. Meaning “wife,” now largely restricted to U.S. dialectal use, is attested from mid-15c. Women’s liberation is attested from 1966; women’s rights is from 1840, with an isolated example in 1630s.

O.E. wif “woman,” from P.Gmc. *wiban (cf. O.S., O.Fris. wif, O.N. vif, Dan., Swed. viv, M.Du., Du. wijf, O.H.G. wib, Ger. Weib), of uncertain origin. Some proposed PIE roots include *weip- “to twist, turn, wrap,” perhaps with sense of “veiled person” (see vibrate); or *ghwibh-, a proposed root meaning “shame,” also “pudenda,” but the only examples of it are wife and Tocharian (a lost IE language of central Asia) kwipe, kip “female pudenda.”

So “Wife” has been defined as “twist/wrap” as a “veiled person” on one hand and on the other as “shame” which fits with my previous definition of the Christian woman as being indebted to the man (as god) because of previous sins – but that exactly ties in with the woman as wife = in agreement with god – is veiled – and self-veiled in accepting self as a sinner and as such indebted and therefore existing in shame and suffering – wrapped and twisted into the delusion of separation.

I forgive myself that I have never accepted or allowed myself to look at or investigate the definition of being a woman and how that has existed throughout time in and as this world and this reality and how I have defined myself accordingly in a relationship to and with the world as a woman

I forgive myself that I have never accepted or allowed myself to see, realize and understand how I have deceived myself into enslaving myself into self-limitation and fear of myself as who I am as life, as nature, as beingness, as unconditional self-expression here without limitation within and as accepting myself as a sinner and because of that as forever indebted to man (as god) to whom which I have accepted and allowed myself to be dependent on to exist and to be of any worth or value in this world and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to have veiled myself and as such hidden myself from and within myself through the fear of facing myself as who and what I really am, believing and accepting that who and what I really am, is a danger to “the order of life” while in fact this is in complete reverse, as “the order of life” is a system of enslavement and as such I have held myself in fear of myself as “sin” to not be a threat to the system of enslavement of life as myself

Redefinition of ‘woman’:

A woman is the description of a female human body as distinctively different in its physical manifestation of form as that of the male. The woman is a design of limitation and separation in its essential design – therefore we will most likely not remain as males and females – however that does not mean that one cannot embrace oneself as a being without defining oneself as male or female, yet at the same time embrace oneself as a male or a female in the recognition of who and what we have accepted ourselves in and as.

I commit myself to support myself to stop all definitions of and as myself as a ‘woman’ as being a liability to the order of things, as a sinner and as such indebted to man – and all consequential limitations and beliefs that I have connected to be a woman through which I have suppressed and limited myself

I commit myself to support myself to stop all outflow living and participation of my belief and acceptance that I as a woman exist indebted to man (as god) because of my acceptance of myself as a sinner

I commit myself to investigate and expose all points that I have accepted as separate from me within to and as defining myself as a woman and to stop and stand up from all definitions and to assist others to do the same

I commit myself to investigate and expose all labels of roles that I have defined myself within and according to a system that are designed to keep me enslaved through my very permission and abdication to and as these systems, roles, definitions and labels

I commit myself to investigate and get to know myself in and as self-intimacy through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application as who and what I am without limiting myself to fear and the label of being a woman and simply embrace myself here

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Suggested reading:

http://annabrixthomsen.com/2012/04/19/day-5-who-i-am-as-a-christian/

http://annabrixthomsen.com/2012/05/12/day-24-who-i-am-as-the-good-christian-woe-man/

http://desteni.org/a/marilyn-monroe-the-human-design-menstruation

http://desteni.org/a/veno-self-forgiveness-female-ego

http://journeytolife.aldinhrvat.com/day-27-male-superiority-and-female-inferiority-a-reversed-case/

http://journey-of-lindsay.blogspot.se/2012/04/day-11-to-be-woman.html

http://marlenvargasdelrazo.wordpress.com/2012/04/21/day-8-my-body-is-not-an-image/

http://annabrixthomsen.com/2012/05/10/day-23-at-war-with-my-man-kill-or-be-killed/