It should not matter where I am: DAY 19-20

May 7, 2012 in Anna's Journey to Life

grass is greener  1024x576 It should not matter where I am: DAY 19 20I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is only one place on earth where I can be satisfied, where I can effectively walk my process, where I can live with others effectively – and that all other places are less than and inferior to this one place

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I do not live in this one place, I can never be satisfied, I can never walk an effective process, I can never live with others effectively – instead of realizing that it should not matter where I am for me to walk effectively as I am that which determines who and what I am and how I walk effectively and whether I am effective or not and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself and to justify why I am not as effective as I could be, simply because I am not living in this one place

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise, disregard and diminish myself here, the beings I live with and the environment and place where I live, because of the belief that there is only one place on earth where I can be satisfied and walk this process effectively and as such completely miss myself here and miss out of the opportunity to walk and live effectively here

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize and understand that it doesn’t matter where I live, because what matters is who I am within and as where I am and what I do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a pattern of always desiring to be somewhere else in the delusional belief that if I where somewhere else, someone else, with someone else, doing something else – I would be satisfied, I would be effective – never realizing that this experience is continuous and constant, because that is how and as who I have accepted myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare where I am here with where I perceive that I should be, which is not even a real place because it is not here – but an image in my mind that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in competition with, within having separated what is here from myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard and disrespect myself here as well as the beings I live with and the environment and place I live, by diminishing it in my mind in comparing it to the only place I believe I will be satisfied and effective – not realizing that it is not about where I am, but about who and what I accept myself as, as continuously not allow myself to be satisfied or effective, because I believe that I need and require something, someone else outside separate from my to make me satisfied and for me to be effective

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, experience and accept that I need something, someone else outside separate from me to make me satisfied and to make me effective and as such within that have justified my self-abdication and allowed myself to blame those that I have deceived myself into believing are responsible

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my self-abdication through projecting the responsibility for my satisfaction and effectiveness outside separate from me

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to face myself in self-honesty in and as self-responsibility for my satisfaction and effectiveness and subsequent dissatisfaction and ineffectiveness and as such investigate why I am not satisfied or effective so that I can direct myself effectively to stand and live what is best for all – and as such create myself into and as satisfaction within the realization and self-direction that the only valid satisfaction is to live that which is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest, create and participate in constant and continuous back chat and self-talk about how it is unfair that I am not in that one place on earth where I believe I will be satisfied and effective and how there is something wrong with me because I am not there and how I am to blame for not being there and how I would have been satisfied and effective had I been there

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest, create and participate within and as constant and continuous backchat of projecting myself in my mind – and as such separate myself from myself here in and as the physical – onto the only place on earth where I believe I can be satisfied and walk process effectively and imagine what it will be like to be there and how happy I would be if I was there and how satisfied and effective

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest, create and participate within and as constant and continuous backchat of and as envy and jealousy towards the beings that are in fact at this only place on earth that I believe is worth existing at, in picturing how they are enjoying themselves and each other and how they are satisfied and effective

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to relate and associate my satisfaction and effectiveness – and as such myself as satisfaction and effectiveness – to a place outside separate from me, that actually only exist in my mind – and as such as a delusion – and by doing so, completely separate myself from and accept myself as separate from myself here, in and as the physical – the only place where I can change, the only place where I can face and change myself as satisfaction and effectiveness into what is in fact best for all

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to walk effectively here, because I have allowed myself to preoccupy myself within, with and as backchat of projection as separating in the belief I must be somewhere else to be effective and satisfied

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I have never actually allowed myself to be satisfied and to see that the problem is not that I am dissatisfied, but that I have not accepted or allowed myself to be satisfied or to direct myself into and as satisfaction – or to investigate why I am not satisfied and that the answer does not lay in my personal satisfaction, but in what is here as the totality of existence as who and what and how I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize or understand the arrogance and spite that I have cast upon myself and upon all of existence by believing that my personal satisfaction is the most important thing in the world and that as such, because I am not satisfied with myself or with my experience of myself in the world, that I cannot be effective or apply myself effectively – and as such disregard and spite all of existence and myself in and as it

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to let go of the belief, idea and perception that only by being in and living in this one particular place on earth will I be satisfied or effective and as such have allowed myself to deceive and manipulate myself into accepting and justifying my ineffectiveness as yet another trick of the mind that I completely and entirely have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate myself to

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize and understand the complete deceptive nature and design of the belief that I cannot be satisfied or effective, without being dependent upon someone else or somewhere else outside separate from me and that I through participating in and submitting myself to this belief, have accepted and allowed myself to be and justify myself as ineffective

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the only reason why I am not effective or satisfied is because I have separated myself from myself as effectiveness and satisfaction and as such my dissatisfaction or ineffectiveness is entirely and totally my own responsibility – and as such it is my responsibility to direct myself into and as effectiveness and satisfaction through bringing myself back to myself here, walking here, living here, in and as the physical

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to direct and support myself to investigate in self-honesty why and how I am not effective or satisfied and if that is a real and practical self-honest deduction or if it is a delusion of separation in my mind that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and manifest myself into and as, as a way of abdicating my self-responsibility as life here

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to direct and support myself to be and become effective and to accept myself as effectiveness

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I will never actually be satisfied until I live here as what is best for all in every breath and that the experience of dissatisfaction is indicating where and how I am not standing or walking for and within what is best for all and as such is a point I can support myself through, instead of taking personally in preoccupying myself in the belief that I have a right to be satisfied or that it is unfair that I am not satisfied

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect and anticipate that I will be satisfied and to see, define, experience and accept it as unfair and unjustified if I am not experiencing satisfaction and as such throw emotional tantrums and refuse to act or live what is best for all because I am not satisfied – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that the only point in existence that currently is valid as satisfaction is to live and act within and according to what is best for all

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize or understand that it doesn’t matter where I am for whether or not I am effective or satisfied – because that which determines my effectiveness and satisfaction is me as who and what I accept and allow myself to be and live as and what I accordingly live

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to be grateful and humble for where I am and in that see, that no matter where I am, I have the opportunity to direct and support myself in self-honesty to be effective and satisfied within standing up for and within what is best for all – and in fact the responsibility to do so, because nothing else is relevant besides creating a world that is best for all

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see or admit to myself in self-honesty the process within which I have walked myself here to where I am and realize that I cannot be anywhere else but where I am  – or walk within or as anyone else as who I am here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to come up with and submit myself to any and all excuses and justifications to not be effective and because of this not allow myself to actually be satisfied because the only point of satisfaction I have accepted is satisfaction within and as the mind as self-interest

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize or understand that my desire and preoccupation with being somewhere else than where I am – is me allowing myself to live and exist within and as self-interest in a one-dimensional reality in my mind where all I care about it my own idea of satisfaction and my preference to live in a certain place, with certain people in a certain way – and not in any way what so ever consider or care about what is best for all

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see or realize that my desire to be somewhere else, with someone else, as someone else – is actually a desire to get away from myself here and as such a justification as emotional manipulation so as to not face myself here and in and as self-honesty direct myself here effectively to and as a point of satisfaction within and according to what is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distract myself deliberately from focusing on and facing what is here as whom I am, as the self-dishonesty as self-deception that I have accepted and allowed myself to live and exist in and as – in self-interest as ego of mind, in separation of and from myself here -

You Are Here Earth 1024x1024 It should not matter where I am: DAY 19 20I commit myself to stop all participation in backchat of desire to be somewhere else, with someone else, as someone else – and I commit myself to support myself to remain here to stop thoughts and projections outside of myself

I commit myself to stop and delete the belief that I will and can only be effective and satisfied by being on a specific place on earth, so that I can direct and support myself here to be effective so as to live within and according to what is best for all and as such accept and allow myself to be and become fully satisfied

I commit myself to dedicated myself to walk as who I am here, where I am, with whom I am with and to do whatever is required to be done here to create a world that is best for all and myself within that as a being that stands for and lives what is best for all

I commit myself to bring into manifestation the realization that it does not matter where I am because where I am is here and who I am is here

I commit myself to be grateful for what is here and the opportunities I have here to stand myself up as life as what is best for all

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