April 22, 2012 in Anna's Journey to Life
“And don’t get hurt,’. ‘There’s no one to help you up there. And don’t go stirring up a lot of trouble for us. This case isn’t ripe yet. Until it is, our policy with Mr Big is ‘live and let live’.” - Quote from the movie titled “Live and Let Die”
Today I have had a “live and let die” day and realization – I started when I woke up and allowed myself to participate in a mind-possession. The specific point I was experiencing was a lot of thoughts, back chat and experiences in relation to my agreement with my partner that I had been accumulating for quite some days, believing that I had to come to a conclusion, yet finding myself unable to and thus “letting it go”.
In this I allowed myself to “take the day off” which in “my world” (of living automated mind-possession patterns) was watching movies and simply doing my daily tasks. I have recently walked a 21 days to freedom application of not watching TV series because I had allowed myself to become addicted to watching TV series and specifically use TV series as a point of suppression, where I would watch and watch and watch and allowed myself to become completely submerged within it as a “letting go of myself” so within allowing myself to watch movies in this starting-point I was allowing myself to do the same again.
What is interesting is that the strategy behind this is to “let go” but the actual application is exactly the opposite: suppression. And what suppression is is actually a holding on through procrastinating the point of facing oneself and in self-honesty brings the points one is facing back to oneself – and as such take self-responsibility for what one have accepted and allowed and as such change and align oneself to what is best for all.
Eventually I talked the point through which my partner, who assisted me to see that I was projecting. Some very cool points emerged that requires direction which I will be writing about in relation to money and control.
However, for this writing, I have decided to write about this point for my own sake – to walk through it in openness and not allow myself to “live and let die.” This was also why I decided to speak with my partner about the point I had been accumulating for quite some days – precisely through avoiding it and “letting it slide” – all based on the self-deceptive belief that by not bringing it up – in openness with myself or with my partner – “it will go away” and that this is the same as “letting it go.” – but what it actually is, is letting it “live” through not directing it – through letting it grow and stay in the secret mind.
When I finally decided to speak to my partner about it, my first decision was to be “diplomatic” – which actually meant “censoring” the information. Eventually I decided and directed myself to share everything directly, simply explain how I experienced myself, what I had thought, how I had allowed the point to accumulate and what I saw as the practical solution. In fact, when I have done this previously it has been very supportive and in doing so, I have allowed myself to “lay it all out” and within doing that, give myself the opportunity to face the point in having it cross-referenced by another and also simply in speaking it out and hear the words for myself as I speak, hear how my thoughts sound once they are articulated, which often leads to self-realizations of seeing that what I had accepted and allowed was delusional and deceptive.
The cross-reference can then be done in writing as well, which is the same as speaking with another about it, where one “lay out” the point in all detail – this was what I experienced, this is how I see I created it, this is how I see I can solve it and change myself. THAT is the beginning of letting go. Because we can only let go, if we actually face the point first and thus the actual letting go – is a self-directed decision in seeing all parts of a point and deciding to change one’s starting-point and change one’s living.
By not doing that – in the delusion that through suppression, one is letting go – one is in fact convulsively holding on to the point as a direct abdication of self-responsibility for oneself.
Live and let die has been given a positive definition of being relaxed and not taking things so seriously, but what is the person actually doing in the quote above? Procrastinating and suppressing through fear, manipulation and deception.
So the statement is actually false – by suppressing a point and by procrastinating the point of facing and directing oneself in self-honesty one is in fact not living – one is rather waiting to die and calling that living. “Live and let die” is not a statement of “easy living” because what one is in fact doing is building the point up continuously until one do in fact die or face oneself, through, as and within self-direction.
So this is the point I commit myself to walk – to live and let myself live through not allowing myself to suppress points. I commit myself to let go of the survival strategy of suppressing points as though I thereby are letting them go – when in fact I am holding onto to them.
I commit myself to not ” live and let die” as in letting points go – when in fact what I have done within that is to let them go on in abdicating self-responsibility.
I commit myself to push myself to direct myself to face myself immediately and to immediately correct myself, so that I can actually start living in letting myself live.
I commit myself to Live in letting that die which is not best for all through directing myself to face all points and parts of and as myself that I have separated myself into and as and as such walk the process of letting myself live.