Waking up in the Morning: DAY 7

April 21, 2012 in Anna's Journey to Life

saida afonina good morning 2008 e1272681148163 Waking up in the Morning: DAY 7For quite a while I have effectively disciplined myself to sleep five hours or less. The next point I saw required direction was the point of not allowing myself to manipulate myself into continue sleeping, but to simply get up, no matter when I wake up and go to sleep when I am tired. What I am directing here, is the experience of waking up in the morning, because I can see how I have allowed myself to access a “mood” upon waking up and from there determine my entire day according to this mood, in abdicating myself here and allowing myself to be directed by the mind. The image that I have used to accompany this post is cool, because it shows a child simply being here in and as the physical, no thoughts, no past, no shit carried through from the day before. That is what I am here to direct myself to live equally.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to wake up in the morning and bring myself back here to the physical in and as breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, as I wake up in the morning, to immediately attach myself to and go into a state of mind as a mood, in reaction to thoughts and such in self-manipulation and as such sabotage and deny myself the opportunity of waking up here, in and as the physical

I forgive myself that I, within allowing myself to immediately go into and access a mood through reacting emotionally to a thought, have accepted and allowed myself to determine the outcome of my day, where I will remain in this “mood” until I stop and move myself out, instead of simply immediately as I wake up – not allow myself to react to the thoughts coming up, but to instead firmly and consistently stop, delete and direct the thoughts and through breath bring myself here in and as the physical

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for dreaming and for participating in dreams as I have defined dreams as indicative of an over-active mind and as such that the more I dream, the more I show myself that I am accepting myself as the mind – instead of seeing realizing and understanding that I within judging myself, have allowed myself to interpret and understand the mind and dreaming from a starting-point of ego, in and as believing that the mind is bad, that dreaming is bad and that I am a lesser human being because I dream and because I exist in and as the mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as anger towards myself when I wake up and realize that I have been dreaming extensively within seeing dreaming as a failure to stop the mind and as a sign that I am over-active in the mind and as such not effectively stopping the mind – instead of simply looking in commonsense self-honesty at how and why I have created the point of dreaming extensively as it is definitely indicative of a mind-process – but to not allow myself to judge myself or to see dreaming as something bad – because I realize that all that is here must be faced as myself and purified as such by me taking responsibility for myself – not by pretending to be something or someone that I am not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate and deceive myself into becoming possessed and walking through out my day from a starting-point of accepting myself to become possessed upon the moment of waking up, in seeing the thoughts emerge and react to them through allowing myself to judge the thoughts and to experience the thoughts as a real and valid indicator of who and what I am – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I am in that moment, allowing myself to separate myself from myself here in and as the physical and as such allowing myself to generate energy for the mind to feed of off so that I can continue existing as and within the mind, as a limited closed loop of thoughts, emotions and feelings

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to embrace myself in the moment of waking up, in and as allowing myself to breathe here and breathe myself here in and as silence and in and as embracing myself here as the physical

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to direct myself to rest as sleep and to wake myself up in the morning and instead having allowed myself to be directed, defined, determined and confined within and as moving myself only according to the mind as thoughts, emotions, feelings and back chat

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be grateful for the opportunity to wake up in the morning and that I have accepted and allowed myself to take waking up for granted

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be pre-occupied within and as interest of ego, in how I have seen myself and my reality upon waking up, instead of realizing, seeing and understanding that there are literally billions of beings that wake up each day of their entire life, in fear for their life, in physical agony, on the streets, in the cold, who wake up to yet another day without food or shelter or protection – and as such, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in and as abuse and in and as acceptance of abuse and suffering of others, by allowing myself to preoccupy myself in the mind – only caring about and considering myself here as ego and personality, instead of simply embracing myself here in and as the physical and moving myself to participate in my day, in such a way that I do whatever is possible to bring about a world that is best for all life – where all wake up warm, soft, safe and comfortable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only consider and care about my own personal and self-create and self-accepted “state of being” in allowing myself to exist within and as the mind, separating myself from myself here in as the physical

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, accept and experience that the thoughts that emerge are showing me what is real and valid and who I am – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that the thoughts are showing me who and what I have accepted and allowed myself to be, and live as – and that I as such have an opportunity to, in that moment decide who and what I will accept and allow myself to be instead of merely giving in to the thoughts, reacting to the thoughts by accessing and activating an emotional reaction of depression, regret, sadness, anger, frustration and self-judgment

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize, see and understand that if I do not direct myself immediately upon waking up in directing myself here as breath – I am not here and such I will submit myself to the mind, to let the mind direct me and determine who I am and what I will do in my day and who I will be and how I will experience myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wake up and to experience myself as “a pile of shit” carried through from yesterday and the points I did not effectively walk yesterday – or ever – and such wake up within and as creating an experience of myself as a burden, as a failure, as “not good enough” – instead of allowing myself to let the waking up be a process of gently moving myself here as breath in allowing myself to stand anew

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself for waking up and participating in thoughts and such accumulate the point of participating in the mind, instead of simply directing myself here, gently, firmly in commonsense self-honesty as to who and what I will accept and allow myself to be and become

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to “clean the slate” before I go to sleep and thus upon waking up, being faced with the shit that I did not direct effectively the day before in the delusional and deceptive belief that “sleeping on it” will somehow make the shit go away – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that no shit will go away, unless and until I specifically direct the shit as myself here in self-honesty and in unconditional self-support allow myself to face myself  and simply immediately move myself to self-correction and change

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to let go of the tasks from the day before that I simply could not practically do and as such start each day – and in fact each moment – anew in simply looking at in practicality at what is required to be done and then simply moving myself physically to get it done

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to embrace myself in self-support and self-love and self-care in the moment upon waking up and that I instead have accepted and allowed myself to create an automated experience of depression, of feeling haunted by the past and of judging myself for dreaming and for having allowed myself to participate in and as the mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the excuse – and as such manipulate myself through participating in and following thoughts – and indeed creating thoughts to sabotage myself through, to accept and allow myself to not get up immediately upon waking up based on the belief that because I sleep 5 hours or less, I am entitled to be tired and to keep sleeping when in fact, the waking up of myself is a physical practical point of simply bringing myself here, ready to start my day and that supporting myself to sleep less and to not be attached to ideas and beliefs about sleeping requirements, assists and supports me to walk myself out of the mind and into the physical

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wake up in a state of inner conflict, of inner fighting, of inner back chat and self-judgment in the acceptance that who I judge myself to be, is who and what I am, instead of simply allowing myself to see in commonsense self-honesty where and as who I require aligning myself to what is best for all and then simply applying the direct self-corrective action to make it so

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my entire day be determined by how I wake up and experience myself, through as and within self-judgment, believing that I must redeem the mistakes I did yesterday and in general, haunting myself with the past, instead of simply embracing myself here anew and allowing myself to start over

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to utilize waking up in the morning as a point of confirming my commitment to myself to walk out of the mind and into the physical and to support myself to embrace myself here unconditionally in brutal gentleness as self-honesty

I commit myself to, when waking up in the morning, direct myself here as breath – to breath, to simply breathe and allow myself to be here, in and as the physical

I commit myself to, when I wake up in the morning to immediately direct the thoughts that emerge, to stop and delete them, to not participate and  that when and as I see that I am reacting to the thoughts, to immediately forgive myself to release myself and allow myself to start anew

I commit myself to embrace myself in and as unconditional self-support as I wake up in the morning and to allow myself to direct myself to determine my day by, within and as consistent and unconditional self-support

I commit myself to stop all reactions and self-judgments in not accepting or allowing myself to let my entire day be directed by and determined by reactions and self-judgment

I commit myself to stop all mind-possession and manipulation and self-deception through my direct participation in and through the mind and thus immediately direct myself here

I commit myself to wake up here instead of waking up in blaming myself for the past, in holding onto the past and instead simply and gently bring myself here

I commit myself to wake up in and as support of myself as the physical body, in feeling and moving myself here, instead of moving myself through and as the mind only in placing myself in a relationship between the past and the future

I commit myself to wake up in the morning in walking a process of only accepting myself as that which is best for all, in physically moving myself here in accordance with the physical reality

I commit myself to supporting myself through allowing myself to direct myself effectively upon the first breath in waking up, so as to confirm my commitment to myself to  live what is best for all

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