March 15, 2012 in Anna's Process Blog
The story of Anu is our story, yours and mine. This is our story. It is not a fairytale, a myth, a dream, a night-mare — it is in fact our story. And it is being told at last, so that all can be equally aligned in understanding where we come from and how we have gotten to where we are today in this world, this reality and in ourselves.
In the interview with Anu, he says:
“There is much more within this existence than just your idea of yourself. And one only has so many opportunities and so many chances, and that there is a point where it is too late. And many still within this existence wasting Time! There is such a thing as Time, at the moment. This physical existence is the manifestation of time, and time is being stretched, to allow for windows of opportunity as realization to emerge. But there’s still an extensive amount of: everything is ok, everything is fine! I’m ok and I’m alright! I’ve got time, there’s lots of time! I just have to do this little bit here, little bit there… Careful! Because that reality can prove to you that you’ve been within an absolute illusion within who you are in existence. So don’t wait till it is too late!”
With his story Anu asks us to initiate our story, for me and you to initiate our story, that realization is possible in every moment. When I heard this – and exactly as Anu, it is not the first time I have heard this and missed the point – I thought: “how is that possible considering ‘who’ I am, ‘where’ I am?”
In these reviews of interviews, I have focused mostly on the story the being was telling or how their story related to “the grand scheme of things” – however with Anu’s story I can see that what is relevant Here – as it is at all times – is to bring the point back to myself.
So how am I wasting time? How do I not stand absolute? How do I believe that “there is enough time”? How have I been missing the obvious for so long when it – as myself here – was right in front of my face the entire time.
Usually when I write, I have a totality of a point within me and all I have to do is simply to write it through from beginning to end. But this time I have no such direction. What I have done when I have listened to the interviews for review has been to latch onto a specific point mentioned in the interview and then ‘rolled with it’ from there, giving perspectives and sharing my own insights.
Not this time. This time I start with the birth and death of myself in every breath. I start here from scratch without a preconception about where this writing will ‘end.’ And I do so because I was ‘inspired’ by Anu’s words and who and what Anu as an emergence of being represented of and as all of us.
As I walk and live my daily life-experience, I exist within a framework of being in full control. I have realized this in relation to living with pets and how they are at my beg and call – I decide when they eat, what they eat, where they eat, sleep and shit.
Initiating my story is the initiation of a story of abuse, deception and control. Except for the purely physiological requirements of a human physical body, I have, as the mind been in total control of the organism that is this body sitting here on a chair typing. I have decided when this body slept, when it ate, what it ate, who it had sex with, how and when it had sex and through participating in emotions and feelings and thoughts, I have superimposed myself as a mind-consciousness-system onto the body, perceiving the body from within and as my ivory tower of the personalities as ego, as a toy, a tool, a mere representation of myself. I have never given much thought or consideration to the processes the body goes through on a daily basis.
In fact, I have forced the body into submission and I have used it as scapegoat, as a place to cast my spite and vengeance. When I say this, I mean it quite literally. An example is a pattern I have recently realized, where, if I experience that someone has done me wrong or that I have been treated unfairly, I have suppressed the experience of anger, and immediately taken this anger out on the body as a twisted form of punishment through indulging myself in food or candy or entertainment or even drugs. In this pattern my idea of myself is that I am in pity and that I deserve some kind of treat or compensation for the wrong that has been done to me. So I indulge – but what I have actually been doing is to punish myself, force myself to eat foods that were not supportive for my body inverting my anger towards myself. I know where this pattern stems from, and I am working with stopping and releasing it through the writing of a Mind-Construct about that period I my life in the Desteni I Process.
Once seeing this, it is a shock to discover that I have done exactly to myself as Anu did to existence. I am Anu.
The body is an organism, a community made up by all the cells, the blood stream, the nerves, the muscles, the organs, the skeleton, exactly as the universe has stars and milky-ways or how the earth exists as an eco-system carefully orchestrated by all life-forms, plant, animal and mineral-life. The body is no different.
And I have been existing as the sole ruler, the god over myself as an eco-system, a planet, a universe. There has been absolutely no equality in my ruling of myself, because it has all been about one point: consciousness. The consciousness as my experience and perception and acceptance of myself from within and as the mind, only caring about my own ideas and feelings based on accumulated threads of memories and information intertwined and tangled into each other into personalities that I perceive and experience as a monocracy that I perceive as “myself”, a single entity.
What is best for all as the entirety of the system that starts with this physical body and is no different in the world or existence as a whole, is not something I have ever considered. I have only considered my body-functions and possible diseases from a starting-point of avoiding pain and death.
How the blood stream, the intestines or the organs experience themselves in the human physical body is never something that has crossed my mind. Why? Because I have been entirely obsessed with my idea of myself in the mind. I have not given a shit about the body or its components and life-forms, because all I cared about was what the body could do for me, what it would get me, how I could use the body to create experiences of pleasure and excitement.
My entire life has been about indulgence, about getting to the next sensory experience and no matter how the body has responded; I have kept going and going – exactly as Anu. And the body has simply been here all along, silently and unconditionally supporting me, no matter what – exactly as the earth, the plants and animals has done for us as human beings for so long.
So this is the core of my message today and what I got from listening to the interview with Anu: that I have existed as an Anu in myself – even in the words commonly used to describe this living as “my own body” – I have perceived the human physical body as my property, not even existing in itself.
This is the thing with slavery – and quite interesting actually, that it only works as long as the one being enslaved is deprived of being considered “life”, sentience or even existing and is silenced to exist only as an object to be used. This is what the human physical body has been to me.
As I have been working with Pilates and with my body in discovering what types of food are supporting I have started to discover myself as the physical. But what I have learned first and foremost is how little I have been in my physical – that is even in itself an oxymoron that shows the absolute absurdity of how we have existed. Because no matter what we are in fact here in the physical – we are in fact here as the physical. So the fact that we can live in a way that is not physical, described not even being in the physical, but in a make-belief reality in our minds, ought to serve as a wake-up call that something is not as it should be in this world and in ourselves.
It is fascinating the belief that we must control the body through the mind, because that in itself is a form of dictatorship, where one part of the eco-system is placed above all else, as a god that dictates and decides how to live and interact. It is simply not an effective – or the best way – to exist.
So what I am looking at here is the understanding and progressing realization that the body is a multitude of equal parts, equal parts and make up a whole, the whole that is me walking around, living, typing, existing – this is the wholeness through and with which I can stand for what is best for all. As the entirety of me as the human physical body stand for what is best for all, all parts will operate optimally as they will all support each other and none will claim to be more or less than other parts. The body does not require a king or a god or a monocratic leader because it’s oneness consist of and exist as equal parts – the liver cannot exist without the kidneys functioning just like the blood and the heart work together.
It is about time that we as human beings start seeing that this is what is required on this planet, if we are to co-exist and not destroy ourselves through a simultaneous implosion and inflation of the world systems we live in and as.
The body is not a temple, but it is also not an object or a slave of consciousness. And furthermore: this entire point is in reverse; consciousness is not who I am or who we are. From that perspective consciousness is an artificial insemination that is ‘born’ from an accumulation of consequences, over and over until we began believing that all these excuses, justifications and lies, were who – and all we were.
The physical is here. The physical is the totality of what is here. And as I exist in and as a human physical body, I too am a part of that. There is no one to blame for what is here. All we can do is to as the whole take responsibility for the parts we are standing in and as, and as the parts we are standing in and as, take equal responsibility for the whole.
I am not the god over the body. I do not have “a right” to do with the body as I please.
Realizing ourselves in the moments of opportunity becomes a lot easier and accessible as we stand one and equal in the group that is the community of the human physical body, feet grounding by gently pressing into the earth below us, ears alert, eyes open, back straight and breathing ourselves in and out, through the lungs, the blood stream, the heart. In that we can stand in self-support, all parts coming together in this moment of realization – equal and one, best for all.