October 15, 2011 in Anna's Process Blog
The following is a real life story as a practical example of how existing in the mind makes you a liability: The other day I was out walking with the cats and was coming from a starting-point of being emotional. I even took the walk specifically at that time within a consideration that it would be cool to take a walk and clear myself and apply self-forgiveness.
As I walked out it was a usual day walking the cats. I had planned also to make some phone calls while I was there and the cats seem to enjoy when I am simply doing my thing and they are doing theirs and they simply know where I am. As I was making my first call, Flicky had climbed up into a tree, out onto a thin branch and was hanging in her arms about to fall. So I grabbed her and hung up my phone call realizing that I did not have situation under control. In addition there was a truck pulling up close to where we were and the cats got spooked by that as well. I still had not cleared myself and was instead suppressing the emotional turmoil and pushing it and myself away by simply pushing forward. I noticed that the cats where jumpy and started walking our daily route thinking that it would make them calm down.
But as we walked into the forest, one of the other cats came. I am not sure if it is in fact aggressive or if it is displaying a point of “natural” dominance that is integrated in cat-relationships. All I know is that I don’t like seeing that (big bully –lol ) cat lashing out at my little ones. Total mother-system-demon activation there. She started lashing out and chasing the little ones that ran in opposite directions Flicky into a tree as she always does and Cheaky more trying to simply avoid being tossed around by this big cat. I actually yelled at her and tried getting her to leave, but she is persistent and I am quite sure that it is more a matter of curiosity and sociability than it is actual aggression or hostility – lol – those are also more human traits.
So I walked up the mossy cliffs where we usually walk and as I was walking backwards, I experienced myself more and more stressed and emotional, yet I again dismissed it as an automated reflex. I called for the cats to come so that we could get away from the big cat and simply take our daily stroll.
They were not coming and I took another step backwards. I suddenly fell. I was a completely surreal experience – I had taken a step back, being completely in a one-dimensional mind-set and now I had fallen off the cliff and was standing in muddy water covering my boots. I quickly got out of there and was a little in shock. Not so much that it had happened. There was no fear involved with the physical experience itself; it was simply wet and cold. No pain involved. But I was in shock of how “not here” I had been. Of how I have literally “fallen of a cliff” due to me not being aware here. After that my boots were wet, inside and out and it was quite cold out so I thought that it would be best, since I did have the flue to go in.
So I grabbed the cats while still being in a state of emotional possession. Cheaky squirmed. He did not want to go in already as we had just gotten outside. He also possibly reacted to me being completely unstable and therefore not safe to be holding both cats while walking down a slippery slope covered in moss. So he jumped out of my arms and landed on the ground in a bad way, not in that elegant cat like way where they turn in the air. I put Flicky down and I started crying and I felt so guilty that I had taken my shit out on the cats, by simply not being here, by allowing myself to be emotional and reactive and instead of sitting myself down and stopping I just kept going.
So I actually ended up taking a long walk with the cats where I applied SF and breathed myself back here. They immediately responded by also being their normal self and not being scared or run away from me. Interestingly enough – where dogs seem to emphasize with humans that are sad or emotional, cats seem to see it as a liability and actually rather stay out of your way. They do however also two minutes later come and ask you to play as to say; “oh that – that was nothing, just snap out of it so we can play and have fun now”.
The cats are extremely supportive from this perspective as they’re often through their very Beingness showing me who and what it is that I have not allowed myself to live – self-trust, self-acceptance, self-comfortability, self-enjoyment. All characteristics of the cats that can as easily be applied and lived by and as the human, if only we will get out feet back on the ground, breathe and stop the mind.
Existing in your mind makes you a liability. It makes you do and say all kinds of crazy shit and it makes you totally untrustworthy to yourself and those around you. It makes it difficult if not impossible to take self-responsibility, because you’ll be coming from a starting-point of self-delusion, of paranoia and experiences of energy as polarity that’ll take you from highs to lows to highs again, like a freaking carousel ride from hell. That is what human beings are currently living. And it is time to stop the spin and get back here, so that we can take care of – and start caring for – the world that is here.
Step beyond the veil: Desteni Group
Stand up for Life: Destonians
Join the party of Life: Equal Money System