February 23, 2009 in Anna's Process Blog
OK, so here I am with a lot of regret and shame on my shoulders once again. One thing that I am ashamed about is the way I sound when posting some blogs. I see myself having a cocky, almost arrogant way of presenting myself. It boils down to a desire for being special, being famous and so forth. But I also see, that on the other side of that specific polar river, is the exact opposite manifesting within me. The fear of being stuipid, unworthy, not existing and so forth.
What I wish to do now, is to let these two sides of me come together and speak the truth. The solution as I see it right now lies in the grace of mercy. I have as long as I can remember not given mercy much thought as I often wiewed it as being linked to pety and being a martyr. I see now that mercy is the gift I give myself within forgiving myself. In Danish we have two words for it. The one meaning heartfulness where you have mercy with some one out of the goodness in your hear. This would entail that the being giving the mercy is higher or more rightous than the other. There for in separation. The other is more connected to being redemed from your sins or something like that. Either way I deside to take on a whole new interpretation: Mercy: ME – I – SEE
That mercy towards myself is now to see myself and what I allow and accept in honesty and without judgement or regret, hence the mercy.